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Christmas is just around the corner and many families have already decorated their homes and started celebrating their Christmas traditions – but many stores have had their Christmas products out for months. This early bombardment of holiday advertisements and adornments often takes away from the excitement. So how do you recapture the true spirit of Christmas?
Baylor University Honors College professor Michael Foley, Ph.D., who teaches in the Great Texts Program, has researched the history of common Christmas traditions and uncovered forgotten customs.
“Christmas is indeed the most wonderful time of year, and that wonder is increased when we understand why we do the things we do,” Foley said. “Our delight in the season becomes greater when we appreciate the history and symbolism of the Christmas tree or why we kiss under the mistletoe.” Foley shares three practices to recapture the essence of Christmas and bring more joy to the season for your family.
Enjoy the 12 Days of Christmas Historically, the season of Advent during the weeks leading up to Christmas was a period of joyful restraint and preparation. During the Twelve Days of Christmas, from Christmas Day on Dec. 25 to the Feast of the Epiphany on Jan. 6, people would celebrate a release with a continuous period of leisure and merriment.
“Today, the Christmas season seems to start earlier and earlier each year. In the 20th century, the commercial season began the day after Thanksgiving, but now stores inundate the market with Christmas decorations much earlier,” Foley said. “The problem with this arrangement is that by the time Christmas finally comes, you’re tired of it. The older model has an organic build-up to the big day and then a great, 12-day release.” Returning to a slower-paced season full of cheerful spirits in the 12 days following Christmas is a way to recenter, refocus and reignite your Christmas spirit, Foley said.
Capture the Joy of Incarnation It’s easy to get caught up in the festivities and pressure of the holiday, but it is also important to return to the reason behind Christmas, Foley said, and take time to understand the meaning behind what seem like meaningless customs.
“The best traditions capture the fact that God became man in order to redeem us from our sins out of sheer love for us,” he said. Practices like caroling and gathering with family for food and drink are all acts of gratitude and joy that can remind us of God’s love. What may seem like typical holiday decorations, the holly wreath and the Christmas tree, are actually symbols of Christ bringing new life, Foley said.
Embrace the Bizarre Today, Christmas is surrounded by a light, cheery feeling. But history tells us that there has always been a certain “dark side” of Christmas.
“There is a reason why Ebenezer Scrooge was visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve,” Foley said. “All of winter was the season of fiends, and they were not happy that the winter solstice around Christmas Day marked the beginning of the end of the long dark nights and that Jesus Christ was born and triumphed over evil.” Other traditions involve swapping places with someone such as a parent and child, abbots and novices, or men and women.
“At one time, this custom of inverted social roles played an important role in gaining clarity and releasing tension in a hierarchical society,” Foley said. While this might seem useless, impractical, or even pointless today, it can still offer value to the Christmas joy.
“These inversion customs are a giddy imitation of the ultimate inversion in all of history,” Foley said. “That Almighty God chose to become a little baby in a measly manger.” Although some forgotten customs might seem odd to us today, there can be a certain kind of wisdom behind them – a wisdom that leads us back to the true spirit of Christmas, Foley said. After all, even Ebenezer Scrooge was able to find joy in Christmas again.
Michael Foley is a Professor of Patristics in the Honors College at Baylor University and the author of 17 books, including Why We Kiss under the Mistletoe: Christmas Traditions Explained. Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply contact: Shelby Cefaratti-Bertin today.
The holidays can be a joyous time full of celebrations and they also can be a time of intense stress. Individuals with substance and alcohol use disorders can experience additional stress during the holidays, which can interfere with their recovery, and they may need additional support to abstain from substance use. What can people in recovery do to both abstain and enjoy the holidays? And what can loved ones do to support them?
“Holidays can be difficult for anyone, but those with substance use and mental health disorders may have a more difficult time coping with those difficulties,” said Baylor University substance use disorder treatment expert Sara Dolan, Ph.D., professor of psychology and neuroscience. “The holidays can be – on one hand – a time rife with loneliness, and on the other hand, a time where family conflict might be more present,” Dolan said. “Both of these situations are hard for many of us to cope with, but we may want to be more sensitive to those who struggle more with these situations.” Dolan is a nationally known researcher on how neuropsychological dysfunction, including problems with memory and executive functions, affects how people cope with alcohol and substance use disorders and how these issues affect the treatment process and outcome. Dolan offers the following suggestions for individuals in recovery to help them get through the holidays and how family and friends can offer support.
Stay active in recovery If the individual already has a recovery plan in place such as a 12-step program or Celebrate Recovery, make sure to continue attending meetings and appointments during the holiday season.
“There are numerous virtual and in-person resources for people who are struggling, including mutual aid support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Smart Recovery,” Dolan said. “People can also call the SAMHSA national helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.” Even when traveling, it is a good idea to know local meeting schedules, use virtual resources and consider attending extra meetings to stay on top of your recovery.
