Ringo Starr Just Turned 85

Thoughts on the Rock & Roll of Growing Older

Jul 14, 2025

6 min

Sue Pimento

Yes, Ringo Starr just turned 85.


Let that sink in.


I read this in the Washington Post and felt like a bag of Beatles vinyl had walloped me. How is this possible? How can the mop-top drummer be 85 when I was dancing to “Yellow Submarine” in bell-bottoms with a brush for a microphone? More urgently: how old does this make me?!


Ringo isn’t slowing down. He’s still touring with two bands, making music, flashing that cheeky Liverpudlian smile, and preaching peace and love as if he’s got nowhere else to be. No plans to retire. No plans to fade away. Just a rockstar with a great attitude... and maybe a titanium hip (unconfirmed).


This made me realize that, as the birthday candles on my cake now need a fire permit, “attitude” plays a huge role in how we age.


Based on the feedback I received from my last post, “What’s Your Brand, Boomer?”, it’s clear that many people are genuinely interested in managing their personal brand as they age. This week, I want to go deeper—because whether you’re 45 or 85, you are Old People in Training. That’s right. Every one of us is aging in real-time, and understanding the stages ahead—either for ourselves or our aging loved ones—helps us walk this path with humour, grace, and fewer surprises.


So, here they are:


The 8 (Unofficial but Uncannily Accurate) Stages of Aging


1. The Stand-Up-and-Forget-Why Stage (Kicks in around mid-to-late 50s)

You walk into a room with purpose, then wonder: was I here to fold laundry, pay a bill, or practice my slow blink? Bonus points if you’re already wearing the glasses you’re hunting for.

How it helps: Eases forgetfulness. It’s not early dementia; it’s early distraction. Keep a notebook or use Voice Memos. Or do what I do: shrug, laugh, and keep walking until something jogs the memory (usually coffee).


2. The “Senior? Not Unless There’s a Discount” Stage (Hits in your early 60s)

You bristle at the word “senior,” unless it saves you $2.50 at the movies or 15% at Shoppers. Suddenly, age becomes a tool, not a label.

How it helps: Celebrate the advantages! You’ve earned them. And remember: owning your age is the new anti-aging remedy. Confidence looks good on everyone. Remember, you are still that age, whether you admit it or not. You might as well save some money!


3. The “Yes, I Really Am That Age” Reminder Stage (Kicks in around 65)

You find yourself saying your age out loud like it’s a riddle. "I’m 65. Sixty-five! Isn’t that wild?" You’re still trying to catch up with the numbers, or maybe you’re worried you’ll forget your age.

How it helps: Accept the number without letting it define you. It’s not a limit — it’s a launchpad. Bonus: Use it as an excuse to do something you’ve always put off.


4. The Replacement Parts Stage (Hits in the early to mid-70s)

Welcome to orthopedic roulette: knees, hips, maybe a shoulder. You collect joint replacements like frequent-flyer miles. Fortunately, modern medicine allows for joint replacements to be performed more quickly than ordering takeout. Still waiting for Staples to offer 3D-printed hips.

How it helps: Embrace science instead of fighting it. Biology always prevails! Mobility equals independence. And nothing embodies “active aging” like beating your grandkids at pickleball with a shiny new titanium knee.


5. The “I’ve Run Out of F*cks to Give” Stage (Kicked in the late 70s into the early 80’s)

You’ve earned the right to speak your mind—and wear socks with sandals. You say what you want, mean what you say, and anyone who doesn’t like it can take a number. Opinions? Too many! Filters? Deleted. Freedom? Glorious. Friends? Running for cover!

How it helps: This is peak freedom. Use it wisely. Advocate, participate, mentor, and model what unapologetic living looks like. You’re the elder statesperson now—be bold, not bitter.


