Allison Alford, Ph.D.

Clinical Associate Professor of Business Communication Baylor University

  • Waco TX

Interpersonal & business communications expert who studies the roles of daughters & mothers in the family structure

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Spotlight

3 min

Stress-Free Holiday Gatherings Made Simple

Holiday gatherings often bring a mix of joy and challenges, especially when navigating complex family dynamics. Anticipating potential hurdles, such as sensitive topics or interpersonal tensions, can help family members approach these events with confidence and clarity. Baylor University communication expert Allison M. Alford, Ph.D., researches adult daughtering, invisible labor and family relationships and emphasizes the importance of preparation to ensure a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for everyone over the holidays. She shares five practical tips to help families navigate the holidays with ease: Dr. Allison Alford’s Five Family Tips for a Stress-free Holiday 1.Work out known hurdles before you arrive to the holiday event. Family dynamics often have predictable friction points – whether it’s a difference in political views, sibling rivalries or unresolved conflicts. Identify these hurdles in advance and decide how to approach them. “For instance, if you anticipate a certain topic will come up, plan a calm response or rehearse setting a boundary,” Alford said. “If you’re traveling with a partner or children, discuss how you’ll handle challenging moments as a team. The goal is to minimize surprises and feel equipped to manage potential stressors.” 2.Come prepared with a list of topics you’re ready and willing to talk about (and off-limits subjects, too!). Having a mental (or physical!) list of neutral or positive conversation topics can keep the mood light and engaging, Alford said. “Think about shared hobbies, family memories or recent accomplishments,” she said. “At the same time, identify subjects that are off-limits for you – like contentious debates or sensitive personal matters – and practice polite ways to redirect or deflect those conversations. For example, you could say, ‘I’d rather not get into that today. Tell me about your new garden!’ Preparation is key to feeling in control of the dialogue.” 3.Set a mantra for your intention. Repeat often. Alford suggests anchoring yourself with a phrase or saying that aligns with your values and goals for the event. For example, “I will stay calm and kind,” or “I am here to connect, not to control.” Repeat this mantra to yourself whenever you feel stress creeping in. “It acts as a mental reset and helps you respond intentionally rather than react impulsively. Over time, this practice can shift your mindset and create a buffer against family tension,” Alford said. View her profile 4.Take breaks when you feel things going off the rails. Recognizing when you’re overwhelmed is a vital skill. If emotions are running high, excuse yourself for a breather. A short walk, stepping outside for fresh air, or even taking an extended “bathroom break” can provide the time you need to decompress and regroup. “Use this break to practice deep breathing, text a supportive friend or simply enjoy a few moments of solitude. Returning with a clearer head can prevent escalation and help you maintain your composure,” Alford said. 5.Stand up for your needs. Don’t abandon yourself! While family gatherings often involve compromise, Alford said it’s important not to sacrifice your emotional well-being. If a situation feels uncomfortable or hurtful, express your needs calmly but firmly, she said. For example, “I feel uncomfortable when this is discussed. Let’s talk about something else.” “Prioritize your mental health and remember that it’s okay to say no, step away or leave early if necessary. Standing up for yourself sends a clear message that your feelings matter and reinforces healthy boundaries,” Alford said. By addressing known hurdles in advance, curating conversation topics, setting personal intentions and taking mindful breaks when needed, Alford said family members can create a buffer against tension and foster meaningful connections. “At the same time, standing up for your needs and setting boundaries helps preserve your emotional well-being,” she said. “With these strategies, you’ll be better equipped to approach holiday events with confidence and calm.”

Allison Alford, Ph.D.

5 min

New Research Highlights the Unseen Challenges, Adaptations of Adult Daughters During COVID Upheaval for Families

