Navigating Grief During the Holiday Season

Baylor experts suggest four strategies to help deal with grief and difficult emotions during the holidays

Dec 6, 2025

4 min

Candi Cann, Ph.D.




The holiday season is a time of joy, togetherness and celebration, but for many – especially those who are grieving the death of a loved one or a deep loss – it can bring a complex mix of emotions, ranging from sadness and sorrow to gratitude and joy.


Baylor University professors Candi Cann, Ph.D., a death scholar and associate professor of religion in the Honors College, and Jo-Ann Tsang, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher and associate professor of psychology, offer four strategies for people experiencing difficult emotions and grief during the holidays.


Embrace the spectrum of emotions

Both Tsang and Cann say the key to maintaining balance and authenticity – even while deep in grief – is understanding and accepting where you are emotionally.


“It’s possible and normal to feel different emotions at one time,” Tsang said. “You can feel happiness during the holidays, but also sad that you miss someone who you wish were present. Being grateful does not rule out feeling other emotions; we can cultivate gratitude, but that does not necessitate running away from other emotions.”


Cann pointed out that grief can be complicated if the death or loss is from a difficult relationship.


“It is okay to feel relief in addition to grief and it is important to validate all of your feelings – it’s a complicated grief because it was a complicated relationship,” Cann said.


The importance of self-care

Self-care is vital during this time, Cann said. She encourages grieving people to stay active, eat healthy, go outside to be in nature and get enough sleep.


“It’s totally normal to need more sleep when you're depressed and grieving. You just have to be gracious with yourself about that,” Cann said.


Allowing ourselves to feel emotions like stress, sadness or grief gives us insight into what we value and “can motivate us to take some time for self-care,” Tsang said. Acknowledging that we are stressed might lead us to reach out to others for help with tasks that overwhelm us or to let go of things to reduce stress.


In addition to taking care of your physical health, staying engaged in your community or church and being in community with others is beneficial for mental health, Cann said. But at the same time, be honest with yourself about what you want to do and only accept invitations or participate in activities that you feel you can handle, she added.


The place of gratitude

Tsang suggests approaching challenging emotions with gratitude as it “might also provide context and perspective for our loss and potentially transform our negative emotions.”


“As an example, I might feel frustrated that I am sad but then feel grateful that I have good family and neighbors to check on me and coworkers to help me finish the tasks that I can’t do while I’m down,” Tsang said. “This gratitude might help reduce my frustration by helping me see the support that is present in my life, on which I had not previously reflected.”


At the same time, she reiterated that, in addition to cultivating gratitude, it’s important for people to permit themselves to experience negative emotions such as grief and sadness in response to life circumstances.


“It’s okay if it’s hard to experience gratitude. God meets us where we are,” Tsang said.


Evaluate traditions and embrace memories

Cann suggests evaluating family traditions, choosing those that are most important to continue and starting new traditions that include their loved one.


“A lot of people feel like when that person is gone, the love is gone too, but the love is still there,” Cann said. “You wouldn't feel the grief or the big hole that you now have if you didn't have all of this love in the first place.”


She suggests embracing their loved one’s presence by including a place at the table for Christmas dinner, making their favorite recipe or finding other ways to continue the bonds. By doing these things, “you're including them in your conversation, and you're making space for that person, both literally and symbolically,” Cann said.


Supporting someone who is grieving

Being supportive of someone grieving requires patience and vulnerability.


“Engage with the person and ask how you can best support them, and let them know that you are thinking about them during this time,” Cann said.


Sometimes, friends or family members don’t want to bring up death during the holidays because they don't want to make people sad at a joyful time.


“But the point is, they already are sad, so bringing it up allows them to express it” and feel accepted in their pain, Cann said.


It also is important to remember that not all grief is related to death. There are many types of loss that people experience such as divorce or disease. The Baylor researchers note that we can’t decide or predict what defines another person's grief, but we can offer love and support.


Approaching the holidays when experiencing grief over a death or a deep loss may be painful at first, but using these strategies can help us face the future by celebrating with gratitude what we had in the past.


Ultimately, the holidays are a time for reflection, connection and self-compassion. Allow yourself to feel your emotions fully – whether joyful, challenging or a mix of both – and use them as guides for meaningful action.


Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply click on the expert's icon below or contact: Shelby Cefaratti-Bertin today.

Connect with:
Candi Cann, Ph.D.

Candi Cann, Ph.D.

Professor, Baylor Interdisciplinary Core

Leading expert on death, dying & grief, diversity in death & the intersection of death & technology around the world

Digital Death and AfterlifeDeath and TechnologyModern Mourning Practices
Powered by

You might also like...

Check out some other posts from Baylor University

Go Outside and Play: The Benefits of Outdoor Play for All Ages featured image

4 min

Go Outside and Play: The Benefits of Outdoor Play for All Ages

The simple act of playing outside offers a multitude of interconnected benefits, profoundly enhancing physical, mental and cognitive well-being. Healthy living expert Renée Umstattd Meyer, Ph.D., professor of public health in Baylor University’s Robbins College of Health and Human Sciences, recommends making outdoor play a regular part of your family’s routine, especially during the summertime when kids are out of school and schedules are typically lighter. “Being outdoors is an equalizer, or at least it can be. Nature offers a lot of opportunities, and there are benefits to all types of being outside, whether it be yards, parks or driveways bordered by trees,” Umstattd Meyer said. “Going outdoors does not require a sign-up fee or certain types of equipment; it is just there waiting for visitors.” Umstattd Meyer’s research focuses on promoting health and access to opportunities for healthy living through an active living lens by collaborating to foster healthy and active opportunities and lifestyles for all people. The benefits of simply being outside, she says, increase through the combination of five factors: movement, connection with nature, connection with others, a reset from busy school schedules and a sense of community. Movement Outdoor play gets kids moving, which inspires creativity, critical thinking and exploration. And research bears that out, Umstattd Meyer said, showing that exercise and physical activity, even in relatively shorter bouts, help with concentration, problem-solving, learning and memory. “Being outdoors beckons us to move our bodies, for kids to run, cartwheel, spin and twirl, play chase, build pill-bug houses, chase lightning bugs, start a pick-up game, and for adults, to walk, exercise, play with our kids, pull a few weeds out of a flower bed, plant and tend to a vegetable, herb or flower garden,” she said. Summertime Safety While playing outside comes with numerous benefits, Umstattd Meyer says a few simple steps will help families safely manage higher temperatures, sun exposure and those pesky mosquitoes: Find time for outdoor play during the cooler times of day. Make sure to have plenty of water and shade available. It's okay to take a break! Use sunscreen and mosquito repellent – reapply as needed. Connection with nature Time outdoors offers well-documented physical and mental benefits, increases awareness and can evoke a sense of environmental stewardship, Umstattd Meyer said. “Just being in nature, whatever the nature might be, from a driveway with a little green around it to local parks, offers those same benefits and connection,” she said. Connection with others Spending time outside also helps people reconnect and step away from the number of devices and screens that contribute to feelings of loneliness and isolation. “Outdoor play also allows opportunities for connection with others, from family members and friends to neighbors,” Umstattd Meyer said. “It provides time and space for adults to connect with others as well, to build relationships, familiarity and trust.” Reset from the schedules Summer play can provide a break from the structured routines of the school year, but Umstattd Meyer said that it requires intentionality. “Taking a break from the planned and orchestrated schedules and demands of the school year and associated stressors, along with a break from screens and devices, will actually foster curiosity and creative thought, opportunities for critical analysis and awareness of caring for our natural surroundings and the environment,” she said. Fosters a sense of community Outdoor play not only benefits children’s health and development, but it also creates natural opportunities for families to build connections and strengthen neighborhood relationships, Umstattd Meyer said. “Being outside with our kids gives us the opportunity to say hello and get to know our neighbors,” she said. “It also allows for parents to become more comfortable with their kids being outside while becoming more acquainted with neighbors, to build confidence that their kids are capable of exploring their surroundings and the outdoors.” Umstattd Meyer encourages everyone to find outdoor spaces and engage in play, which can be planned or spontaneous and is freely chosen at any age. “Play is pursued for enjoyment and recreation rather than serving a serious or practical purpose and enhances health, happiness and quality of life,” Umstattd Meyer said. While technology has improved people’s daily lives, it also has contributed to reduced social connection and engagement with the natural world, she said. At the same time, Americans of all ages are experiencing higher levels of stress and anxiety over demands for higher productivity and achievement. “I encourage each of us to create the time to enjoy nature and plan for ways to regularly engage in outside play in a way that allows you to connect with others and physically move your body,” Umstattd Meyer said. National Play Outside Day The first Saturday of every month marks National Play Outside Day, when people of all ages are encouraged to set their screens and devices aside and head outdoors with friends and families to play together, enjoy nature and discover the multiple benefits of play. Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply contact: Shelby Cefaratti-Bertin at Shelby_Cefaratti@baylor.edu today.