6. The Cataract Conspiracy Stage (Kicks in mid-to-late 70s)

Lights appear like halos, and reading menus becomes an Olympic event. But don’t worry—cataract surgery is so common it’s practically an oil change. And voilà: brighter colours, more precise lines, less squinting. Spoiler Alert: You will now be able to see how poor your housekeeping skills are!

How it helps: Get your eyes checked. Don’t delay. Seeing clearly again can literally brighten your outlook—and maybe even your attitude.


7. The “Say What?” Stage – The Hard-of-Hearing Stage (Late 70’s+)

This one sneaks up like a whisper… which is ironic, because you probably won’t hear it.

At some point, for most of us, hearing begins to decline like old payphones and eight-track tapes. It might start with missing parts of conversations in noisy restaurants or asking people to repeat themselves (just once… or five times). Eventually, it’s full-blown “Say what?” territory.

Many avoid wearing hearing aids because—let’s face it—they feel like a flashing neon sign that says, "I’m old!" But here’s the real issue: pretending to hear is much worse. It can lead to social withdrawal, isolation, and even strained relationships. And we’re not just making this up for dramatic effect—studies at John Hopkins School of Medicine show that untreated hearing loss is linked to a higher risk of dementia, depression, and cognitive decline.  


There’s also the loud TV effect—when your neighbours across the street can hear your Netflix queue, it’s time to see an audiologist, not to mention the safety concern: driving with impaired hearing is risky; sirens, honking horns, or even a warning from a passenger might go unnoticed.

So, if your “What?” count is rising and your TV volume is climbing towards aircraft-engine decibels, take action. Getting your hearing tested doesn’t mean you’re old—it means you’re informed (and honestly, more enjoyable to be around).  Because nothing celebrates “vibrant aging” more than staying connected to the world—and actually hearing it.


Stage 8: The Long Goodbye – When Friends Start to Leave the Stage

I’ve heard from seniors about Stage 8… and without exception, they say it’s one of the toughest parts of aging.  This is the stage when the long goodbye starts—quietly at first, then with increasingly frequent moments. Your phone rings less often. The chairs at the coffee group gradually empty. One day, you realize you’re not just losing friends—you’re outliving them.

It’s part of the circle of life, for sure—but no Lion King soundtrack can ease the heartbreak.


This stage exposes some of our deepest fears:


Will I be next?

Who will mourn me?

Does anyone even know I’m still here?


It’s a time of grief, loneliness, and silent despair. And while you can’t fast-forward through it, you don’t have to walk it alone.


If you’re an “Old Person in Training” (which, reminder: we all are), listen up. This stage isn’t just something that happens to others—it’s your future self, waving from down the road. Learning about it now prepares you to guide others through it with grace and to soften your own landing when the time arrives.


And if someone you love is already there? This is your cue.

Show up. Don’t wait to be invited—grief rarely sends formal RSVPs.  Phrases or clichés like “they’re in a better place” won’t suffice here. These are nothing burgers—all bun, no meat—empty calories in a moment that needs nourishment.


Show up. Stay steady. Be the evidence that they are still recognized, still cared for, still part of something meaningful.  What they truly need is presence, not presents. Time, not timelines. They need to feel they are not alone. Sit with them. Walk with them. Watch Jeopardy in silence if that’s what the day calls for. But whatever you do, don’t disappear.


Because one of the most profound gifts we can give in this stage isn’t a cure—it’s companionship.


Science Confirms It: Attitude Is a Lifespan Strategy


Tongue-in-cheek aside, these aging observations are backed by science:


Positive beliefs about aging can extend life by 7–8.5 years. (Source: PubMed – Levy et al.)


Optimism correlates with lower heart disease, stroke, and a 70% greater likelihood of reaching age 85.  (Source: Harvard Health)


Positive mindset boosts recovery, brain health, and resilience after illness.  (Source: Harvard Health)


So, what can we learn from Ringo?


Keep creating – Music, art, businesses, bad poetry. It keeps the brain limber and the soul alight.

Stay curious – Sign up for that course. Take the trip. Ask questions. Enrol in the MBA. (Looking at you, 69-year-old rockstars.)

