Fear Of Running Out (FORO)

How neuroscience explains how we sabotage spending in retirement

Mar 28, 2025

10 min

Sue Pimento

Summary: The article explores the Fear of Running Out (FORO), a psychological phenomenon that stems from anxiety about resource scarcity, particularly in retirement. FORO is especially common among seniors who fear depleting their financial, physical, or emotional resources as they age. Unlike FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), FORO focuses on the depletion of existing assets, often leading to cautious decision-making, delayed spending, or self-sabotaging behaviours like excessive frugality or social withdrawal. While some instances of FORO are valid—such as retirees who underestimated their living expenses—others are more psychological, with financially secure individuals still feeling paralyzed by fear and unable to enjoy their retirement fully.  There are practical solutions, but they require more than just emotional support.  We also need to address the lack of formal retirement planning and literacy.  Most retirees have insufficient knowledge about tax-efficient asset drawdowns, and the limited guidance from financial institutions exacerbates these fears.


We’ve all heard of FOMO (fear of missing out)—that nagging anxiety when everyone else seems to be at a fabulous party while you’re at home scrolling through social media, eating last night’s leftovers straight from the container.


As we age, the fears we carry evolve—and for some, they get a little louder, quirkier, and much more challenging to ignore. A unique set of acronyms has emerged for older adults to describe these creeping anxieties. Allow me to introduce you to the unholy trinity of aging fears:


FOGO (Fear of Getting Old): This one typically kicks in around our mid-to-late 50s when the realization hits and panic sets in: "Wait... I’m not young anymore?" Have I saved enough? Have I experienced enough? Am I running out of time? Cue the classic symptoms: splurging on bright red sports cars, embarking on bucket-list trips to exotic locales, or dating someone who knows what "Netflix and chill" really means, not cozying up with a movie. And yes, sometimes while still married. It’s all part of the "midlife crisis" package—a desperate attempt to outrun Father Time. But let’s be honest: The comb-over isn’t fooling anyone.


FOBO (Fear of Being Old): This stage sneaks in during your 70s, as your "best before" date blinks ominously on life’s metaphorical packaging. Many enter into a state of "defensive denial," 

refusing to acknowledge their age or any limitations, insisting they are still as capable as ever, even when struggling with specific tasks.  In this stage, people can demonstrate "overcompensation - Desperately trying to prove they’re still youthful.  Many will refuse to use mobility aids or decline assistance from family or caregivers out of pride.  Others will shut down anyone who dares to suggest they are old. “Me? Old? Please. I just got a brand-new hip last year!”


FORO (Fear of Running Out): Now we get to the show's real star. FORO enters the spotlight as you thoughtfully consider retirement and suddenly takes over the plot. It’s the fear of running out—of money, energy, time, or maybe even snacks at movie night. This one’s a relentless buzz in the background of every decision, from how you spend your savings to whether you should buy name-brand peanut butter or settle for the generic jar. If left unchecked, FORO can steal the joy out of today by worrying too much about tomorrow. We have all heard the stories of people passing away with millions of dollars in the bank, yet they lived in squalor, afraid to spend their money.


Now, FORO can manifest in all kinds of ways. Some are almost funny in hindsight. Remember the pandemic toilet paper wars of 2020? Or that panic at a party when you’re convinced you don’t have enough food for your guests, only to find yourself drowning in leftovers? But for seniors in retirement, FORO often takes on a much more serious tone—like running out of money, energy, or health as the years go by. These thoughts can be terrifying for the aged. 


And sometimes, this fear is warranted. Imagine a retiree who underestimated their living expenses, burned through savings too quickly, and now faces the stark reality of financial insecurity. That’s a legitimate case of FORO that demands attention, planning, and maybe a shift in lifestyle.


But other times, FORO is more like a shadow in the dark—unsettling at first glance but harmless once illuminated. For example, some seniors with reasonable pensions, savings, and even supplemental income streams might still be too paralyzed by the fear of running out to take that dream vacation or help their grandchildren with school. In this situation, it is doubtful that there will ever be enough. This type of FORO can cause harm through neglect. This unfounded FORO can keep people from genuinely thriving during their golden years.