Family Reunion Month: Seven Simple Tips to Begin Recording Your Family’s Oral History featured image

4 min

Family Reunion Month: Seven Simple Tips to Begin Recording Your Family’s Oral History

When families gather together for vacations and reunions, they are often regaled with tales about an older relative’s fascinating life story or firsthand experience as an eyewitness to history. So how do you capture and preserve those precious memories? Historians with Baylor University’s renowned Institute for Oral History, home of the national Oral History Association as well as its regional affiliate Texas Oral History Association, have recorded and preserved oral history memoirs of individuals since 1970. Stephen Sloan and Adrienne Cain Darough Stephen Sloan, Ph.D., IOH director, professor of history and executive director of the national OHA, and Adrienne Cain Darough, M.L.S., assistant director and clinical associate professor, share seven simple best practices to help family members begin oral history conversations that enrich recollections of the past. Seven best practices for family oral history conversations 1. Make sure your family member wants their story to be documented or recorded. That's a very important question to ask ahead of time, Cain said. “Many oral historians have run into the spot where, ‘Oh, my grandpa would be great,’ and you get there and it's like, ‘Grandpa does not want to talk to you.’ So first making sure that they want their story recorded.” 2. Determine the type of recording equipment you want to use. Decide if you want to record your interview with an audio recorder or using a video recording device. The Institute for Oral History offers a helpful resource on choosing the right digital recorder for your needs and comfort level. 3. Do some advance research about your family member’s life and their timeline to help you formulate your questions. You can't just put down a recorder in front of someone and say, "Talk." Are there specific things that you want to know? For example, would your family member recall a specific time in their life or a moment in history that affected them? What were they like in high school and what were things they enjoyed doing? Did they serve in the military? “Doing your research to try to form those questions will help you get around what I will say is the reluctance to talk sometimes,” Cain said. “The favorite thing that I love to hear is, ‘Oh, I don't have much to say,’ or ‘I'm not that important.’ And then you sit down with them, and you listen to their stories, and your mind is just blown by the things that they've seen and experienced.” 4. Ask open-ended questions without making any assumptions. With oral history, Sloan said it’s important not to go into the interview with a specific agenda and try to lead anyone to a certain conclusion. “We can do this very subtly by assuming information, but I can't assume that their experience with that topic is X. That could have been very far from how they encountered whatever event that may have been,” Sloan said. “I've got to allow them to relate to me the ways in which they lived these experiences.” 5. Start with the basics, such as “Where are you from?” When Sloan, Cain and their oral history colleagues conduct an interview on any given topic, they generally begin with some life history of the subject, providing important context for historians. “Ask questions early on that are easy for them to answer: a little bit of the backstory, a little bit of where they're from, where they grew up,” Sloan said. “I want to understand the lens through which they experienced events, and the only way I can do that is, who was this? What was formative in their life growing up? Who spoke into who they were? What did they learn? Where did they go? What did they do? Those are the sorts of things that I would be exploring early in the interview.” One of the questions Cain enjoys asking is, “What did you want to be when you grew up?” There is the standard answer, but she notes that there’s often something that happened that may have changed that trajectory. “You want to give them something that's very easy and comfortable to talk about,” Cain said. “What was your favorite subject, just to see if that was something that continued on in their life. If there's a certain hobby or something that you know they're affiliated with, when did you learn about that? Tell me more. What's your interest in this? And then they'll get to talking.” 6. Make sure you are listening, an important facet of gathering oral history. When conducting an oral history interview, you are not only listening for what they're saying, you're also listening for what they're not saying, Cain said. “Are there things that are being skipped around?” Cain said. “For example, sometimes when you're talking to veterans about their combat experience, they need time. There may be some things they have seen and that may be the first time they're reliving or retelling these stories. And you just have to be prepared for that.” 7. Be patient. It might take your subject some time to warm up to the conversation. Patience is a virtue in oral history interviewing. “If you're talking to someone who is 80, 90 or even 100, that's a lot of memories that they have to go through, so patience is important,” Cain said. Oral History Resources LISTEN: Dr. Stephen Sloan and Adrienne Cain Darough join the Baylor Connections Podcast to share more about preserving oral histories while offering tips for individuals seeking to preserve the stories of family or friends. FREE RESOURCES: Baylor’s Institute for Oral History provides free oral history resources on the IOH website. Get best practices on oral history interviewing, project planning and organization, transcribing interviews, protecting and preserving recordings and conducting phone or Zoom oral history interviews. Looking to know more or arrange an interview with the experts? Simply contact: Shelby Cefaratti-Bertin at Shelby_Cefaratti@baylor.edu today.

