Tinsel, Tears, and Turkey: How Seniors Really Feel About the Holidays

Retirement expert Sue Pimento looks at what the season really feels like for many Canadians 55+—and what families can do to make this time more meaningful, inclusive, and joyful.

Dec 10, 2025

8 min

Sue Pimento

Ah, the holidays. That magical season when cinnamon fills the air, grandkids are glued to their phones, and you're wondering if it's too early to spike the eggnog. (Answer: it's 5 o'clock somewhere, and that somewhere is your kitchen.)


For many older adults, the season is a cocktail of nostalgia, joy, and melancholy—served in a glass rimmed with memories of when the house was full, and the turkey wasn't store-bought.


Dealing With The Ghosts of Christmas Past


The holidays used to mean full houses, laughter echoing off the walls, and more food than a Costco freezer aisle. Now? Smaller gatherings, missing faces, and a nagging feeling that you're somehow in the way at your own celebration.


There's a certain ache that comes with the holidays as we age. It's not just arthritis—it's memory. The people who made our holidays special might no longer be around, and while their photos still grace the mantle, their absence can hit harder than a fruitcake to the forehead.


It's the quiet that gets you. The stillness of a home that used to hum with chaos. The microwave hums where the oven once sang. The Christmas card list has ghosted us—literally—replaced by e-cards that can't be hung on the fridge or hugged.


And yet, despite the ache, many seniors keep the traditions alive. They polish the silver, bake the cookies, and set the table—because ritual matters. It's a way to say, I'm still here, and this still matters.


Loneliness: The Fear No One Talks About


Let's name the holiday elephant in the room. Yes, it turns out that one really is the loneliest number.

It's that heavy feeling that sneaks in right around the time commercials start showing perfect families in matching pajamas (who, let's be honest, probably fought about those pajamas in the parking lot).


The numbers tell a sobering story: A report by the National Institute on Ageing, finds that as many as 41 per cent of Canadians aged 50 years and older are at risk of social isolation and up to 58 per cent have experienced loneliness before. The holidays often bring additional pressure for many. 


It's important to note, you don't have to live alone to feel lonely.  Seniors often fear being forgotten—left out of the group chat, the dinner invite, or even the conversation at dinner. Some feel like a burden, convinced their presence is more "obligation" than "invitation." That fear of irrelevance can creep up faster than fruitcake at a church bake sale.


The internal dialogue doesn't help:

"They're busy."

"They have their own lives."

"I don't want to be a bother."


But here's the truth: you're not a bother. You're the keeper of stories, the family's living archive, and—let's face it—the only one who actually knows how to carve a turkey without creating a crime scene.


The health stakes are real: According to a 2023 research report from the U.S. Surgeon General, loneliness and social isolation have a profound effect on mortality, equal to smoking 15 cigarettes per day. That’s more impact than obesity or sedentary lifestyles. It's associated with increased risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety. This isn't just about feeling blue; it's about actual health outcomes.


When Depression Wears a Santa Hat


Holiday depression doesn't always look like tears and tissues. Sometimes it's withdrawing from events, skipping meals, or not bothering to decorate. It's saying "I'm fine" with a smile that doesn't reach your eyes.


A prominent research study of seniors in the UK over a 12-year period published in The Lancet, 

confirms what many seniors experience: loneliness is a significant predictor of depression in older adults. The study found that higher loneliness scores were consistently associated with increased depression severity. The relationship works both ways—people with mental health conditions are more than twice as likely to experience loneliness.


It can also show up physically—fatigue, poor sleep, or that vague feeling that something's just... off. The sparkle of the season fades under the weight of grief, change, or just the exhausting pressure to be merry when you're not feeling it.


A few sad moments are natural. We all get a little misty when "White Christmas" plays for the 47th time. But if the blues linger past Boxing Day, it might be time for a gentle check-in—with a friend, a doctor, or someone who actually listens (not just nods while scrolling).

Remember: asking for help isn't a weakness. It's wisdom. And honestly? It's badass.


The Magic of Rituals and Traditions


For seniors, traditions aren't just habits—they're anchors. The same decorations, the favorite songs, the "don't touch that, it's Grandma's angel" moment that happens every. Single. Year.

Research shows that rituals and traditions provide crucial psychological benefits for older adults, including a sense of stability, purpose, and belonging. They offer structure and comfort during challenging times, helping seniors feel grounded and connected to their roots.


Studies have found that maintaining traditions contributes to overall mental well-being and can even reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.  These rituals offer stability in a world that keeps changing at warp speed (seriously, when did voice-activated ornaments become a thing?).


But when traditions fade—when no one asks for the shortbread recipe or the ornaments stay boxed—it can feel like being erased in real time.


So here's the trick:


Evolve the traditions.

Pass the torch, not the guilt. Let the grandkids lead carols (even if they insist on adding Mariah Carey).