Lean into joy – Laugh like nobody’s judging. Dance like your knees aren’t watching.

Surround yourself with good vibes – Optimism costs nothing and glows brighter than Botox.


Remember, it’s not your age—it’s your outlook.


So next time you stand up and forget why you did, just grin and say: ‘I’m aging like a Beatle. Still standing. Still grooving. Still fabulous.”


And if you ever need a pep talk, ask yourself:  “What would Ringo do?”


Don’t’ Retire Re-wire


Sue


Connect with:
Sue Pimento

Sue Pimento

Founder | CEO

Focused on financial literacy and retirement strategies. Authoring new book on home equity strategies to help seniors find financial freedom

Pension ReformInterest RatesHome EquityMortgagesReverse Mortgages

You might also like...

Check out some other posts from Retire with Equity

5 min

Federal Budget 2025: What's In It for Canadian Seniors?

Let's be honest: the word "budget" probably makes you want to take a nap. Or pour a stiff drink. Maybe both. We spent decades pinching pennies, brown-bagging lunches, and watching every dollar so we could finally retire and stop thinking about money every waking minute. Now here I am, telling you to read about a government budget. I know. I'm sorry. But stick with me—I promise to make this as painless (and possibly entertaining) as possible. Why You Should Care About the 2025 Federal Budget (Even If You Really Don't Want To) Some of you hate talking about money. I get it. But here's the thing: information is power, and denial isn't just a river in Africa (give it a second to land)—it creates unnecessary ignorance and real missed opportunities to regain some control over your financial life. Plus, this budget affects your kids and grandkids too. So even if you're sitting pretty, the people you love might not be. The Economy Right Now: A Very Quick Explainer You've probably noticed everything costs more. A lot more. Welcome to inflation, courtesy of today's tariff-happy trade wars. (And if you want a deeper dive into how inflation affects more than just your wallet, check out my earlier piece: "Inflation: It's not just for prices anymore".) Here's the short version: When governments slap tariffs on imported goods (think: "You want to sell your stuff here? Pay up!"), Companies pass those costs directly to you at checkout. Your grocery bill goes up. Your heating costs rise. Even that new garden hose costs more because, apparently, everything comes from somewhere else now. So when you're living on a fixed income—CPP, OAS, maybe some RRIF withdrawals—and prices keep climbing while your income stays flat, that's a problem. A big one. Enter: the federal budget. It's basically Ottawa's financial to-do list: where they'll spend money, what they'll cut, and (theoretically) how they plan to make your life easier. Or at least less expensive. What's Actually In This Federal Budget Thing (The Good Parts Only) I've waded through the charts, jargon, and multi-billion-dollar announcements so you don't have to. Here's what matters to you: 1. Your House: Now it's a Potential ATM Remember when turning your basement into a rental suite sounded expensive and complicated? Ottawa heard you. The Secondary Suite Loan Program is expanded: Borrow up to $80,000 at 2% interest (15-year term) to build a basement apartment, garden suite, or in-law unit.  The refinancing rules are also relaxed: You can now refinance up to 90% of your home's post-renovation value to fund these projects. Translation: You can turn unused space into monthly rental income, house a caregiver, or create a spot for family—all while boosting your property value. It's like your house went to entrepreneurship school. For more on Additional Dwelling Units (ADUs), check out this post. 2. Slightly Less Painful Tax Season Ottawa is cutting the base federal tax rate for modest-income earners and cancelling the consumer carbon price on heating fuels. Translation: If you're still working part-time or living on CPP + OAS + RRIF withdrawals, expect slightly lower deductions and cheaper heating bills starting this winter. We're talking maybe $30–$50 more per month—not a windfall, but enough to buy groceries without wincing at the checkout. 