Bug Off: Why Some People Are More Attractive to Mosquitoes featured image

3 min

Bug Off: Why Some People Are More Attractive to Mosquitoes

Summer means mosquitoes, and with more of the pesky insects buzzing around, more people are grappling with mosquito bites and their consequences, ranging from an itchy inconvenience to serious health risks from vector-borne diseases. If it seems like mosquitoes bite you more than others, you may be right, according to Baylor University mosquito expert Jason Pitts, Ph.D. It simply may come down to how you smell. An associate professor of biology and director of Baylor’s Biology of Global Health 4+1 Program, Pitts focuses his research on mosquitoes and their complex odor-receptors, or sense of smell, to better understand how they locate food sources crucial to survival and reproduction. His impactful work is helping develop new mosquito control methods, which ultimately could lead to a decrease in vector-borne disease transmission around the world. “Many insects find their way around the world through their sense of smell, even more than vision,” Pitts said. “Mosquitoes and other insects really are adept at finding places to lay their eggs, finding flowers on which to feed or finding people on which to blood feed just by the sense of smell.” A mosquito’s strong sense of smell is critical to its survival. While all mosquitoes feed from nectar, only females bite humans and other mammals. They need the blood to support egg development in reproduction, and they rely heavily on scent to locate a host, Pitts said. “As we sweat, we emit volatile odors – or strong smells – which can be very attractive to mosquitoes,” Pitts said, adding that these odors include carboxylic acids, a key component in human sweat, which vary from person to person and can determine how appealing someone is to mosquitoes. Mosquitoes detect these chemicals in a similar way to how humans process smells. Humans have nerves in their nasal passages that, if tuned, will send signal receptors to the brain – the same process for mosquitoes, guiding them toward a potential meal, Pitts said. Because of their efficiency in locating human hosts, mosquitoes are considered to be the deadliest creatures in the world, responsible for more than 700,000 deaths each year from vector-borne diseases they transmit, including yellow fever, Zika, dengue, malaria and West Nile virus. Four D’s of mosquito prevention Whether you are a favorite meal among mosquitoes or not, Pitts recommends following the “Four D’s” of preventing mosquito breeding and bites – Dress, Drain, DEET and Dusk/Dawn. Dress Mosquitoes are attracted to darker colors, so wear light-colored, loose-fitting, long-sleeved shirts and long pants to protect yourself from potential bites. Drain The most important thing anyone can do is to reduce breeding sources for mosquitoes by draining stagnant water. If you have standing water in any kind of container in your yard, get in the habit of emptying those containers, including children’s swimming pools, which should be emptied at least once a week. Defend with DEET The most effective repellent is EPA-approved DEET (N-Diethyl-meta-toluamide). “Once a mosquito lands on the skin, they taste the skin to decide whether this is a good host or not,” Pitts said. “They can actually taste DEET, which is a long-range repellent. They can smell it and avoid it. When they taste it, they will also fly away.” Dusk / Dawn Mosquitoes are more active at dusk and at dawn, when the sun is rising or setting. Avoiding these times will help you avoid bites. If you like to take a morning run or walk at dusk, make sure to apply DEET repellent and wear light-colored clothing. Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply click on the icon below and connect with the expert.

View all posts