Use the good china. Pull out the silverware stored in the wooden case under the china cabinet that hasn't been opened since 1987.


Keep the spirit alive, even if it looks different now.


How Seniors Can Create a Joyful Holiday (Yes, Really!)


Reach Out First: Don't wait for others to make the first move. Call, text, or—even better—show up with cookies. People are often grateful for the invitation but also afraid to impose. Be the one who breaks the ice.


Host a Mini Gathering: Even if it's just tea with a neighbor, connection is the best seasoning of all. Bonus: smaller gatherings mean less cleanup and more actual conversation.


Volunteer: Nothing lifts the spirit like helping someone else. Food banks, shelters, and local schools welcome extra hands. Plus, it's a great reminder that you're still needed—and you are.


Laugh on Purpose: Watch old comedies. Tell those same stories (again). Laughter really is medicine—no prescription, no co-pay required.


Decorate Anyway: Even if no one's visiting, do it for you. Light up your space, and your mood might just follow. And if the neighbors think you're overdoing it? Even better.


What Families Can Do (Besides Show Up Hungry)

Here's your holiday homework, families:


Visit More, Scroll Less. You can't hug over FaceTime. And honestly, Grandma's WiFi probably can't handle it anyway.


Listen Like It's a Gift. Because it is. Let seniors share their stories without rushing them or checking your phone. They're not just repeating themselves—they're reliving joy. (And yes, you've heard it before. Listen again.)


Include Them in the Chaos. Let Grandma wrap presents, Grandpa set the playlist, or Aunt Sue take charge of... okay, maybe not the gravy. But give them a role. Purpose is the best present.


Check In Regularly. A quick "thinking of you" text can mean more than an expensive gift. Though, to be fair, both are nice.


Respect Their Pace. Big gatherings can be overwhelming. Sometimes small and meaningful beats loud and crowded. Not everyone wants to do the Macarena at Christmas dinner. (Looking at you, Uncle Bob.)


Remember: the greatest present you can give an older adult is presence—yours.


The Importance of Joy (and How to Find It Again)


Joy doesn't always come in grand gestures. Sometimes it's hiding in the small stuff:


• The smell of pine needles

• The first snowflake (before it turns into gray slush)

• That old ornament you swore you'd throw out

• The laughter of family—even if it's at your expense


Joy isn't found lying around like loose change. It's made. Sometimes it's coaxed out with a memory, a song, or a well-timed bad joke about Aunt Sue's lumpy gravy.


And if all else fails, remember this: you've survived decades of holidays. Burnt turkeys. Broken ornaments. That unfortunate incident with the glue gun in 2003. You've earned the right to laugh through the tears and dance in your slippers if you damn well feel like it.


The Real Gift


The holidays remind us that connection—not perfection—is the true magic.

For seniors, it's about being seen, heard, and loved. For families, it's about showing up, listening, and laughing together.


Because one day, those elders' stories will become yours. And you'll want someone to care enough to hear them, too.


So let's make this season count. Let's call more, visit more, and laugh more. Let's honor the past while making new memories. And let's remember that the best traditions aren't the ones that stay the same—they're the ones that adapt, evolve, and keep bringing us together.


Now pass the eggnog. The spiked kind.


Let's All Sit Under the Mistletoe and Sing the Retired Remix of "Jingle Bells"

(To the tune of "Jingle Bells")


Dashing through the snow,

With a walker all in tow,

To the mall we go,

Moving nice and slow!

Family's out of sight,

Texting through the night,

Oh, what fun it is to Zoom

My grandkids once a night—hey!


Chorus:

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,

Oh, what fun it is to chat

With friends who won't delay—hey!

Jingle bells, jingle bells, laughter saves the day,

Lonely hearts can still feel joy—

If love just finds a way.

Happy holidays, everyone. May your turkey be moist, your family be present, and your eggnog be strong.

Want more insights like this?


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Sue


Don’t Retire…Re-Wire!


References & Resources for You or a Loved One


On Loneliness and Social Isolation:

• U.S. Surgeon General. (2023). Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf

• Medicare FAQ. (2024). Loneliness in Seniors Statistics: Combating Social Isolation. https://www.medicarefaq.com/blog/senior-loneliness-statistics/

• Mayo Clinic. (2023). Loneliness and Social Isolation Through the Holidays. https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loneliness-and-social-isolation-through-the-holidays/


On Depression and Mental Health:

• Kok, R.M., & Reynolds, C.F. (2020). The association between loneliness and depressive symptoms among adults aged 50 years and older: A 12-year population-based cohort study. The Lancet Psychiatry. https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(20)30383-7/fulltext

• Cigna. (2021). The Loneliness Epidemic Persists: A Post-Pandemic Look at the State of Loneliness Among U.S. Adults.


