Are Birth Mothers Satisfied with Their Decisions to Place Children for Adoption? Time Will Tell, Study Says

Oct 22, 2018

5 min

Baylor research reveals effects of time, age, education and income on birth mothers’ satisfaction following ‘life-altering’ decision


research findings from Baylor University’s Diana R. Garland School of Social Work could change the adoption landscape for birth mothers struggling with the life-altering decision to place their children.


There is consensus among adoption researchers that for many birth mothers the experience of placing their children for adoption brings feelings of grief, loss, shame, guilt, remorse and isolation. Any level of satisfaction (or lack thereof) in such a decision varies. But how is that level of satisfaction – that feeling that the right decision was made – affected by time?


“Little is known about the interaction of these two variables,” said Elissa Madden, Ph.D., associate professor of social work at Baylor and lead author of the study, "The Relationship Between Time and Birth Mother Satisfaction with Relinquishment." Much of Madden’s research focuses on the birth mother experience in the adoption process – an area, she said, has historically been underrepresented.


“This article seeks to address a clear void in the literature,” she said, “and we hope it has some implications for future practices and adoption policies.”

The research, published in the journal Families in Society, centers on data from an online survey of 223 birth mothers who had relinquished an infant for adoption during the last 25 years. This time period was selected because it reflects an increased acceptance and emphasis on open adoption arrangements between birth and adoptive parents, according to the study.


Of those surveyed, nearly seven out of 10 reported periodic contact with the adopted child; most parents (94 percent) reported only a single child relinquished; a majority (56 percent) parented other children after the relinquishment; and on a scale of 1 to 5, participants reported a mean satisfaction with relinquishment score of 3.11.


Among the study’s findings:


1. Satisfaction is not static.


While many birth mothers reported satisfaction with their decision, the findings show that the more time that has passed since the birth mothers placed their child, the less overall satisfaction some birth mothers felt. Some prior research suggests birth mothers’ grief and adjustment attenuates with the passage of time. However, the researchers note “the findings of this analysis highlight the importance of not confusing birth mother’s satisfaction with her decision and the feelings of loss that she may feel about the placement.”


A birth mother may feel she made the right decision regarding placement and yet still experience ongoing feelings of loss and grief even years later, Madden said.


2. Age had an inverse relationship with satisfaction.


“As with time since the relinquishment, age of the respondents predicted an incremental decrease in satisfaction for every year they have aged,” researchers wrote. “It may be that the distance afforded by time, along with the internal resources and perspective that often comes with age, may have provided an opportunity for birth mothers to look back and reflect on what could have been.”


3. Higher education and higher income led to decreased satisfaction.


“It is possible that birth mothers who have achieved educational and/or financial success may now feel dissatisfaction with their decision to place their child as they now believe, in retrospect, that they would have been able to acquire sufficient resources necessary to successfully parent their child,” researchers wrote.

Additionally, the researchers noted that some birth mothers may feel that educational and financial success may have been achieved “at the expense of their opportunity to parent their child.”


4. Birth mothers who have current contact with their child were more likely to express satisfaction with their decision.


“Prior research suggests that for some birth mothers, having contact with the child helps reduce feelings of anxiety about the child’s life and well-being, worries they may be having about the child feeling abandoned, and/or guilt about their decision,” the researchers wrote.


5. Birth mothers who work full-time were more likely to express increased satisfaction.


“While the rationale for this finding is not immediately clear,” the researchers wrote, “it is possible that birth mothers who are employed full-time have achieved personal fulfillment or otherwise found success through their employment. It is also possible that for some birth mothers, there is recognition that they have less time or perhaps fewer resources for parenting and thus are more satisfied with their decision to place their child.”


What are the implications of this research?


Madden said there are long-term consequences for all members of the adoption triad – birth mothers, those seeking to adopt, and adoptees. She said, specifically, that adoption professionals need to be well-versed in the positive and negative repercussions for birth mothers.


“Adoption professionals must be especially attuned to the needs and concerns of expectant mothers who seek their counsel, as many lack a full understanding of their options,” Madden said, reflecting on her earlier research.