3. Health Care: Maybe, Possibly, Getting Better The budget includes more money for provinces to spend on health care and long-term care reform. The goal? Shorter wait times and expanded home-care programs. Translation: The government says they're helping seniors age at home with dignity. Whether that actually happens depends on your province not blowing the money on consultants and photo ops. Keep your eyes on provincial announcements for new or expanded home-care subsidies. 4. Your Savings: Slightly Less Likely to Evaporate Budget 2025 confirmed Canada has the lowest debt-to-GDP ratio in the G7. They're also cracking down on bank fraud and scams targeting seniors. Translation: Lower national debt helps keep interest rates and inflation under control, protecting the real value of your fixed income. And Ottawa is finally recognizing that scammers love targeting retirees. (If you haven't already, read my piece on The Rise in Grandparent Scams—it's eye-opening.) About time. Watch for my upcoming article on a recent senior scam making the rounds—and my assessment of how banks can do much more to protect seniors.  5. $60 Billion in "Savings" (Don't Panic) You'll hear politicians bragging about cutting $60 billion. Before you worry they're gutting CPP or OAS, relax. They're trimming their own bureaucracy—less middle management, more digital tools, fewer wasteful meetings about meetings. Translation: They're supposedly spending less on themselves so they can spend more on things that matter—like housing, health care, and infrastructure. Whether they actually pull this off remains to be seen, but at least they're talking about it. So What Does All This Actually Mean? Look, I won't pretend this budget is a game-changer. It's not. But it does offer a few smart moves if you're willing to act. And let's remember: this is Carney's first budget. Changing financial policy and spending priorities takes time—and some patience on our part. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is a functional federal budget that actually helps everyday Canadians. Review your home equity. Could an ADU loan help you age in place and generate income? Audit your expenses annually. Cutting $100/month in spending equals roughly $1,500 in pre-tax income. That's real money. Stay vigilant against scams. Government protection is nice, but it starts with you not clicking sketchy emails and text messages. Ask about tax credits. Low-income seniors may qualify for increased refundable credits under provincial top-ups this year. This isn't a flashy budget. There are no big checks in the mail. But it does signal a shift toward pragmatism: help Canadians stay housed, healthy, and financially secure while Ottawa tightens its own belt. For Canadians 55+, that means: Slightly lower everyday costs More options to create income from your home Continued investment in health and home care A more stable economy to protect your savings Progress? Maybe. One cautious, bureaucratic step at a time. Your Next Move Take 30 minutes this week to think through how these programs could fit into your life. Could an ADU loan make aging in place possible? Could refinancing free up cash flow? Small adjustments now = big peace of mind later. And that's what being hit, fit, and financially free is all about. And hey—you just read an entire article about a government budget. Voluntarily. That deserves recognition. Go ahead, brag about it. You've earned it. Now go enjoy your retirement. You've definitely earned that too. Sue Don’t Retire…Re-Wire!!!