On Traditions and Rituals:

• Oregon Counseling. Why Traditions Matter to Mental Health. https://oregoncounseling.com/article/why-traditions-matter-to-mental-health/

• Care365. Maintaining Traditions with Seniors. https://www.care365.care/resources/maintaining-traditions-with-seniors

Additional Support:

• National Council on Aging. Four Steps to Combat Loneliness in Seniors During the Holidays. https://www.ncoa.org/article/four-steps-to-combat-loneliness-in-seniors-during-the-holiday-and-beyond/


Emergency Services

If the situation is urgent or someone is in immediate danger: Call 911.

Canada Suicide Prevention Service (CSPS)

• Call: 1-833-456-4566 (available nationwide, 24/7)

• Text: 45645 (evenings)

• Chat: available at 988.ca




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Sue Pimento

Sue Pimento

Founder | CEO

Writer, author & presenter focused on financial literacy and retirement strategies. I advocate for the health, wealth & purpose for retirees

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GRANDSPLAINING...It's as Bad as it Sounds! featured image

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GRANDSPLAINING...It's as Bad as it Sounds!

Summary: "Grandsplaining" is a playful term that captures the all-too-familiar situation where younger generations offer unsolicited advice to older family members, often in a manner that is as condescending as it is unhelpful. This behaviour can be perceived as disrespectful and potentially creates awkward communication barriers, emotional strain, and family tension. Rooted in ageist stereotypes, it can even undermine elders' self-esteem. Here, we explore alternatives to grandsplaining, including the radical concepts of genuinely listening, asking open-ended questions, demonstrating empathy, and avoiding assumptions. These suggestions aim to help adult children support their older family members—not merely swoop in with a "fix-it" attitude. The Disrespectful Impact of Condescending Advice on Seniors When I helped older Canadians navigate financing their retirements, I often witnessed what can only be described as "grandsplaining in the wild." Conversations between adult children and their elders usually felt less like dialogues and more like lectures—one-sided advice sessions that left everyone gritting their teeth. The younger relative, likely well-meaning, would offer suggestions like, “You should downsize and buy a condo,” “Sell and rent,” or, the pièce de resistance, “Move in with family!” Judging by the withering looks from their elders, it was clear this approach wasn’t winning any "Favorite Child" awards. The older family members often felt patronized, as though their decades of life experience had been conveniently forgotten. The advice was condescending, painfully obvious, and usually impractical or unwanted. The dynamic reminded me of the cringeworthy experience of being "mansplained." And that’s when it hit me: this is “grandsplaining.” Unfortunately, grandsplaining can turn retirement planning conversations into a crash course on how not to communicate! Fortunately, with a little effort (and much less lecturing), families can turn this ship around and build stronger, more respectful relationships. What is "Grandsplaining"? In an age where communication flows freely across digital platforms, I define "grandsplaining" as a colloquial expression to describe a situation where younger generations offer unsolicited advice to older individuals, often patronizing or condescendingly. Grandsplaining typically involves a younger person explaining something to an older individual in a way that belittles their experience or intelligence. The term combines "grand" (suggesting age or status) and "splaining" (a slang term for condescendingly explaining something). While the intention behind such advice may often be well-meaning, the delivery can be patronizing, reinforcing stereotypes about aging and competence. This behaviour can significantly undermine the dignity and autonomy of seniors, leading to feelings of frustration, resentment, and a sense of being marginalized. Understanding the nuances of grandsplaining sheds light on intergenerational dynamics in these conversations. We must find a better, more respectful, and effective way to communicate with our elders considering retiring. The phenomenon of grandsplaining can manifest in various contexts, not just financing retirement—whether it’s discussing technology, lifestyle choices, healthcare options, or even social norms. For instance, a grandchild might explain how to use a smartphone app to a grandparent, assuming that the older generation cannot understand it despite their own lifelong experience with technology in different forms. Communication Breakdown In an era where financial literacy and retirement planning are more crucial than ever, "grandsplaining" has become a significant barrier to effective communication between generations. Retirees often feel overwhelmed or dismissed when their relatives provide unsolicited advice, especially if it contradicts their wants or financial strategies. This can lead to a reluctance to engage in discussions about finances, creating a rift that undermines the potential for collaborative planning. When adult children dominate conversations with preconceived notions of financial management, it stifles the opportunity for seniors to express their feelings, share their knowledge, and collaborate on effective retirement strategies. The Generation Gap in Financial Understanding Adult children may rely on outdated financial paradigms that no longer apply to their elders' realities. The economic landscape has changed dramatically over the past few decades, with shifts in real estate markets, a lack of formal retirement plans, and longer life expectancies. This generational gap can lead to misguided advice that does not consider modern challenges such as retiring with debt, little or no pension income, or rising living costs. Emotional Strain and Family Tension When relatives impose their views, it can evoke frustration, resentment, or inadequacy in their elders. This dynamic can shift