Madden and her fellow researchers believe this study and others like it could lead to changes in the adoption process. They suggest:


  • Annual “grief and loss” training for adoption professionals
  • State and federal policies ensuring birth mothers have access to ongoing post-relinquishment support services
  • Free grief support groups for all birth mothers
  • Adoption of national standards to ensure that expectant mothers and prospective adoptive parents receive standardized information detailing the benefits of ongoing post-adoption contact
  • Stipends for expectant mothers to hire independent legal counsel to represent the mothers at the relinquishment and during sensitive discussion regarding post-adoption contact


ABOUT THE STUDY

"The Relationship Between Time and Birth Mother Satisfaction with Relinquishment" is published in the journal Families in Society. Authors are Elissa Madden, Ph.D., associate professor, Diana R. Garland School of Social Work, Baylor University; Scott Ryan, Ph.D., professor and dean, School of Social Work, University of Texas at Arlington; Donna M. Aguiniga, Ph.D., associate professor, School of Social Work, University of Alaska – Anchorage; Michael Killian, Ph.D., assistant professor, School of Social Work, University of Texas at Arlington; and Brenda Romanchik, L.C.S.W., independent practitioner.


ABOUT BAYLOR UNIVERSITY

Baylor University is a private Christian University and a nationally ranked research institution. The University provides a vibrant campus community for more than 17,000 students by blending interdisciplinary research with an international reputation for educational excellence and a faculty commitment to teaching and scholarship. Chartered in 1845 by the Republic of Texas through the efforts of Baptist pioneers, Baylor is the oldest continually operating University in Texas. Located in Waco, Baylor welcomes students from all 50 states and more than 80 countries to study a broad range of degrees among its 12 nationally recognized academic divisions.


ABOUT DIANA R. GARLAND SCHOOL OF SOCIAL WORK

Baylor University’s Diana R. Garland School of Social Work is home to one of the leading graduate social work programs in the nation with a research agenda focused on the integration of faith and practice. Upholding its mission of preparing social workers in a Christian context for worldwide service and leadership, the School offers a baccalaureate degree (B.S.W.), a Master of Social Work (M.S.W.) degree and three joint-degree options, M.S.W./M.B.A., M.S.W./M.Div. and M.S.W./M.T.S., through a partnership with Baylor’s Hankamer School of Business and George W. Truett Theological Seminary, and a Ph.D. program. Visit www.baylor.edu/social_work to learn more.




Powered by

You might also like...

Check out some other posts from Baylor University

Expert Perspective: Race and Representation Take Center Stage in Texas’ Democratic U.S. Senate Primary featured image

1 min

Expert Perspective: Race and Representation Take Center Stage in Texas’ Democratic U.S. Senate Primary

As Texas Democrats head toward a competitive 2026 U.S. Senate primary, conversations about race and representation are playing a visible role in the campaign. In a recent Spectrum News segment, Baylor University political analyst Dr. Mia Moody discusses how racial identity, voter perceptions, and candidate messaging are influencing the dynamics of the race. Mia Moody, Ph.D., is a professor and former chair of the Department of Journalism, Public Relations, and New Media in the Baylor University College of Arts & Sciences. She is a nationally recognized expert on mass media and image repair, intersectionality, critical race theory, and the media framing of women and people of color. View her profile The story explores how candidates are navigating issues of representation within a diverse Democratic electorate, and how those discussions could impact turnout and coalition-building ahead of the primary. Watch the full report for expert insight into how race is shaping one of Texas’ most closely watched political contests. The full story is available below:

Tales of Christmas Past: Preserving Your Family History During the Holidays featured image