7 min

Why Brokers Are Canada’s New Mortgage Rockstars

There’s a quiet revolution happening in Canadian mortgage lending—well, as “quiet” as anything can be when two-thirds of Canadians are shouting, “We’d rather deal with a broker than a bank!” According to the most recent Mortgage Professionals Canada (MPC) Consumer Survey, 67% of Canadians now say they’d rather work with a mortgage broker than a bank. Among those who already have? A whopping 81% would do it again. That’s not just a statistic. That’s a standing ovation. The Great Mortgage Broker Boom According to recent MPC data, broker market share reached 33% in 2024—a four-point increase in just two years. Nearly half of all borrowers now choose brokers. The message is clear: Canadians are tired of sales reps; they want advocates who speak human, not policy manual. And who can blame them? With 1.2 million mortgages renewing in 2025 and average payments increasing by $513 a month, people aren’t just rate-shopping anymore—they’re seeking guidance, reassurance, and maybe a bit of hope. Let’s face it: they want their cake and still be able to heat their home too. Why This Matters—Especially for Seniors I work with Canadians aged 55+ every day, and about three-quarters of them are homeowners. They’ve done everything right: worked hard, paid off debt, raised families, and built wealth through their homes. But now, many feel… trapped by them. Here’s the reality: Mortgage renewals are costing hundreds more monthly (some facing 15–20% jumps) Inflation is eating into fixed incomes; and downsizing, aging in place, or tapping into home equity all feel like high-stakes decisions. Almost 80% of Canadians over 55 say their savings and pensions aren’t enough. (Source: Home Equity Bank Ipsos Survey) According to this same survey, half of respondents believe home equity is crucial for retirement—yet 76% feel pressured to downsize even if they’d rather not trade their garden for a balcony (or their favourite hairdresser for whoever’s closest to the condo). What they don’t need: A one-size-fits-all sales pitch from someone who thinks “retirement” means early-bird specials and Sudoku marathons. What they do need: A mortgage broker who listens, educates, compares options, and helps them sleep at night—not just sign on the dotted line. The Missing Link: Transactional vs. Conversion Sales Traditional mortgages are what we call commodities, sold using a transactional method. In this approach, the need is obvious—the customer wants a mortgage—and the focus is on competing for the best price and terms. It’s fast, efficient, and, let’s be honest, a little impersonal. It’s the classic hammer-and-nail approach: every client looks like a nail, and the broker just keeps swinging rates and terms until something sticks. That may work for a first-time buyer chasing the cheapest five-year fix—but for seniors? It’s about as effective as putting a Band-Aid on a broken arm. The 55+ demographic doesn’t want a hammer. They want a conversation. They want to understand how to stretch their pension income, cover rising expenses, and prepare for life’s curveballs—like healthcare costs or home repairs—without feeling like they’re going backwards financially. That’s why this is not a transactional sale; it’s a conversion sale. A transactional sale happens when someone already wants what you’re selling—you’re just facilitating the purchase. A conversion sale, however, is when the client doesn’t yet believe they need or want what you’re offering. You’re not closing a deal; you’re changing a mindset. And that’s the secret sauce for brokers working with older Canadians. You’re not selling debt—you’re offering financial flexibility. You’re helping people reframe home equity from a “last resort” into a retirement resource. How Brokers Can Shift the Conversation Lead with empathy, not economics. Ask about life goals, not loan size. Do they want to age in place, help kids, or reduce financial stress? Start with why, then move to how. Rebrand the conversation. Words matter. “Mortgage” can feel like failure. Try “home-equity strategy” or “retirement cash-flow plan.” You’re not adding debt—you’re unlocking options. Talk cash flow, not contracts. Focus on income versus expenses, inflation resilience, and emergencies. Discuss how home equity can supplement pensions, create predictable, guaranteed income (like our parents had), and—most importantly—boost that all-important sleep score. Include the family. Adult children often play a major role. Involve them early—these are emotional, multi-generational conversations, not just financial ones. Educate, don’t sell. Show examples, calculators, and real-life case studies. Transparency earns trust—and trust is the true currency in a conversion sale. When brokers shift from “rate pitching” to “retirement planning,” they go from hammer-swingers to problem-solvers—and that’s where the real magic (and business growth) happens. What Mortgage Brokers Bring to the Table The broker market is projected to grow at a 5% CAGR through 2030, driven by consumers demanding personalization over cookie-cutter lending. And the reverse-mortgage space just got a serious glow-up. Home Trust Bank has just entered the market, announcing its new Equity Access Reverse Mortgage product at this week's Mortgage Professionals Conference in Ottawa. That brings the total to four active lenders in Canada’s reverse-mortgage space: HomeEquity Bank, Equitable Bank, Home Trust Bank, and Bloom Finance Company. More lenders mean more credibility—or, as I like to call it, street cred for seniors. The kind that lets retirees walk down the street (or the fairway) with a little swagger, knowing their financial toolkit has options. With more players in the mix comes more choice, sharper pricing, and—most importantly—a sense that reverse mortgage products have finally crossed over from “fringe” to financially fashionable.  