the conversation from one focused on financial empowerment to one steeped in emotional conflict and shame. Instead of fostering a supportive environment for discussing retirement goals, grandsplaining can create adversarial relationships where seniors feel belittled or pressured, further complicating an already sensitive topic. Erosion of Autonomy When relatives try to impose their methods or strategies, it can undermine the seniors’ independence, making them feel a lack of control over their finances. Financial decisions are deeply personal and often intertwined with individual circumstances, goals, and values. This loss of agency not only affects financial outcomes but can also impact the mental well-being of older adults, leading to feelings of incompetence or anxiety about their financial futures. The Context of Ageism The implications of ageism are particularly concerning in a rapidly changing world characterized by technological advancements and unprecedented changes in social norms. While younger generations may genuinely wish to assist their elders in navigating these changes, their actions can reinforce negative stereotypes rather than empower seniors. Grandsplaining highlights the generational divide, creating an "us versus them" mentality that hinders collaboration and mutual understanding. Grandsplaining is deeply intertwined with ageism, a pervasive societal attitude that discriminates against individuals based on their age. Ageism manifests in various forms, including stereotypes that depict older adults as technologically inept, resistant to change, or incapable of learning. These stereotypes can lead to the marginalization of seniors within families and communities. Not cool! When younger generations adopt a condescending tone, they inadvertently reinforce ageist stereotypes that portray older adults as out of touch or incapable. This affects individual relationships and perpetuates societal narratives devaluing older individuals' contributions and wisdom. The Impact on Relationships Grandsplaining can strain relationships between generations, fostering resentment and conflict. For many seniors, unsolicited advice can infringe on their autonomy, making them feel infantilized or disrespected. I've seen firsthand how parents can react defensively to younger family members and sometimes withdraw altogether from conversations. When assistance is delivered condescendingly, it can backfire. The resulting tension may prevent meaningful conversations about important topics, such as healthcare decisions or lifestyle changes, which are crucial for seniors' well-being. The Psychological Impact on Seniors Being on the receiving end of condescending advice can also lead to diminished self-esteem and increased feelings of inadequacy. Seniors may begin to internalize the belief that they are not capable of making sound decisions or understanding new concepts, which can further exacerbate issues related to aging, such as cognitive decline and depression.  Encouraging Respectful Communication with Seniors Addressing the issue of grandsplaining requires a concerted effort from both younger and older generations to cultivate respectful communication. Here are several strategies to foster more positive intergenerational interactions: 1. Actively Listen: Younger people should prioritize active listening when engaging with seniors. This involves hearing what the older person says and validating their experiences and perspectives. Younger people can create a more respectful dialogue by acknowledging their knowledge and expertise. 2. Seek to Understand: Younger generations must approach conversations with empathy. To quote Stephen Covey's wise words, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."  Recognizing seniors' challenges, such as health issues or technological gaps, can foster a sense of compassion. This approach can help bridge the generational divide and promote more constructive conversations. 3. Avoid Assumptions: The tendency to assume that older adults are out of touch or incapable can lead to grandsplaining. Instead, younger individuals should avoid making assumptions about seniors’ knowledge or abilities. Asking questions like “What do you think about this?” or “How do you feel about that?” can empower seniors to share their insights and experiences. 4. Offer Support, Not Solutions: Ask questions like, “What does a successful retirement look like to you? How do you plan to finance your retirement? Do you want to stay in this home? Are you open to moving? If so, where? Do you have enough in savings? How can I support you in having an independent and dignified retirement”? 5. Understand the Bigger Picture: Don’t assume that the traditional strategies of downsizing, selling, renting, or moving in with family are reasonable solutions for your elder in today’s economic environment. These retirement strategies are problematic for today’s seniors. In most cases, downsizing only works financially if the retiree is willing to move to a smaller, more affordable community. Most seniors want to stay in their communities and not move away from family, friends, churches, or familiar shops and services. Selling, renting, or moving in with family requires the sale of their significant appreciating asset. Given today's longer life expectancies, it's not always a wise choice. 6. Humour: By skillfully using humour, you can turn potentially patronizing situations into moments of connection and shared joy, ensuring that conversations with elders remain meaningful, respectful and memorable. For example, you could start the conversation this way; "The last thing I want to do is give you advice. That would be ridiculous. You’re the wise sensei here—I’m just the clueless apprentice trying to save enough downpayment to buy a shoebox of a house." This approach humorously flips the script, poking fun at the presumptuousness of unsolicited advice while emphasizing the elder's experience and wisdom. 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The Grace to Fail: My MBA Journey (Part 3) featured image

8 min

The Grace to Fail: My MBA Journey (Part 3)