There are well-documented cases of individuals who have perished from thirst in the desert while carrying full bottles of water. They were too frightened of running out of water to save their lives by drinking it. Most of us shake our heads and think we would never do that, but FORO represents a compelling fear that can lead to self-sabotaging behaviours. If FORO could result in death in the aforementioned desert scenario, how might it influence decisions regarding our significant assets, such as our homes? Unfortunately, many retirees pinch pennies and go without while living in homes with considerable equity, refusing to access it for fear of running out (FORO).


So, how do we know when FORO is a valid warning signal and when it’s just a psychological hurdle? And, more importantly, how can we tackle this fear to ensure it doesn’t stand in the way of living a joyful, fulfilled retirement? Read on; we’ll dive deeper into the concept of FORO—why it exists, how it can sneak into our decision-making, and, most importantly, actionable strategies to manage it.


Remember, your golden years shouldn’t be ruled by fear—they should be a time to shine.


The Fear of Running Out (FORO) is a psychological concept rooted in anxiety about scarcity or insufficiency, particularly concerning essential resources like money, time, or opportunities. It's akin to FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), but instead emphasizes the anxiety of depleting one's existing resources rather than worrying about missed experiences.


While FORO has not been as widely studied as FOMO in academic circles, the term has gained traction in financial and psychological contexts, particularly regarding retirement planning, economic behaviour, and decision-making. Although it’s unclear who explicitly popularized the term “Fear of Running Out,” it has become a recurring theme in financial planning discussions and among behavioural psychologists studying how individuals manage uncertainty and risk.


The Psychology of FORO


FORO is deeply rooted in psychological concepts of scarcity and loss aversion, both key ideas in behavioural economics. Loss aversion, central to Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky’s prospect theory, highlights that the pain of losing something outweighs the joy of gaining an equivalent amount. In the context of retirement, the fear of running out of money reflects this principle—financial depletion carries the weight of losing essential aspects like security, independence, and quality of life, making it feel particularly distressing.


The work of researchers like Eldar Shafir and Senthil Mullainathan on the scarcity mindset further illuminates this phenomenon. They suggest that when people are preoccupied with avoiding resource depletion, they often develop tunnel vision, focusing narrowly on the immediate issue. For seniors worried about outliving their savings, this can manifest as excessive caution or hesitation in deciding to spend or draw down resources, even when such concerns may not be warranted. Faced with this dilemma, some seniors develop inertia, choose to do nothing, and ignore the situation altogether.


According to a 2024 report by the Ontario Securities Commission, 13% of pre-retirees and 19% of retirees among Canadians aged 50 and older have a formal written retirement plan, which is a significant cause for concern.


This reflects a widespread lack of structured financial and retirement literacy. Without a clear strategy, many individuals may not fully understand how to manage their resources effectively throughout retirement, particularly when it comes to de-accumulating (spending) assets in a tax-efficient manner. We can quickly start to see why many older Canadians have FORO.


One key issue is that minimal accessible information exists on strategies for drawing down retirement savings to minimize taxes while ensuring long-term financial security. For example, the timing and order in which individuals withdraw from registered accounts like RRSPs, TFSAs, non-registered investments, or access their home equity can dramatically impact their overall tax burden and available income in retirement. Unfortunately, this type of guidance is often overlooked in financial planning resources, leaving most retirees guessing how much money is enough.


The financial industry also contributes to this gap. Banks and many financial advisors are primarily compensated through commissions tied to the sale and management of investments, such as mutual funds or other financial products. This model does not incentivize them to provide comprehensive advice on strategically spending down savings. As a result, many seniors are left without the critical guidance they need to navigate the complexities of de-accumulation, leading to suboptimal emotionally driven decisions and increased financial stress.