Reverse mortgages are no longer the “we-don’t-talk-about-that” cousin at the financial family dinner—they’re sitting proudly at the adult table. The product is being normalized—treated as the legitimate, strategic retirement tool it has always been. So, brokers—be honest. Isn’t it time you caught up to the trend? Reverse mortgages have gone from taboo to totally credible. And if your clients still say, “We’re just not reverse-mortgage people,” that’s your cue to help them unpack that posture of financial marginalization. Because what they often mean is, “We don’t want to feel old, desperate, or dependent.” That’s not who they are—and that’s not what this product is. It’s not about retreating; it’s about reframing. Helping them see home equity as strength, not surrender. Because empowering clients to live comfortably, confidently, and cash-flow secure isn’t just good business—it’s the kind of advocacy that gives everyone involved a little swagger. Older Canadians Need Advocates—Not Just Advisors As a spokesperson for this group, I urge brokers to master Equity Literacy—the ability to explain complex tools like reverse mortgages and HELOCs in plain language. It’s about helping retirees access equity wisely, preserve benefits, and create peace of mind. Canadian reverse-mortgage debt reached $8.2 billion in mid-2024—an 18.3% year-over-year increase. (Source: Office of the Superintendent of Financial Institutions - OSFI). Canadians are catching on: their house can help them, not haunt them (could not resist the Halloween joke). Help seniors understand the range of uses for Reverse Mortgages like paying off high-interest debt, helping family through early inheritance or gifting, and supplementing retirement income to maintain independence. And here’s where brokers can really shine—by guiding family conversations about inheritance, housing, and aging in place. According to CMHC’s 2025 Mortgage Consumer Survey, 41% of first-time buyers used a gift or inheritance to cover mortgage costs.  That's up from 30% the year before. Those gifts averaged nearly $80,000. The Bank of Mom & Dad just got promoted to Wealth Management HQ. To the Canadian mortgage broker industry You’re not just in the mortgage business—you’re in the dignity business. You help Canadians stay in their homes, reduce stress, and live comfortably in retirement. With home sales slowing and fewer purchase deals, this is your moment. Building expertise in the 55+ market isn’t just good karma—it’s good business. How to start: educate your database about equity-release benefits and tax-free cash flow; host workshops on “Aging in Place with Equity”; partner with financial planners, lawyers, healthcare providers—and yes, Realtors—to build a holistic approach to retirement housing. Involve adult children in every conversation; they’re tomorrow’s clients. The data says Canadians need you more than ever. And I’ll say it louder: so do I. Let’s make retirement planning better, smarter, and more human—one conversation at a time. So here’s the truth: the 55+ crowd doesn’t need rescuing—they need respect. They’re not clinging to the past; they’re funding their future. They don’t want pity; they want power—and they’ve earned it. This generation built Canada’s equity base—literally—and now it’s time they get to use it wisely, proudly, and on their own terms. Whether that means a new roof, a family gift, or finally taking that long-postponed trip to Italy, it’s not about borrowing money—it’s about buying freedom. So, brokers, financial pros, and anyone guiding retirees—remember: your role isn’t to sell products. It’s to spark possibilities. To help older Canadians move from fear to freedom, from “we’re not those people” to “why didn’t we do this sooner?” Because the real revolution in retirement isn’t about rates or renewals. It’s about reclaiming confidence, creating financially viable futures, and knowing you’ve made a real difference—something your clients will remember long after the ink dries. Trust me, that’s far more gratifying than handing out a 4.99% five-year fixed. I want to know what you think.  Send me your feedback.  Want more insights like this? Subscribe to my free newsletter here, where I share practical strategies, real-world stories, and straight talk about navigating retirement with confidence—not confusion. Plus, all subscribers get exclusive early access to advance chapters from my upcoming book. For Canadians 55+: Get actionable advice on making your home equity work for you, understanding your options, and living retirement on your terms. For Mortgage Brokers and Financial Professionals: Learn how to become the trusted advisor your 55+ clients desperately need (and will refer to everyone they know). This isn't just another revenue stream—it's your opportunity to build lasting relationships in Canada's fastest-growing demographic. Sue Don’t Retire…Re-Wire!