I have a confession to make. My wife Bonnie and I are addicts. Not the kind that requires an intervention, exactly, but close. We are addicted to home improvement. We are always planning the next upgrade, the next project, the next thing to tear apart and make better. It gives us genuine pleasure and a profound sense of accomplishment. Bonnie leads most of these endeavours. She is remarkably capable with power tools and can pull off a tool belt like she is strutting down a Home Depot runway (aisle). Our shared obsession has even spawned a series of Facebook posts called the 2 Capable Women, where we document everything from felling trees to the deeply humbling art of Ikea assembly. So there we were, driving in traffic, and Bonnie was telling me about her next project: removing the circa-1960 wood panelling and replacing it with modern shiplap. Mid-conversation, she went quiet for a moment and said, almost to herself, “I guess I need to allow myself the grace to fail.” I nearly drove off the road. You must understand something about Bonnie. She is a self-declared perfectionist. Not casually. She is committed to being a perfectionist at being a perfectionist. So, hearing those words come out of her mouth, unprompted, while discussing a renovation project, was like hearing your accountant quote Oprah. It stopped me completely. The truth has a certain ring to it. I heard that bell loud and clear. Because sometimes wisdom does not arrive in a lecture hall or a leadership book or a TED talk. Sometimes it arrives in a car, in traffic, from the person sitting next to you holding a coffee and thinking about shiplap. That phrase has not left me since. Many of us do this. We replay mistakes endlessly, convinced that self-criticism is somehow productive. We lie awake revisiting conversations and missteps, assuming that if we beat ourselves up long enough, we will emerge wiser. All we accomplish is a thorough self-beating followed by self-flagellation. Lots of noise. Zero progress. Zero calories burned. This is not just a problem for people climbing mountains or starting businesses. It plays out in perfectly ordinary moments. You send an email and immediately wish you had worded it differently. You make a comment at dinner that lands wrong and spend three days replaying it. You make a small error at work and carry it around like luggage for a week. The inner courtroom convenes regardless. Most of us are not failing spectacularly. We are just living, occasionally getting things slightly wrong, and treating that as evidence of something deeply and permanently wrong with us. It is not. It is just Tuesday. I have been thinking about this a lot lately because I am in the middle of my MBA at the Sprott School of Business. 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Not because failure is something to celebrate, but because the willingness to risk it is the price of admission for virtually everything worth doing. Failure is not a topic most of us rush toward. It is about as pleasant as stubbing your toe in the dark. Yet every meaningful thing I have ever done required me to risk it. Starting a new career. Leading a sales team. Launching a business. Climbing a mountain. Writing a book. Going back to school at 69. None of it came with guarantees. All of it came with uncertainty, mistakes, and moments where I genuinely wondered whether I had lost my mind. The jury is still out on some of those. The irony is that failure and growth are inseparable. Dweck (2006) found that people who view setbacks as learning opportunities rather than evidence of inadequacy are more likely to persevere and ultimately succeed. Duckworth (2016) agreed, and in Grit, one of my favourite books, long-term success depends less on talent and more on the willingness to keep going after things fall apart. Neff (2023) added that people who respond to failure with self-compassion rather than harsh self-judgment show greater improvement and are more likely to try again. The friction produced by failure is often exactly what generates learning, but only if we give ourselves enough grace to stay in the game. I see this everywhere. Professionals are staying in jobs they no longer enjoy because starting over feels too risky. Retirees hesitate to try something new because they might not be good at it right away. Students who will not ask a question because they do not want to appear uninformed. And if I am being honest, I see it in myself. Every time I hesitate to contribute to class because everyone else seems younger and sharper. Every time I catch myself wondering whether I belong in the room. One exercise has helped me enormously. When I catch myself spiralling into negative self-talk, I imagine my five-year-old self standing beside me, listening. Would that little girl feel encouraged? Not a chance. So why do we think inner dialogue helps us? A recent example: I made a point in a meeting that got a polite nod and complete silence. You know the silence. The one that could mean anything from “interesting” to “what on earth did she just