An innovative Baylor University study has shed light on the often-overlooked experiences of women doing “daughtering” in families, particularly during the COVID-19 pandemic, which created immense challenges in their relationships with parents and other family members.
“Daughtering” refers to the ways adult daughters contribute to flourishing family relationships, according to Allison M. Alford, Ph.D., clinical associate professor in the Department of Information Systems and Business Analytics in Baylor’s Hankamer School of Business. Alford’s latest research, Daughterwork in Times of Social Upheaval, published in Qualitative Research Reports in Communication, explores how societal changes caused by the pandemic required women to reconfigure their relationships with their parents and emphasizes the critical role adult daughters play in maintaining family connections, particularly in times of crisis.
"This study highlights how social upheavals like the COVID-19 pandemic can both challenge and reinforce the essential work that daughters do in their families," Alford said. “Past research has shown that women often bear the brunt of responsibility when crises occur at home, work or in the extended family. Particularly for professional women – those who are balancing changing workplace demands alongside immediate and extended family concerns as well as societal shifts – increased care needs or the perception of such for parents can increase stress and negatively impact well-being, yet women still persist in providing upstream support for a variety of reasons.”
Using in-depth, semi-structured interviews of women who identified change to their daughtering, professional and family lives, Alford discovered four themes about how a crisis can provide opportunities for flexible daughtering, meaningful connection and reflection on one’s most important relationships.
Daughtering is adaptive action
The pandemic forced many daughters to rapidly adjust their caregiving practices with their parents. When normal forms of communication were not an option, many daughters turned to technology to bridge the gap. This included increased use of video calls, social media, and other digital communication tools to maintain contact and promote family connection.
Alford’s research found that daughters also took on new, often physically demanding tasks to ensure their parents’ well-being – delivering groceries, managing household repairs and organizing virtual family gatherings.
“These actions were not only about adapting to the context of social upheaval but also about intensifying their caring efforts to meet the evolving needs of their parents,” Alford said.
Daughtering is adaptive timing
The study revealed that daughters had to maintain a heightened state of vigilance, constantly prepared to address unexpected crises, Alford said. Unlike the more predictable daughtering routines of the past, the pandemic introduced a level of uncertainty that required daughters to be in a near-constant state of readiness.
One study participant described her experience as being in "constant problem-solving mode," which added significant stress to her daily life.
“This ‘adaptive timing’ meant that daughters often found themselves juggling sudden care demands with their own professional and personal obligations,” Alford said. “This theme underscores the mental and emotional toll on daughters who had to manage the unpredictable nature of daughtering during the pandemic.”
Daughtering is a priority
Despite the challenges, Alford said, many daughters reported that they continued to prioritize their daughtering responsibilities, driven by a deep sense of familial duty and personal values.
“For these women, daughtering was not just another task but a core part of their identity, often taking precedence over their professional responsibilities,” Alford said. “This commitment was evident in the time and resources they dedicated to maintaining their relationships with their parents, even when it meant sacrificing their own well-being or career advancement.”
One participant noted, “I value family, so I still made it a priority,” reflecting a sentiment shared by many women in the study. This theme, Alford noted, highlights the internal conflict that many daughters faced, balancing their dedication to family with the competing demands of their own lives.
Daughtering involves reflecting
Challenges prompt many daughters to reflect deeply on their roles and relationships, and the COVID-19 pandemic was no different, Alford said.
“This period of social upheaval generated a moment of introspection, leading daughters to reassess their priorities, boundaries and the nature of their relationships with their parents,” she said. “For some, this reflection led to a greater appreciation for the importance of family, while for others, it was a time to set new boundaries and redefine their roles within the family structure.”
One participant observed, “COVID was a catalyst for emotional support,” while another reflected on the need to “carve out time mentally” to fulfill her roles as both a daughter and a professional. This theme illustrates how the pandemic not only challenged daughters but also provided an opportunity for personal growth and redefinition of their familial roles, Alford said.
Key strategies to recognizing daughters’ “invisible” labor
The research underscores the critical need for greater recognition and support for the invisible labor performed by adult daughters, suggesting that both families and society at large have a role to play in alleviating the burden on these women.
“It’s crucial that we not only acknowledge the burden placed on these women, “Alford said, “but also seek ways to support them, whether through family empathy, shared responsibilities or societal recognition.”
Alford emphasizes the importance of three key strategies:
Awareness and acknowledgment
Families should recognize the labor involved in daughtering and ensure it is acknowledged and appreciated. This can help prevent the exploitation of this labor and ensure that daughters feel valued for their contributions.
Outsourcing and support
Where possible, families should consider outsourcing some care tasks or providing additional support to relieve the burden on daughters. This might include hiring help for household chores or seeking external emotional support through counseling.
Expressing gratitude
Expressing gratitude and acknowledging the efforts of daughters can significantly enhance their sense of well-being and fulfillment. This recognition is vital in helping them feel that their contributions are meaningful and valued.
National Daughter’s Day
National Daughter’s Day is Sept. 25, and while this holiday has been around since 1932 to honor the daughters in our lives, it can often quietly pass us by. Alford recommends parents using this day to officially acknowledge all the ways in which daughters support their families.