Have a coping plan “It is important for people to have a solid coping plan before they go into potentially distressing situations,” Dolan said. Are there places or events to just stay away from? Dolan said it is “okay to keep yourself safe by leaving or even avoiding places that may be unsafe.”
By having a plan to handle stressors ahead of time, you can manage it better in the moment. Preparation is key to feeling safe and enjoying the holidays.
Avoid triggers and stressors Understanding personal triggers, which can be different for different people, can help us avoid them ahead of time.
“For some people, it’s family conflict, for some, it’s loneliness, and for some it’s feelings of anxiety or depression,” Dolan said. “It’s important to know your own stress points before you go into situations that may trigger them.” Once you know what leads to urges to use alcohol or other substances, you can determine how to counteract those circumstances or avoid them if necessary.
Reach out for support Reach out to family and friends who will most likely offer positive support. Letting your loved one know what you need – and how to support you in your recovery – can help you abstain from substance use during stressful situations. In fact, Dolan said you may even want to let them know ahead of time that you may need extra support.
How to support someone with a substance use disorder
Be as open, direct and caring as you can be. Dolan suggests talking to your loved one directly about what may – or may not be helpful – during the holidays.
“Some people in recovery may feel more comfortable in alcohol-free environments,” she said, “but some may not want their loved ones altering their behavior. “Ask – don’t assume – and let your loved one tell you what might work best for them,” Dolan added. Using these suggestions can help both individuals with substance and alcohol use disorders and their families have a healthy and happy holiday season.
Holiday gatherings often bring a mix of joy and challenges, especially when navigating complex family dynamics. Anticipating potential hurdles, such as sensitive topics or interpersonal tensions, can help family members approach these events with confidence and clarity.
Baylor University communication expert Allison M. Alford, Ph.D., researches adult daughtering, invisible labor and family relationships and emphasizes the importance of preparation to ensure a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for everyone over the holidays. She shares five practical tips to help families navigate the holidays with ease:
Dr. Allison Alford’s Five Family Tips for a Stress-free Holiday 1.Work out known hurdles before you arrive to the holiday event. Family dynamics often have predictable friction points – whether it’s a difference in political views, sibling rivalries or unresolved conflicts. Identify these hurdles in advance and decide how to approach them.
“For instance, if you anticipate a certain topic will come up, plan a calm response or rehearse setting a boundary,” Alford said. “If you’re traveling with a partner or children, discuss how you’ll handle challenging moments as a team. The goal is to minimize surprises and feel equipped to manage potential stressors.” 2.Come prepared with a list of topics you’re ready and willing to talk about (and off-limits subjects, too!). Having a mental (or physical!) list of neutral or positive conversation topics can keep the mood light and engaging, Alford said.
“Think about shared hobbies, family memories or recent accomplishments,” she said. “At the same time, identify subjects that are off-limits for you – like contentious debates or sensitive personal matters – and practice polite ways to redirect or deflect those conversations. For example, you could say, ‘I’d rather not get into that today. Tell me about your new garden!’ Preparation is key to feeling in control of the dialogue.” 3.Set a mantra for your intention. Repeat often. Alford suggests anchoring yourself with a phrase or saying that aligns with your values and goals for the event. For example, “I will stay calm and kind,” or “I am here to connect, not to control.” Repeat this mantra to yourself whenever you feel stress creeping in.
“It acts as a mental reset and helps you respond intentionally rather than react impulsively. Over time, this practice can shift your mindset and create a buffer against family tension,” Alford said. View her profile 4.Take breaks when you feel things going off the rails. Recognizing when you’re overwhelmed is a vital skill. If emotions are running high, excuse yourself for a breather. A short walk, stepping outside for fresh air, or even taking an extended “bathroom break” can provide the time you need to decompress and regroup.
“Use this break to practice deep breathing, text a supportive friend or simply enjoy a few moments of solitude. Returning with a clearer head can prevent escalation and help you maintain your composure,” Alford said. 5.Stand up for your needs. Don’t abandon yourself! While family gatherings often involve compromise, Alford said it’s important not to sacrifice your emotional well-being. If a situation feels uncomfortable or hurtful, express your needs calmly but firmly, she said. For example, “I feel uncomfortable when this is discussed. Let’s talk about something else.”
“Prioritize your mental health and remember that it’s okay to say no, step away or leave early if necessary. Standing up for yourself sends a clear message that your feelings matter and reinforces healthy boundaries,” Alford said. By addressing known hurdles in advance, curating conversation topics, setting personal intentions and taking mindful breaks when needed, Alford said family members can create a buffer against tension and foster meaningful connections.
“At the same time, standing up for your needs and setting boundaries helps preserve your emotional well-being,” she said. “With these strategies, you’ll be better equipped to approach holiday events with confidence and calm.”