say?” I replayed that moment for two days. Eventually, I asked a colleague how the meeting had gone, and she said she barely remembered it. The forensic investigation was conducted entirely in my own head. I am not suggesting we lower our standards. We should hold ourselves accountable, learn from our mistakes, and strive to do better. But there is a meaningful difference between accountability and cruelty. Between reflection and rumination. Between learning from a mistake, and building a summer cottage on top of it, and checking in every long weekend. I worry about what this means for the generation behind us. Research by Professor Gabriel Rubin at Montclair State University found that despite living in one of the safest periods in history, Gen Z perceives risk virtually everywhere (Rubin, 2023). They have grown up knowing that at any moment, someone has a phone. One stumble, one terrible dance move, and the clip is posted before you catch your breath. Permanent, searchable, shareable public failure is something entirely new, and the consequences are showing up in surprising places. Monocle magazine noted young people standing completely still on nightclub dance floors, phones in hand, unable to lose themselves to the music. The club has become a stage, and the crowd has become the content. Instead of dancing, people film. Instead of connection, there is performance. This is not a small thing. Dancing is how humans have always signalled availability, built trust, and found each other. It requires a willingness to look slightly absurd. If we have raised a generation so terrified of being captured mid-stumble that they will not move to the music, we have handed surveillance culture a victory it does not deserve. Calculated risks lead to new opportunities, foster innovation, and teach lessons that comfort never could (Rubin, 2023). Risk aversion makes short-term sense. As a way of life, it quietly closes doors that were never meant to stay shut. Give yourself and the young people around you, explicit permission to be unpolished in public. To dance badly. To say the wrong thing and survive it. The phone will always be there. So, fortunately, will the music. Here is what I keep learning inside this MBA: wisdom arrives disguised as failure. The assignments that challenge me teach me more than the ones that come easily. The questions I most resist asking are usually the most important. I did not expect graduate school to teach me this. Then again, I did not expect to be here at seventy. I no longer think in terms of Wins and Losses. Those categories are too simple. I think in terms of Wisdom and Learning. Success builds confidence. Setbacks build insight. Both move us forward. Read that again. So the next time you find yourself at two in the morning replaying something you said three days ago, ask whether your five-year-old self would find your internal monologue useful. If the answer is no, offer yourself a little grace. Which brings me back to Bonnie. Last weekend, she pulled off that 1960s panelling. Every last piece. It was messy and uncertain, and at several points she was unsure what she would find underneath. There were surprises. There were moments of doubt. She kept going anyway. By the end of the weekend, the shiplap was going up, clean and bright and exactly right. She did not do it perfectly. She did it anyway. And it is beautiful. That is the whole lesson, right there, delivered by a woman with a pry bar and a tool belt, on a weekend in June. Failure is not the enemy. Most of the time it is just fear wearing a funny hat. And if you are lucky, it will teach you something genuinely worth knowing. Sometimes it comes from a research paper. Sometimes it comes from your wife, in a car thinking out loud about shiplap. Either way, listen for the bell. Writing my manifesto was one of the most clarifying things I did this year. Not because it solved anything, but because it forced me to decide, on paper, who I was going to be when things got hard. I want that for you, too. So I created the ReWirement Manifesto: a simple template for anyone navigating a new chapter, a big transition, or simply a Tuesday that did not go as planned. It is not a bucket list. It is not a vision board. It is a set of honest commitments you make to yourself, in your own words, that you can return to when your inner courtroom calls you to order. Download your free ReWirement Manifesto template here. Fill it in. Keep it somewhere you can find it. And the next time you are staring at a wall of 1960s panelling, wondering if you are in over your head, remember: the grace to fail is not a consolation prize. It is the whole point. Don’t Retire…Re-Wire! Sue My Book is Now Available for Pre-Order I hope you will consider pre-ordering a copy of Your Retirement Reset for you, a friend or loved one. It's available September 8, 2026 published by ECW Press - You can now order at Indigo or Amazon. And if you love supporting Canadian booksellers, please also check with your local independent bookstore. Most can easily order it for you.

