Navigating Grief During the Holiday Season

Baylor experts suggest four strategies to help deal with grief and difficult emotions during the holidays

Dec 6, 2025

4 min

The holiday season is a time of joy, togetherness and celebration, but for many – especially those who are grieving the death of a loved one or a deep loss – it can bring a complex mix of emotions, ranging from sadness and sorrow to gratitude and joy.

Baylor University professors Candi Cann, Ph.D., a death scholar and associate professor of religion in the Honors College, and Jo-Ann Tsang, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher and associate professor of psychology, offer four strategies for people experiencing difficult emotions and grief during the holidays.

Embrace the spectrum of emotions

Both Tsang and Cann say the key to maintaining balance and authenticity – even while deep in grief – is understanding and accepting where you are emotionally.

“It’s possible and normal to feel different emotions at one time,” Tsang said. “You can feel happiness during the holidays, but also sad that you miss someone who you wish were present. Being grateful does not rule out feeling other emotions; we can cultivate gratitude, but that does not necessitate running away from other emotions.”

Cann pointed out that grief can be complicated if the death or loss is from a difficult relationship.

“It is okay to feel relief in addition to grief and it is important to validate all of your feelings – it’s a complicated grief because it was a complicated relationship,” Cann said.

The importance of self-care

Self-care is vital during this time, Cann said. She encourages grieving people to stay active, eat healthy, go outside to be in nature and get enough sleep.

“It’s totally normal to need more sleep when you're depressed and grieving. You just have to be gracious with yourself about that,” Cann said.

Allowing ourselves to feel emotions like stress, sadness or grief gives us insight into what we value and “can motivate us to take some time for self-care,” Tsang said. Acknowledging that we are stressed might lead us to reach out to others for help with tasks that overwhelm us or to let go of things to reduce stress.

In addition to taking care of your physical health, staying engaged in your community or church and being in community with others is beneficial for mental health, Cann said. But at the same time, be honest with yourself about what you want to do and only accept invitations or participate in activities that you feel you can handle, she added.

The place of gratitude

Tsang suggests approaching challenging emotions with gratitude as it “might also provide context and perspective for our loss and potentially transform our negative emotions.”

“As an example, I might feel frustrated that I am sad but then feel grateful that I have good family and neighbors to check on me and coworkers to help me finish the tasks that I can’t do while I’m down,” Tsang said. “This gratitude might help reduce my frustration by helping me see the support that is present in my life, on which I had not previously reflected.”

At the same time, she reiterated that, in addition to cultivating gratitude, it’s important for people to permit themselves to experience negative emotions such as grief and sadness in response to life circumstances.

“It’s okay if it’s hard to experience gratitude. God meets us where we are,” Tsang said.

Evaluate traditions and embrace memories

Cann suggests evaluating family traditions, choosing those that are most important to continue and starting new traditions that include their loved one.

“A lot of people feel like when that person is gone, the love is gone too, but the love is still there,” Cann said. “You wouldn't feel the grief or the big hole that you now have if you didn't have all of this love in the first place.”

She suggests embracing their loved one’s presence by including a place at the table for Christmas dinner, making their favorite recipe or finding other ways to continue the bonds. By doing these things, “you're including them in your conversation, and you're making space for that person, both literally and symbolically,” Cann said.

Supporting someone who is grieving

Being supportive of someone grieving requires patience and vulnerability.

“Engage with the person and ask how you can best support them, and let them know that you are thinking about them during this time,” Cann said.

Sometimes, friends or family members don’t want to bring up death during the holidays because they don't want to make people sad at a joyful time.

“But the point is, they already are sad, so bringing it up allows them to express it” and feel accepted in their pain, Cann said.

It also is important to remember that not all grief is related to death. There are many types of loss that people experience such as divorce or disease. The Baylor researchers note that we can’t decide or predict what defines another person's grief, but we can offer love and support.

Approaching the holidays when experiencing grief over a death or a deep loss may be painful at first, but using these strategies can help us face the future by celebrating with gratitude what we had in the past.

Ultimately, the holidays are a time for reflection, connection and self-compassion. Allow yourself to feel your emotions fully – whether joyful, challenging or a mix of both – and use them as guides for meaningful action.

Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply click on the expert's icon below or contact: Shelby Cefaratti-Bertin today.

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Candi Cann, Ph.D.

Professor, Baylor Interdisciplinary Core

Leading expert on death, dying & grief, diversity in death & the intersection of death & technology around the world

Digital Death and AfterlifeDeath and TechnologyModern Mourning Practices

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Aug 4, 2026

3 min

Bug Off: Why Some People Are More Attractive to Mosquitoes

Summer means mosquitoes, and with more of the pesky insects buzzing around, more people are grappling with mosquito bites and their consequences, ranging from an itchy inconvenience to serious health risks from vector-borne diseases. If it seems like mosquitoes bite you more than others, you may be right, according to Baylor University mosquito expert Jason Pitts, Ph.D. It simply may come down to how you smell. An associate professor of biology and director of Baylor’s Biology of Global Health 4+1 Program, Pitts focuses his research on mosquitoes and their complex odor-receptors, or sense of smell, to better understand how they locate food sources crucial to survival and reproduction. His impactful work is helping develop new mosquito control methods, which ultimately could lead to a decrease in vector-borne disease transmission around the world. “Many insects find their way around the world through their sense of smell, even more than vision,” Pitts said. “Mosquitoes and other insects really are adept at finding places to lay their eggs, finding flowers on which to feed or finding people on which to blood feed just by the sense of smell.” A mosquito’s strong sense of smell is critical to its survival. While all mosquitoes feed from nectar, only females bite humans and other mammals. They need the blood to support egg development in reproduction, and they rely heavily on scent to locate a host, Pitts said. “As we sweat, we emit volatile odors – or strong smells – which can be very attractive to mosquitoes,” Pitts said, adding that these odors include carboxylic acids, a key component in human sweat, which vary from person to person and can determine how appealing someone is to mosquitoes. Mosquitoes detect these chemicals in a similar way to how humans process smells. Humans have nerves in their nasal passages that, if tuned, will send signal receptors to the brain – the same process for mosquitoes, guiding them toward a potential meal, Pitts said. Because of their efficiency in locating human hosts, mosquitoes are considered to be the deadliest creatures in the world, responsible for more than 700,000 deaths each year from vector-borne diseases they transmit, including yellow fever, Zika, dengue, malaria and West Nile virus. Four D’s of mosquito prevention Whether you are a favorite meal among mosquitoes or not, Pitts recommends following the “Four D’s” of preventing mosquito breeding and bites – Dress, Drain, DEET and Dusk/Dawn. Dress Mosquitoes are attracted to darker colors, so wear light-colored, loose-fitting, long-sleeved shirts and long pants to protect yourself from potential bites. Drain The most important thing anyone can do is to reduce breeding sources for mosquitoes by draining stagnant water. If you have standing water in any kind of container in your yard, get in the habit of emptying those containers, including children’s swimming pools, which should be emptied at least once a week. Defend with DEET The most effective repellent is EPA-approved DEET (N-Diethyl-meta-toluamide). “Once a mosquito lands on the skin, they taste the skin to decide whether this is a good host or not,” Pitts said. “They can actually taste DEET, which is a long-range repellent. They can smell it and avoid it. When they taste it, they will also fly away.” Dusk / Dawn Mosquitoes are more active at dusk and at dawn, when the sun is rising or setting. Avoiding these times will help you avoid bites. If you like to take a morning run or walk at dusk, make sure to apply DEET repellent and wear light-colored clothing. Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply click on the icon below and connect with the expert.