5 min

Tales of Christmas Past: Preserving Your Family History During the Holidays

During past family Christmas gatherings, many of us remember when older relatives regaled everyone with tales about their fascinating life stories, firsthand experiences as an eyewitness to history or simply sharing how favorite family traditions started. So how do you preserve those precious family memories during the holidays? Baylor University oral historians Stephen Sloan and Adrienne Cain Darough have recorded and preserved the oral history memoirs of thousands of individuals through their work with Baylor’s renowned Institute for Oral History, home of the national Oral History Association. Together, the historians share seven simple best practices to help family members begin oral history conversations that enrich recollections of the past and capture your family memories. “The holiday season brings about the opportunity to spend time with family members, especially those you may not be able to see on a frequent basis,” Cain Darough said. “This presents the perfect opportunity to conduct oral histories to capture the stories and experiences of your family and loved ones, to learn more about them, the history of your family, traditions that have been passed down from generation to generation and more.” Seven best practices for preserving your family’s oral history 1. Ask first! Make sure your family member wants their story to be documented or recorded. That is the first – and most important – question to ask, said Adrienne Cain Darough, M.L.S., assistant director and senior lecturer with the Institute for Oral History. Ask first. “Many oral historians have run into the spot where someone says, ‘Oh, my grandpa would be great for that topic,’ and you get there and it's, ‘Grandpa does not want to talk to you.’ So first, make sure they want their story recorded,” she said. 2. Determine the type of recording equipment you want to use. Decide if you want to record your interview with an audio recorder or use a video recording device. It all depends on your needs and comfort level with the technology. For family members who are unable to travel this holiday season, you can include them by capturing their stories using a remote recording platform like Zoom, which became a vital tool for oral historians when COVID struck in 2020. Helpful resources from Baylor’s Institute for Oral History include: How to choose the right digital recorder Oral History at a Distance webinar on the dynamics of conducting remote oral history interviews Remote Interviewing Resources guide (Oral History Association) 3. Research your family member’s life and their timeline to help you formulate your questions. Recording a family member’s oral history is more than just putting down a recorder in front of them and saying, “Talk.” If you’re recording an oral history over Christmas with a family member, are there specific things that you want to know that are related to the holiday? For example, what was Christmas morning like for them as a child? How did your favorite family traditions start? What is their favorite holiday dish? (Maybe they could even share the recipe. “You can finally learn why Nana’s banana pudding doesn’t even have bananas in it,” Cain Darough said.) “Doing your research to try to form those questions will help you get around the reluctance to talk sometimes,” Cain Darough added. “The favorite thing that I love to hear is, ‘Oh, I don't have much to say,’ or ‘I'm not that important.’ And then you sit down with them, and you listen to their stories, and your mind is just blown by the things that they've seen and experienced.” 4. Start with the basics: “Where are you from?” When Baylor oral historians conduct an interview, they generally begin with some life history of the subject, providing important context for historians. “Ask questions early on that are easy for them to answer: a little bit of the backstory, a little bit of where they're from, where they grew up,” said Stephen Sloan, Ph.D., director of the Institute for Oral History, executive director of Oral History Association and professor of history at Baylor. “I want to understand the lens through which they experienced events, and the only way I can do that is, who was this? What was formative in their life growing up? Who spoke into who they were? What did they learn? Where did they go? What did they do? Those are the sorts of things that I would be exploring early in the interview.” One of the questions Cain Darough enjoys asking is, “What did you want to be when you grew up?” “You want to give them something that's very easy and comfortable to talk about,” Cain Darough said. “What was your favorite subject in school, just to see if that was something that continued on in their life. If there's a certain hobby or something that you know that they're affiliated with, when did you learn about that? Tell me more. What's your interest with this? And then they'll get to talking.” 5. Ask open-ended questions – without making any assumptions. With oral history, it is important that you don’t go into the interview with a specific agenda or try to lead anyone to a certain conclusion. “We can do this very subtly by assuming information, but you can't assume anything about their experience with the topic,’” Sloan said. “If we assume information, it could be very far from how they encountered whatever event that may have been. Allow them to relate the ways in which they lived these experiences.” 6. Listen closely. Listening is an important facet of gathering oral history. But historians say you are not only listening for what they're saying, you're also listening for what they're not saying. “Are there things that are being skipped around?” Cain Darough said. “For example, sometimes when you're talking to veterans about their combat experience, it may be the first time that they're reliving or retelling these stories. They need time, and you just have to be prepared for that.” 7. Be patient. It might take your subject some time to warm up to the conversation. “If you're talking to someone who is 80, 90 or even 100, that's a lot of memories that they have to go through, so patience is important,” Cain Darough said. Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply click on Stephen's icon or contact: Shelby Cefaratti-Bertin today to connect with  Adrienne Cain Darough.