Seniors and AI: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? featured image

9 min

Seniors and AI: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Let’s be honest: we’ve weathered every tech wave they’ve thrown our way. Rotary phones. Dial-up internet. The BlackBerry. And somehow, we’ve made it to AI. The robots know more about our shopping habits than our spouses do—and honestly, they’re better listeners. We’ve Survived Every Tech Wave. AI Is Just the Next One. Remember when the internet first emerged, and everyone claimed it would never take off? Shopping online was considered silly ("Who would buy shoes without trying them on?"), And email sounded like something only NASA engineers would use. Fast forward a few decades, and now you can't even renew a driver's licence without the internet. So much for "it'll never last."  It all began innocently enough. The first cordless phone was freedom on a frequency—you could step outside, yell "Can you hear me now?" and feel unstoppable. Then came remote controls, launching the golden era of couch-based cardio: jumping up every five minutes to find the one that actually worked. (Still missing: one VCR remote, circa 1987.) Next came AOL. "You've got mail!" was our first digital dopamine hit. Then the BlackBerry arrived—part phone, part pager, part fashion statement. It was heavy, expensive, and glorious. Until, like a hot potato, we all dropped it for the iPhone—sleeker, lighter, and small enough to fit in yoga pants. The iPod Nano followed. Goodbye radios, hello playlists! From there came Google, streaming, apps, and clouds (the digital kind, not the ones that ruin golf). And now… drumroll, please… Artificial Intelligence. The "It'll Never Last" File: Greatest Misses Edition We've encountered the skeptics before: • The Internet: "No one will use it." • Online Shopping: "People won't buy shoes sight unseen." • Email: "Who needs digital letters?" • Voice Assistants: "Talking to a speaker will freak people out." • AI: "It's just hype—like the Segway for brains." Well, the Segway is still technically around, but you're not riding one to the golf course. Meanwhile, AI is everywhere—and yes, seniors are joining the party. AI: The Latest "Fad" That Isn't If you think AI is a passing craze, you probably also dismissed online shopping and email. (Confession: I once thought, "Who would ever enter their credit card number online?") But AI isn't a gadget—it's the next era. As permanent as gravity, and just as invisible until it knocks something over. Use of generative AI among older adults throughout North America is growing. A Leger Research study revealed that 1 in 3 Canadians 55+ have tried an AI tool. We can ignore it, "poo-poo" it, or embrace it. But always remember: Resisting progress will not slow it down one byte. Why This Time Is Different Here's the twist: today's seniors aren't like our parents' generation. We're Boomers with bandwidth. We were the first to type with our thumbs, track our steps before it was trendy, and FaceTime the grandkids instead of mailing Polaroids. We've earned our tech credentials. Now it's time to flex them in the AI era. Seniors Meet AI: A Beautiful Disaster AI promised to make life easier. Instead, for many seniors, it's like adopting a mischievous grandchild who never listens and occasionally orders you twelve pineapples by accident. Let's be honest—we've all had those moments. Voice Assistants: The Frenemies "Alexa, play Staying Alive." "Calling 911. You appear to be in distress." "Siri, remind me to take my pill at 8." "Texting Phil at 8." "Hey Siri, stop listening." Silence. "Hey Siri, play jazz music." Still silence. (Give it a minute… you'll get it.) These so-called "assistants" are like toddlers with Wi-Fi—they only hear half of what you say, and always the half that causes chaos. The Sitcom Nobody Asked For Seniors using AI might just be the world's best sitcom waiting to happen: • Episode 1: ChatGPT Writes My Will (and Leaves Everything to Wi-Fi) • Episode 2: Siri Joins My Book Club and Never Stops Talking • Episode 3: I Asked Alexa to Play Jazz, and She Ordered a Jacuzzi Coming soon to streaming services everywhere—as soon as we find the remote. Texting While Senior: A New Dialect Emerges If you think AI is confusing, try texting with seniors. Somewhere between autocorrect and abbreviations, a new language has evolved—part English, part comedy special: BTW – Bring The Wheelchair ROFL... CGU – Rolling On The Floor Laughing... Can't Get Up LOL – Living On Lipitor BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth TGIF – Thank Goodness It's Four (Early Bird Special) FWB – Friend With Beta-Blockers TTYL – Talk To You Louder LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out GOML – Get Off My Lawn Honestly, AI could spend years decoding that list and still ask, "Did you mean BYOB?" "But What About Privacy?" (Spoiler: That Ship Has Sailed) Ah yes, the Privacy Protectors—those well-meaning friends who whisper, "Don't use AI, they're stealing your identity!" Spoiler alert: that ship already sailed. Siri and Alexa have been eavesdropping for years. Google knows where you've been, what you've read, and that you googled "how to delete Google history." Uber keeps a record of every trip you've ever taken—yes, even that midnight McDonald's run—and there's no "forget" button. Most of us have already traded privacy for utility. And honestly? It's not always a bad deal.  I'm happy to share a few megabytes of data if Apple can tell me where I parked in the underground garage with seventeen identical "P2" levels. That's not a conspiracy—that's a lifesaver. AI saves time, surfaces better options we didn't know existed, and delivers instant answers. No more hunting for the manual to your smoke detector—just snap a photo, and AI tells you exactly which button to push (and which one to avoid). We're not losing control; we're gaining convenience. And at this stage of life, that's worth more than a few anonymous data points. Ways Seniors Can Actually Use AI (and Enjoy It) AI tools are making daily life easier for older adults in practical, accessible ways. Here's how you can put them to work: The “Start Here” Ladder: Build Your AI Confidence One Rung at a Time Nobody learns to swim by jumping into the deep end. AI is the same. The trick isn’t to master everything at once—it’s to start somewhere low-stakes, build a little confidence, and move up when you’re ready. Here’s a simple progression that works: Level 1: Voice Assistants Risk Level: Minimal Fun Level: Surprisingly High ------------------- Start here if you haven’t already. Ask Alexa or Siri to set a timer, play music, check the weather, or settle a dinner-table argument. No typing required. Level 2: AI Chat Tools Risk Level: Low (with privacy settings