Aug 4, 2026

8 min

The Odyssey on the Big Screen

How would one even begin the task of adapting The Odyssey, Homer’s nearly 3,000-year-old poem, to the big screen in 2026? We’re finding out as Academy Award-winning director Christopher Nolan brings the epic story of the hero Odysseus on his decade-long journey home after the Trojan War to modern audiences, including some who may never have read the classic story. As a professor of Great Texts at Baylor University, Sarah-Jane (SJ) Murray, Ph.D., has spent most of her life reading and analyzing ancient texts like The Odyssey and teaching a popular course in the Honors College on the “Intellectual Tradition of the Ancient World.” But she’s also a screenwriter and filmmaker who works with modern media and technologies to invite new audiences into the “Great Conversation” that spans millennia. Baylor Media & Public Relations spoke with SJ Murray about her approach to The Odyssey on the big screen, why this ancient story still resonates with readers – and now viewers – today and the creation of The Greats Story Lab that breathes new life into ancient wisdom from yesterday’s great books for today’s digital world. Q: You’ve described The Odyssey by Homer as “one of the greatest journeys ever told,” but it’s also a story that has us ponder some of life’s deepest questions. Why does The Odyssey, written nearly 3,000 years ago, continue to speak to us today? SJ Murray: This is something I spend a lot of time thinking about. At the end of the day, there are stories that are here for now, maybe entertain us in the day-to-day, or distract us and provide a little bit of relief from the difficulties of life. But then there are these enduring tales that challenge us to ask about timeless questions that never go away. I watch my students go through this in the classroom all the time, even the ones who have encountered maybe parts of The Odyssey in high school, and they're thinking, why am I reading this again? And then I watched them fall in love with it for the first time. It's not just that the story endures; it's that we can revisit it at different times in our lives, and we find new answers. Or if we're lucky and we're curious, we find new questions to ask about who we are. So there's all kinds of themes that help us in this, but at the end of the day, this is a story about someone who can't go home. Q: That desire to “go home” is a universal theme we all can recognize, whether we’ve read the book or not. It's not that easy to come home from war and from great trial. You're no longer the same person you were when you left, so when we meet the great hero for the first time – and we don't meet him at the beginning of the book – he’s weeping. There are always a few students in the class who say, this is just not how I would think of Odysseus. And the Greeks wouldn't have either. This is the great hero of the battle of Troy, and yet when we meet him, he's a broken man, war has taken its toll on him and so has separation from his community, and he yearns to go home. The person holding him hostage has offered him immortality, and unlike, let's say the Interview with a Vampire interviewer, who wants that immortality more than anything else, Odysseus just wants to be human, knowing that he will die. The Odyssey is a book about challenging us to live well, because life is short, and there will be trials, there will be challenges, and as we see Odysseus wrestle with them, including his own great pride, we have a chance to learn lessons from him and to forge our own characters alongside him. There's the adventure, for sure, but there's an incredible part of the book that forms us as people who think about restraint, and what does a virtue like humility look like? What does a virtue like courage look like? All of these are questions that help us live more fruitful lives if we seek out the answers, and there's no easy answer, so we have to keep revisiting these questions, and a book like The Odyssey invites us into that same quest, so that we, too, can find the peace and rest of finally being home again. That really inspires me. Q: As a professor of Great Texts who also teaches in film & digital media, how should moviegoers who have never read The Odyssey engage with the story? SJ Murray: This is such a great thing to think about because there's a lot of noise right now on the internet. Read the book first, read the book after. And I think it's okay to approach it from many different ways. My advice would be to remember, and I say this as a positive thing, that a movie is a work of art in its own right, and it is an interpretation in its own right. So I do not presume to tell anybody what they should do, but I can tell you what I do, and that is I will be going in, and I will be excited to see how Christopher Nolan adapts it. My hope is that the truth and the spirit and the themes of The Odyssey are alive and well, and I expect to see some things that delight and surprise me. Q: You're a medieval scholar and a filmmaker, so you have an interesting perspective on film adaptations of ancient stories. During medieval times, stories were told to audiences – and they