6 min

Who Decided 50 Means Beige Pants?

Recently, I was invited to my friend Paul's 80th birthday party. To his credit, he did it up right. We all dressed in an '80s theme, danced to '80s music, and he even hired a Michael Jackson impersonator. It was a blast—and it got me thinking. Why do we treat milestone birthdays as such big moments? And what flashes in your head when you read "80th birthday"? A rocking dance floor—or a rocking chair? The Big Deal About Big Birthday Numbers Somewhere along the way, we decided that birthdays ending in zero were cosmic mile-markers. Turn 50? Buy beige pants. Turn 70? Slow down. Turn 80? Put away your passport. Really? Who wrote this memo—and why weren't we asked to edit it? Here's the truth: age is a marker, not a mandate. You don't "have to" start coasting at 50. You might actually be hitting your stride. At 70, maybe you're still climbing mountains (literal or metaphorical). At 80, maybe it's not about stopping travel but upgrading to business class—because you've earned the legroom. The Year Before: A Release Valve Melissa Kirsch recently pointed out something fascinating in her recent New York Times article, "Banner Year: The Year Before a Milestone (39, 59, 79) Often Carries More Anticipation and Anxiety Than the Milestone Itself.  You're approaching the summit," full of pent-up energy and maybe even dread. And then you get there—and it's oddly a relief. You've crested the hill. The anticipation is gone. You're not nearing 70 anymore—you are 70. Sometimes naming the number feels like releasing a pressure valve. The Psychology of Birthday Milestones Humans love structure. We love mental reset buttons—New Year's Day, Mondays, and yes, milestone birthdays. Psychologists refer to it as the "fresh start effect." It's why we so often decide to start new habits after birthdays or holidays. But here's where it gets tricky: we often judge our progress against societal norms we've internalized without question. Be married by 30. Have kids by 40—career set by 50. Start winding work down by 60. Head to the bleachers by 70—health issues by 80. You get the point. These invisible benchmarks can make milestone birthdays feel less like celebrations and more like report cards. Instead of asking "What awed me this decade?" we ask "Why haven't I achieved X by now?" UC Berkley, Psychologist Dacher Keltner, in his book titled Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder, reminds us that awe is a muscle we can develop through experiences such as music, nature, crowds, or small acts of gratitude. What if we countered our harsh self-judgments with awe instead? What if milestone birthdays became moments to marvel at what we've experienced rather than tally what we haven't accomplished? Instead of seeing milestones as end points, why not use them as launchpads? At 50, instead of coasting, maybe you finally train for that half-marathon—or half-marathon Netflix binge—both count. At 70, you don't have to slow down—you might adjust the pace. Hike the mountain, but pack the good snacks. At 80, don't stop travelling—travel better. Upgrade your flight, book the tour guide, or better yet, let your grandkids carry the luggage. Milestones are invitations, not limitations. The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Age What we whisper to ourselves about aging matters. A lot! Psychologist Robert Merton coined the now infamous term "self-fulfilling prophecy": hold an expectation, behave as though it's true, and—voilà—it becomes true. Becca Levy's Stereotype Embodiment Theory at Yale demonstrates how cultural age stereotypes become internalized, ultimately affecting our physical, cognitive, and psychological well-being. Decades of research confirm it: people who view aging positively live 7.5 years longer on average than those who don't. Your expectations are literally a health factor.  So when we tell ourselves "70 means slowing down," guess what? We often slow down. But if we say, "70 means redirecting my energy," the body and mind rise to meet it. Real-Life Icons Who Didn't Get the Memo Need proof? Could you just look around? Barbara Walters retired at 84 and lived to 93. Andy Rooney continued to share his witty commentaries on 60 Minutes until the age of 92. Grandma Moses began painting in her 70s and built an entire art career. Laura Ingalls Wilder published her first Little House book in her 60s. Benjamin Franklin produced much of his most famous work after the age of 50.  