An innovative Baylor University study has shed light on the often-overlooked experiences of women doing “daughtering” in families, particularly during the COVID-19 pandemic, which created immense challenges in their relationships with parents and other family members. “Daughtering” refers to the ways adult daughters contribute to flourishing family relationships, according to Allison M. Alford, Ph.D., clinical associate professor in the Department of Information Systems and Business Analytics in Baylor’s Hankamer School of Business. Alford’s latest research, Daughterwork in Times of Social Upheaval, published in Qualitative Research Reports in Communication, explores how societal changes caused by the pandemic required women to reconfigure their relationships with their parents and emphasizes the critical role adult daughters play in maintaining family connections, particularly in times of crisis. "This study highlights how social upheavals like the COVID-19 pandemic can both challenge and reinforce the essential work that daughters do in their families," Alford said. “Past research has shown that women often bear the brunt of responsibility when crises occur at home, work or in the extended family. Particularly for professional women – those who are balancing changing workplace demands alongside immediate and extended family concerns as well as societal shifts – increased care needs or the perception of such for parents can increase stress and negatively impact well-being, yet women still persist in providing upstream support for a variety of reasons.” Using in-depth, semi-structured interviews of women who identified change to their daughtering, professional and family lives, Alford discovered four themes about how a crisis can provide opportunities for flexible daughtering, meaningful connection and reflection on one’s most important relationships. Daughtering is adaptive action The pandemic forced many daughters to rapidly adjust their caregiving practices with their parents. When normal forms of communication were not an option, many daughters turned to technology to bridge the gap. This included increased use of video calls, social media, and other digital communication tools to maintain contact and promote family connection. Alford’s research found that daughters also took on new, often physically demanding tasks to ensure their parents’ well-being – delivering groceries, managing household repairs and organizing virtual family gatherings. “These actions were not only about adapting to the context of social upheaval but also about intensifying their caring efforts to meet the evolving needs of their parents,” Alford said. Daughtering is adaptive timing The study revealed that daughters had to maintain a heightened state of vigilance, constantly prepared to address unexpected crises, Alford said. Unlike the more predictable daughtering routines of the past, the pandemic introduced a level of uncertainty that required daughters to be in a near-constant state of readiness. One study participant described her experience as being in "constant problem-solving mode," which added significant stress to her daily life. “This ‘adaptive timing’ meant that daughters often found themselves juggling sudden care demands with their own professional and personal obligations,” Alford said. “This theme underscores the mental and emotional toll on daughters who had to manage the unpredictable nature of daughtering during the pandemic.” Daughtering is a priority Despite the challenges, Alford said, many daughters reported that they continued to prioritize their daughtering responsibilities, driven by a deep sense of familial duty and personal values. “For these women, daughtering was not just another task but a core part of their identity, often taking precedence over their professional responsibilities,” Alford said. “This commitment was evident in the time and resources they dedicated to maintaining their relationships with their parents, even when it meant sacrificing their own well-being or career advancement.” One participant noted, “I value family, so I still made it a priority,” reflecting a sentiment shared by many women in the study. This theme, Alford noted, highlights the internal conflict that many daughters faced, balancing their dedication to family with the competing demands of their own lives. Daughtering involves reflecting Challenges prompt many daughters to reflect deeply on their roles and relationships, and the COVID-19 pandemic was no different, Alford said. “This period of social upheaval generated a moment of introspection, leading daughters to reassess their priorities, boundaries and the nature of their relationships with their parents,” she said. “For some, this reflection led to a greater appreciation for the importance of family, while for others, it was a time to set new boundaries and redefine their roles within the family structure.” One participant observed, “COVID was a catalyst for emotional support,” while another reflected on the need to “carve out time mentally” to fulfill her roles as both a daughter and a professional. This theme illustrates how the pandemic not only challenged daughters but also provided an opportunity for personal growth and redefinition of their familial roles, Alford said. Key strategies to recognizing daughters’ “invisible” labor The research underscores the critical need for greater recognition and support for the invisible labor performed by adult daughters, suggesting that both families and society at large have a role to play in alleviating the burden on these women. “It’s crucial that we not only acknowledge the burden placed on these women, “Alford said, “but also seek ways to support them, whether through family empathy, shared responsibilities or societal recognition.” Alford emphasizes the importance of three key strategies: Awareness and acknowledgment Families should recognize the labor involved in daughtering and ensure it is acknowledged and appreciated. This can help prevent the exploitation of this labor and ensure that daughters feel valued for their contributions. Outsourcing and support Where possible, families should consider outsourcing some care tasks or providing additional support to relieve the burden on daughters. This might include hiring help for household chores or seeking external emotional support through counseling. Expressing gratitude Expressing gratitude and acknowledging the efforts of daughters can significantly enhance their sense of well-being and fulfillment. This recognition is vital in helping them feel that their contributions are meaningful and valued. National Daughter’s Day National Daughter’s Day is Sept. 25, and while this holiday has been around since 1932 to honor the daughters in our lives, it can often quietly pass us by. Alford recommends parents using this day to officially acknowledge all the ways in which daughters support their families.

Allison Alford, Ph.D.

3 min

The Invisible Labor of Adult Daughters: Baylor Expert Highlights the Valuable Role of Adult ‘Daughtering’