changed with each telling. And that was okay! SJ Murray: Maybe I have had many years on my side to train me to think about stories in this way, because in the Middle Ages, that I studied in graduate school, it was sort of insulting if somebody copied your story verbatim. Think about this. This is all pre-printing press, so people would expand dialogue, or add a little scene, or take something out that they didn't like, or add a love interest. This happened all the time in medieval storytelling, and the idea was that the story had to be alive, it had to breathe, it had to grow. So if we go in expecting the story I see play in my head, then we're more at risk of maybe being disappointed. I did this when I went in to watch “The Lord of the Rings.” I was like, I want to see what Peter Jackson did with one of my favorite books of all time. And I was delighted, and I wanted to read the book again. I think that if you go see The Odyssey and want to be surprised and delighted and to feel that Homer is alive, then that is a good thing. Q: Do audiences have to choose between the movie and the book? SJ Murray: I would not presume to say I watched the movie, therefore I have read the book because they are two different things. Nolan has to be allowed the freedom to create his work of art, and Homer's poem has to live on in its own right that deserves our attention today as well. The two things can be true. I can love the movie, and I can love the old book. I want to live in a world where we can enjoy both because the reality today is that the greatest gateway into reading a book for a young person is going to be a great movie or something that they come across on Instagram. I want them to find their way back into the book, and we have to find ways to issue that invitation today in new ways. Q: You recently published an essay in the Sunday New York Times about our modern crisis of attention and how advice from the Roman philosopher Seneca from 2,000 years ago can help us reclaim wisdom and avoid distraction today. Can ancient stories brought to life on the big screen ignite a reading journey in the classics like The Odyssey? I would just say that if you love a story and you love a book, a far more powerful way for people to read with joy and gusto again is to hear about it from another human being. If you and I were not here talking today about this, and I said to you, one of my favorite books of all time that really changed my life is Homer's Odyssey. I got you a copy, and no pressure, give it to somebody else if you don't want to read it, but I think you'd really enjoy it. It really speaks to something you're going through right now. The chance of your friend reading that book just went up astronomically. And that's what it means to steward bookish culture well in our digital age. We have to remember that books are things shared person to person, and stories are things shared person to person. So if you have a grandkid right now, and you love The Odyssey, they will love to receive it from you as a gift, and they will probably love it all the more because their grandfather or grandmother gave it to them. Don't underestimate the gift of your love of a book, sharing it verbally with somebody else. It might be the little spark they need to turn that page and start reading. Q: Director Christopher Nolan spoke recently to The New York Times about challenging himself with an ancient story like The Odyssey that resonates with our culture today. How do you foresee viewing the film yourself as both a filmmaker and Great Texts scholar? SJ Murray: I learned this from a late mentor, Robert Fagles, who was a great translator of Homer. In my first year or second year at Baylor, he came to Baylor to give a lecture on campus, and I asked him what he thought about the film, “Troy.” I expected him to be like, oh, they really should have worked harder on making that more exact or something. And I just remember this huge smile came over his face, and he was just sort of looking out in front of him, thinking, and he said, “Well, Sarah Jane, it's just… it's wonderful. The stories are alive. People are talking about them, they're watching them, people are reading them again. Homer would be so pleased.” And I remember in that moment, I told myself, when a movie comes out about a book I care about, I want to be like Bob Fagles. I want to be excited for the movie. How lucky are we that in our lifetime, an amazing director like Christopher Nolan has chosen to bring Homer back to life for us. That's amazing. It's wondrous. I'm so excited. The best advice I can give anyone, and this is what I do myself every time I start a movie and every time I start a book. I'm going to turn off my inner critic when I walk in. When the lights go down, that is a sign for me to be with the story and the journey and to turn off the little voice in my head that wants to analyze anything. When I go into the movie theater, I want to watch and enjoy and be part of that community experience of watching “The Odyssey” together. Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply contact: Shelby Cefaratti-Bertin at Shelby_Cefaratti@baylor.edu today.