These aren't exceptions. They're reminders that energy, purpose, and influence aren't tied to the number of candles. Beyond Decades: Other Ways of Marking Time Why are we so obsessed with zero-ending birthdays? Some ancient Greek philosophers suggested dividing life into seven-year stages. Other traditions slice life into "seasons" or chapters. Victor Hugo famously quipped: "Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age." I'd add: "Seventy is the mischievous middle age of wisdom, and eighty the encore tour." We may need to stop seeing decades as finish lines and start seeing them as chapters. The real story isn't the number—it's how you're writing the next page. Routines, Rituals, Traditions As I reflected on Paul's 80th birthday, I realized that birthdays are part of a bigger theme: how we structure our lives. We often use "routine," "ritual," and "tradition" interchangeably—but they aren't the same. Routines ground us—morning coffee, workouts, journaling. They stabilize our health and cater to every age group. These predictable patterns provide comfort, calmness, and a sense of direction. They're the scaffolding that holds our days together, especially during times of uncertainty or transition. And here's something beautiful: the best way to support someone older in your life is to make connection a routine. Tuesdays on the telephone with Toonie. Jeopardy on Wednesday with Gram. Sunday brunch with Dad. These aren't just nice gestures—they're anchors. They say "you matter" in the most reliable way possible: showing up, predictably, with love. Rituals connect us to meaning—lighting a candle, walking at dusk. They remind us of our values and create moments of intention in our lives. Rituals transform ordinary acts into sacred pauses. Traditions connect us to community—holiday dinners, family reunions. But some age as well as polyester leisure suits—time to remix them. Traditions connect us to community—holiday dinners, family reunions. But some age as well as polyester leisure suits—time to remix them. The key is to keep what serves us: comfort, connection, and a sense of continuity. However, we should abandon the "I should have accomplished X by now" narrative and replace it with one of celebration and gratitude. Ask not "Am I where society says I should be?" but rather "Am I building a life that feels meaningful to me?" One of my favourite traditions comes from Denmark: on birthdays, the Danish flag is placed at the celebrant's place setting. It's a small gesture, but it turns an ordinary meal into a moment of honour. Sometimes it's the little flags, not the giant balloons, that matter most. Practical Tips (With a Wink) Write Your Own Script: Stop asking, "What should I be doing at this age?" Ask instead, "What do I want to be doing?" Shrink the Feast, Keep the Fun: Big productions can be scaled down into smaller, more frequent micro-celebrations. Take a page from Frank Sinatra and do it "my way." Invest in Memories, Not More Stuff: Hot-air balloon ride VS another knick-knack. Say Yes First, Edit Later: Pickleball at 75? Say yes. Forget your shoes later. Celebrate in Advance: Start the party a month early. Stretch the milestone like an all-inclusive buffet.  Here's a thought: the older we get—whether it's 80, 90, or more—the more we should celebrate. Why restrict joy to just one day? Turn it into a birthday week. Or even better, a birthday month. We've earned it. A Toast to Us Milestone birthdays aren't warnings to slow down; they're reminders to cherish the present. They're reminders to double down. They're invitations to rewrite rituals, remix goals, and re-ignite purpose. If younger generations can say "live your best life," then let's steal that line and run with it (but don't break a hip). At every age, every stage, we can choose growth over decline, curiosity over fear, and why over why not. So the next time you're invited to an 80th birthday, picture the dance floor, not the rocking chair. Paul sure did. When I asked what's next, he smiled and said: "Finding ways to make it to 90!" Raise a glass and repeat after me: "If not now…when?" Because we're not over the hill—we're still building trails on it, with snacks. Sue Don't Retire... ReWire!

View all posts