Sept. 25 is National Daughters Day, celebrating adult daughters often overlooked for their role in relationship with parents National Daughters Day is Sept. 25, an oft-overlooked holiday that has been around since 1932. But much like the holiday, adult daughters are often unnoticed for the important role they play in the lives of their parents. Allison M. Alford, Ph.D., clinical associate professor of business communication at Baylor University and co-host of the weekly podcast, “Hello Mother, Hello Daughter,” researches adult daughters and their “invisible labor” in maintaining the unity of a family. Adult daughters find themselves providing support, nurturing and much more in a socially and communicatively constructed, shaped and molded role that includes navigating, responding to and negotiating cultural and familial discourses. These behaviors occur throughout a daughter’s life and represent significant resources funneled toward her parents to maintain and nurture a relationship. Alford’s research on “daughtering” – the active way that daughters relate to and care for parents – is how she describes the work and effort that daughters provide their parents. “It’s that purposeful work that helps relationships flourish but often goes uncredited as work, even by daughters themselves, in part because the efforts are wrapped in misleading language and society hasn’t adopted a lexicon specifically for daughtering,” said Alford, who edited the book, “Constructing Motherhood and Daughterhood Across the Lifespan,” with research partner Michelle Miller-Day, Ph.D., of Chapman University in Orange County, California. Daughtering involves such “invisible labor” as planning and organizing family events, resolving conflicts, acting as a buffer with other family members, preparing for the future and more—with the intent of supporting important family relationships, Alford said. With dashes of “mental load” and “adulting,” thrown in the mix, adult children are engaging in effortful and intense relationship-building, from which they usually benefit in the form of familial support and love. Embracing National Daughters Day In recent years, social media has embraced National Daughters Day with parents posting loving tributes and sharing stories about their daughters, recognition that Alford encourages. “Adult daughters put a lot of effort into their families and recognizing their hard work with praise and affirmation shows that what they do matters. Every daughter would love to hear compliments on her daughtering,” Alford said, recommending that parents take time on Sept. 25 to acknowledge and thank their adult daughters for the care and time they give to the family. A few simple ways parents can acknowledge adult daughters: Call your daughter on the phone and tell her how much her efforts have meant to you, Create a social media tribute and share a picture of yourselves together over the years, Order takeout delivered to her house for dinner, or Call the grandkids and tell them a sweet story about their mom. Also on Sept. 25, Alford and Miller-Day will launch Season 2 of their weekly podcast, “Hello Mother, Hello Daughter,” which continues to explore what it means to be an adult daughter and how daughtering and mothering work together to create a harmonious family. This season, the hosts interview experts on adult mother-daughter relationship topics and share helpful resources that can enable positive family interactions. The podcast will be available everywhere you listen to podcasts. “Hello Mother, Hello Daughter” also is on social media on Instagram and Facebook.

Allison Alford, Ph.D.
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Biography

Dr. Allison M. Alford earned her Ph.D. in Communication Studies with an emphasis in Interpersonal Communication from The University of Texas at Austin in 2016. She also has an M.A. from The University of Texas at Austin in Communication Studies and a B.A. from Texas A&M University in International Studies with minors in French and Public Relations.

She is a Clinical Assistant Professor in Business Communication in the Management Information Systems Department in the Hankamer School of Business.

Allison began Good Talk Communication Consulting in 2016 after 13 years of teaching in colleges and universities, working with students ages 17 to 70, from freshman to graduate students and professionals. She noticed a need from those entering (or returning to) the workforce to polish their communication skills. The best way to fill this need is with one-on-one meetings targeting each person’s goals and abilities. As a consultant, Allison helps clients create big ideas and coaching for interpersonal relationship success. A coaching session or consultation may include writing copy, editing, goal setting, generating ideas, problem-solving, and a lot of listening.

Trained in conflict resolution and teamwork strategies, Allison provides tools and tips through both coaching and workshops to improve the way your group interacts. Not only are these strategies valuable in clients’ personal lives, but additionally many clients have indicated that these skills are the very thing that helps them get ahead and stay ahead in business.

Dr. Alford conducts research on adult daughters and discusses this valuable family role. Dr. Alford advocates for creating and using language that reflects the effort and energy necessary to perform various family roles. In sum, her research shows that daughters are providing support, nurturing, and more, but we cannot call this ‘mothering.’ Instead, she describes the work and effort that daughters provide their mothers as daughtering.

Areas of Expertise

Family & Interpersonal Communication
Mother-Daughter Relationships
Conflict Resolution

Accomplishments

Editor: "Constructing Motherhood and Daughterhood Across the Lifespan"

This book explores the complex dynamics between mother and daughter over the lifespan. The editors believe that these vital family roles are socially and communicatively constructed, shaped, and molded as mothers and daughters navigate, respond to, and negotiate cultural and familial discourses.

Teaching Excellence Award Nominee

Baylor University Hankamer School of Business (2018)

Faculty Honoree

Zeta Tau Alpha annual professor reception (2017)

Education

University of Texas - Austin

Ph.D.

Communication Studies

University of Texas - Austin

M.A.

Communication Studies

Texas A&M University

B.A.

International Studies

Media Appearances

Research highlights the unseen challenges, adaptations of adult daughters during COVID upheaval for families

Phys.org  online

2024-09-22

Allison M. Alford, Ph.D., clinical associate professor of business communication at Baylor, is quoted about her new research on “daughtering” during the pandemic and how social upheavals can both challenge and reinforce the essential work that daughters do in their families.

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How Eldest Daughters Can Start Putting Themselves First - Now

The Skimm  online

2023-12-13

Alison Alford, Ph.D., a clinical associate professor of business communication at Baylor’s Hankamer School of Business, is quoted in this article about the role of eldest daughters within a family unit. Alford actively researches adult daughters and their “invisible labor” in maintaining the unity of a family.

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The Plight of the Eldest Daughter

The Atlantic  online

2023-11-14

Research on adult daughters by Allison Alford, Ph.D., clinical assistant professor of business communication at Baylor, is highlighted in this article about her term “daughtering,” which describes the family work usually taken on by girls. She explains the importance of reevaluating a daughter’s role in the family.

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