May 28, 2026

4 min

Hunter-Gatherer ‘Egalitarianism’ Is More Complicated Than We Thought

Hunter-gatherer societies are often portrayed as models of equality, cooperation and selfless food-sharing. However, Baylor University anthropologist Duncan N.E. Stibbard-Hawkes, Ph.D., and an interdisciplinary team of researchers have found that this familiar picture oversimplifies how egalitarianism actually functions in everyday life. Their research, published in the journal PNAS Nexus, examined the Hadza, a contemporary hunter-gatherer population in Tanzania, and found that relatively equal outcomes are often maintained not only by altruism, but through social pressure and what anthropologists call “demand sharing.” In a previous study, Stibbard Hawkes and co-author Chris von Rueden, Ph.D., professor of Leadership Studies at the University of Richmond, conducted a wide-ranging review of hunter-gatherer populations that are typically characterized by equality. They found that, although many of these societies did “function with relative equality, even the most egalitarian hunter-gatherer groups display inequality in one area or another.” To further understand this, Stibbard Hawkes and the research team tested their ideas of egalitarianism through a behavioral economic experiment employing a give-and-take behavioral economy game with Hadza participants. “We find that equality was achieved only under conditions of disadvantageous inequality – where the person playing the game had less than others – suggesting that taking is more important in achieving redistributive equality than giving,” Stibbard Hawkes said. “This mirrors real life – if someone has too much, there’s often a lot of demanding shares from other people.” “Looking at the actual motivations and mechanisms of redistribution and limiting power gives us a more realistic approach and a clearer view of what egalitarianism actually is." - D. Stibbard Hawkes, Ph.D. Behavioral economy games Many anthropologists and ethnographers investigate fairness in societies by employing behavioral economic games, such as the “dictator game.” By giving participants an endowment of tokens, researchers can understand how equality ideals function within that group based on how individuals keep or give away the tokens, Stibbard Hawkes said. “When you play these economic games, people are often more selfish in hunter-gatherer societies than they are in America or Europe,” Stibbard Hawkes said. “Which is surprising because these societies are well known for being egalitarian.” To better reflect real-world Hadza food-sharing practices, Stibbard Hawkes and team redesigned the experiment so participants could take resources as well as give them – and the results changed dramatically. “We changed the rules of these economic games and ended up with equality – but only in the condition where people could take from other people,” he said. “That resulted in a relatively equitable distribution.” Only 40.9% of participants shared when they had more food than others, while 30% claimed additional items. When starting with fewer resources, 58.8% took from their partner – often beyond what was necessary for balance. Across both conditions, taking everything was the most common behavior. Importantly, the motivations behind those outcomes were not always idealistic. “Though we saw a lot of generosity, the individual motivations underlying this equality were actually often quite self‑interested,” Stibbard Hawkes said. Equality without altruism Rather than reflecting an intrinsic desire to be fair, Hadza sharing behavior reflects asymmetric incentives and immediate needs. “If I have a big pile of food and I’m not sharing it,” Stibbard-Hawkes explained, “the people around me are going to say, ‘No, you need to share this, and you’re going to give this to me.’ And, when everyone does this, the result is equality.” He emphasized that these interactions are often personal and direct. “It’s not just a societal expectation,” he said. “It’ll often be a direct dyadic interaction. Someone in the room next to you might be like, ‘Well, you’ve got a lot – you should give me some.’” How egalitarianism works Hunter-gatherer societies have long been used to help explain humanity’s evolutionary history. But Stibbard-Hawkes said popular writing often turns these societies into an idealized moral example. “When this gets roughly translated into popular science books,” Stibbard Hawkes said, “the idea is very much like we lived in this Edenic garden of freedom and plenty where everything was good and there were no difficulties.” That framing, he said, misses how egalitarianism is actually maintained. “Egalitarian societies exist – they’re not mythical,” Stibbard Hawkes said. “But if you actually look at the mechanics of how egalitarianism and relative political equality are maintained, it’s often people who are arguing, demanding shares and even insulting people who have too much.” Market integration and changing norms The study also found that Hadza individuals with greater exposure over the last decade to Tanzania’s broader market economy and farming were slightly more accepting of unequal outcomes. “These are things with a very different resource base, and what I'm finding is that – while traditionally forage foods like hunted meats, people expect sharing – when you ask people about cash or grain, their notions of what should be shared are very different,” Stibbard Hawkes said. Egalitarianism is not a myth Egalitarianism is not a myth—but it is often misunderstood. Generosity is not uncommon – but nor are people in egalitarian societies uniquely altruistic. Rather than arising from innate altruism or a lost utopia, equality in hunter-gatherer societies is actively produced through social pressure, negotiation and demands that limit accumulation and power. “Looking at the actual motivations and mechanisms of redistribution and limiting power gives us a more realistic approach and a clearer view of what egalitarianism actually is,” Stibbard Hawkes said.

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