Reviving the Christmas Spirit: Forgotten Christmas Traditions to Reclaim the Christmas Season featured image

3 min

Reviving the Christmas Spirit: Forgotten Christmas Traditions to Reclaim the Christmas Season

Christmas is just around the corner and many families have already decorated their homes and started celebrating their Christmas traditions – but many stores have had their Christmas products out for months. This early bombardment of holiday advertisements and adornments often takes away from the excitement. So how do you recapture the true spirit of Christmas? Baylor University Honors College professor Michael Foley, Ph.D., who teaches in the Great Texts Program, has researched the history of common Christmas traditions and uncovered forgotten customs. “Christmas is indeed the most wonderful time of year, and that wonder is increased when we understand why we do the things we do,” Foley said. “Our delight in the season becomes greater when we appreciate the history and symbolism of the Christmas tree or why we kiss under the mistletoe.” Foley shares three practices to recapture the essence of Christmas and bring more joy to the season for your family. Enjoy the 12 Days of Christmas Historically, the season of Advent during the weeks leading up to Christmas was a period of joyful restraint and preparation. During the Twelve Days of Christmas, from Christmas Day on Dec. 25 to the Feast of the Epiphany on Jan. 6, people would celebrate a release with a continuous period of leisure and merriment. “Today, the Christmas season seems to start earlier and earlier each year. In the 20th century, the commercial season began the day after Thanksgiving, but now stores inundate the market with Christmas decorations much earlier,” Foley said. “The problem with this arrangement is that by the time Christmas finally comes, you’re tired of it. The older model has an organic build-up to the big day and then a great, 12-day release.” Returning to a slower-paced season full of cheerful spirits in the 12 days following Christmas is a way to recenter, refocus and reignite your Christmas spirit, Foley said. Capture the Joy of Incarnation It’s easy to get caught up in the festivities and pressure of the holiday, but it is also important to return to the reason behind Christmas, Foley said, and take time to understand the meaning behind what seem like meaningless customs. “The best traditions capture the fact that God became man in order to redeem us from our sins out of sheer love for us,” he said. Practices like caroling and gathering with family for food and drink are all acts of gratitude and joy that can remind us of God’s love. What may seem like typical holiday decorations, the holly wreath and the Christmas tree, are actually symbols of Christ bringing new life, Foley said. Embrace the Bizarre Today, Christmas is surrounded by a light, cheery feeling. But history tells us that there has always been a certain “dark side” of Christmas. “There is a reason why Ebenezer Scrooge was visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve,” Foley said. “All of winter was the season of fiends, and they were not happy that the winter solstice around Christmas Day marked the beginning of the end of the long dark nights and that Jesus Christ was born and triumphed over evil.” Other traditions involve swapping places with someone such as a parent and child, abbots and novices, or men and women. “At one time, this custom of inverted social roles played an important role in gaining clarity and releasing tension in a hierarchical society,” Foley said. While this might seem useless, impractical, or even pointless today, it can still offer value to the Christmas joy. “These inversion customs are a giddy imitation of the ultimate inversion in all of history,” Foley said. “That Almighty God chose to become a little baby in a measly manger.” Although some forgotten customs might seem odd to us today, there can be a certain kind of wisdom behind them – a wisdom that leads us back to the true spirit of Christmas, Foley said. After all, even Ebenezer Scrooge was able to find joy in Christmas again. Michael Foley is a Professor of Patristics in the Honors College at Baylor University and the author of 17 books, including Why We Kiss under the Mistletoe: Christmas Traditions Explained. Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply contact: Shelby Cefaratti-Bertin today.

View all posts