activated) Usefulness Level: Eye-Opening ------------------- This is the “brilliant friend who knows everything” rung. Tools like ChatGPT or Google Gemini are free to use and can answer any question—no judgment, no wait times, no office hours. Try drafting a birthday message. Ask it to explain a medical term your doctor used. Get it to suggest a one-week meal plan. You type, it answers. Think of it as Google, but one that actually understands your question. A Note of Caution (Read This): Before you type anything personal into an AI app, go into the app’s privacy settings and switch off chat history/training so you don’t expose personal information. ChatGPT users can navigate to Settings > Data Controls and turn off "Improve the model for everyone". This prevents your conversations from being used to train future models. For extra privacy, disable "Chat History & Training," turn off memory features, or use the temporary chat feature. Level 3: Health and Wellness Wearables Risk Level: Low Payoff : Potentially Life-Saving ------------------- An Apple Watch or Fitbit isn’t simply a fancy step counter. These devices now detect irregular heart rhythms, monitor blood oxygen levels, track sleep quality, and—crucially—detect falls and automatically alert emergency contacts. For anyone living independently, that last feature alone makes it a worthwhile investment. You don’t need to know exactly how it works; just wear it. Level 4: Smart Home Tools Risk Level: Medium Payoff: You’ll Wonder How You Managed ------------------- Smart thermostats, video doorbells, voice-controlled lighting—these are AI tools you set up once and forget. The real win here is independence. Being able to control your home environment with your voice, check who’s at the door from your phone, or have the heat adjust automatically before you wake up: these aren’t luxuries. For many of us, they’re what make staying in our own homes longer a real and practical option. Level 5: AI-Assisted Financial Tools Risk Level: Higher. Stakes Level: Real. So Tread Carefully and Deliberately ------------------- This level is for when you’re comfortable and curious—not before. AI can now help you understand tax documents, summarize financial statements, compare mortgage products, and even flag unusual account activity. These tools are genuinely powerful. But they work best alongside a trusted human advisor, not instead of one. Think of AI as the research assistant who preps the questions. Your financial advisor is still the one who answers them.  The key is this: you don’t have to climb the whole ladder today. Pick one level. Try it for a week. Laugh when it goes sideways. Then decide if you want to go higher. Writing & Editing: Draft emails, thank-you notes, or letters with the right tone—ChatGPT handles over 1 million daily health-related queries from seniors, including help preparing questions for doctor visits Travel Planning: Find flights, plan itineraries, and even pack your suitcase virtually Financial Education: Ask about investments or taxes—AI explains without the jargon Health & Fitness: Wearable devices like Apple Watch and Fitbit track exercise, monitor heart rate, detect falls, and can notify help if you're in an accident Smart Home Control: Voice-activated systems can adjust temperature, turn lights on and off, unlock doors, and control security—all with simple voice commands Cooking: "AI, make a meal with tuna, yogurt, and hope" Entertainment: Jokes, playlists, stories, or party ideas Learning: Teach yourself a language, an instrument, or how to fix the Wi-Fi (again) Want to get started? OATS published "AI for Older Adults," a comprehensive guide covering health, finance, and lifestyle applications specifically for seniors. It's available at oats.org. The Serious Bit: AI and Your Portfolio Here’s where I put on my serious hat for a moment. The U.S. stock market is currently top-heavy with AI darlings—Nvidia, Microsoft, Alphabet, and Meta. Great companies. Exciting times. But retirement portfolios are not the place for a single-themed bet. If your retirement savings are overloaded with AI stocks, a correction could make your portfolio look like your Fitbit step count on a February long weekend. Diversify. Always. Love tech. Just don’t go steady with it. For more on this topic, check out Part 1 of my post: The Retirees' Guide to Market Volatility: Building Your Financial Safety Net Embrace AI, Don't Fear It AI is here to stay. Think of it as your digital assistant, not your replacement. Our generation has lived through it all: dial-up, disco, dot-com booms, and Bitcoin. If anyone can handle the rise of the machines, it's us. We figured out VCRs (eventually), navigated online banking, and mastered Zoom backgrounds (some better than others). And no, blurred does not count as a background. So fire up your curiosity. Try ChatGPT to plan your next vacation, use Google Gemini to get thoughtful answers to complex questions, or tell Alexa to crack a joke. (She's still learning… but she's improving.) We’ve adapted before. We’ll adapt again. That’s actually what we do. One baffling software update at a time. And here’s what no algorithm will ever replicate: Us. Our humour. Our resilience. The comedy gold of a pocket-dial to our X at 1am. The triumph of finding our reading glasses—while wearing them. AI is smart. But we’re wiser. And that still counts for a lot. So, here's the deal: AI can predict the stock market, diagnose your rash, and write a sonnet in seventeen seconds. But It still can't find your car keys, remember why it walked into the kitchen, or laugh until it snorts at its own joke. We've survived disco, dial-up, the dot-com crash, and that one Zoom call where someone didn't realize their camera was on in the bathroom. We will absolutely survive this, too. AI isn’t here to replace us; it’s here to keep up with us. And frankly, after decades of dealing with actual humans, a very smart, endlessly patient, never-hangry assistant sounds like an upgrade. So, when the robots eventually do take over, they'll need someone to tell them to slow down, dress properly, and call their mother. That's where we come in. Same as it ever was. One baffling software update at a time. Need more guidance? Here are some helpful resources: • AARP's 2025 Tech Trends Report – Research on how older adults are using technology • Bethesda Health Group's AI Guide for Seniors – Practical everyday applications • Ultimate Senior Resource: Top 10 AI Tools – Detailed reviews of the best AI tools for older adults Don't Retire...ReWire! Sue Want more of this? Subscribe for weekly doses of retirement reality—no golf-cart clichés, no sunset stock photos, just straight talk about staying Hip, Fit & Financially Free.

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