This lack of tailored advice is particularly problematic for Canadians who rely on paying off their homes as their primary financial plan. While homeownership is a valuable asset, it is not liquid, and converting it into usable retirement income can be challenging without proper planning. The fear of running out of money (FORO) becomes especially acute for these individuals, as they may not have the financial and retirement literacy or tools to make informed decisions about how to fund their retirement, especially concerning using home equity.


In short, the low prevalence of formal retirement plans, insufficient education on tax-efficient de-accumulation, and the misaligned incentives of financial institutions significantly disadvantage seniors. This gap exacerbates financial insecurity and leaves many retirees vulnerable to the psychological and practical challenges of FORO, particularly those who rely on home equity, an illiquid asset, as their primary financial safety net.


Addressing these issues requires a broader emphasis on financial and retirement literacy and unbiased, accessible advice tailored to retirees' unique needs.



Key Components of FORO:


1. Scarcity Mindset—Seniors facing FORO might develop a scarcity mindset, which can lead to overly frugal behaviours. For example, they may reduce spending on essential support services or forego social activities to protect their savings, even when financially secure.


2. Emotional Triggers—FORO is tied to deeper emotional needs like safety, independence, and legacy. At its core is the fear that people will have nowhere to live, won’t have enough money to care for themselves, and will not have any money left to leave a legacy.


3. Decision Paralysis - FORO can cause retirees to delay allocating resources, from downsizing a home to sourcing pension-type income. This indecision can lead to missed opportunities or unnecessary sacrifices.


4. Overcompensation—In some cases, the fear of running out can lead to self-sabotage behaviours like hoarding money or withdrawing from social activities. These behaviours reduce quality of life and increase feelings of isolation.


The Solution:


A comprehensive approach that combines emotional support, practical planning, and mindset adjustments is essential to helping retirees overcome FORO. By addressing their fears and financial realities, they can gain the confidence to enjoy their retirement years without worrying about running out of money.


1. Acknowledgement and Understanding - Listen and empathize: Begin by genuinely listening to the retiree's concerns, recognizing that FORO is an emotional issue tied to deep-seated fears about security and independence.


Normalize the fear: Reassure them that the fear of running out of money is common, especially in retirement. Explain the reasons behind this fear:

  • Retirees often can’t return to work to supplement income.
  • Lifespans and healthcare costs are unpredictable, creating uncertainty.
  • The transition from accumulating wealth to spending it feels unnatural to many.


2. Develop a Retirement Spending Plan—Create a tailored plan. Outline a sustainable spending strategy aligning with the client's lifestyle, goals, and resources:

  • Leverage expertise: Collaborate with their bank manager or financial advisor to develop a realistic budget covering essential and discretionary expenses.
  • Focus on balance: Establish a balance between meeting current needs and maintaining future security.


3. Generate Pension-Like Income - Explore income solutions: Help them research ways to create predictable income streams, such as:

  • Purchasing an annuity to convert part of their savings or equity into guaranteed income.
  • Consider equity mortgage products for additional cash flow if they have sufficient home equity.
  • Address misconceptions: Explain how these tools can reduce uncertainty and provide peace of mind.


4. Emergency Fund - Health care may be needed later in life and can be costly. Setting money aside for unexpected expenses will offer great comfort and peace of mind.


5. Mindset Shifts - Reframe perspectives: Encourage retirees to focus on the opportunities their resources provide rather than fixating on worst-case scenarios:

  • Promote enjoyment: Remind them that retirement is a time to enjoy the fruits of their labour, not live in constant fear. Highlight the importance of self-care and experiences that bring joy and fulfillment.


6.  Legacy Planning -  Address legacy concerns: Help them create an estate plan or designate resources for loved ones and causes they care about, ensuring their wishes are honoured:

  • Provide clarity: Show how planning for a legacy can reduce anxiety about leaving something behind while meeting their current needs.


The Fear of Running Out is more than just a financial concern—it’s a deeply emotional and psychological issue for seniors facing the unpredictability of retirement. By addressing this fear in practical and empathetic ways, we can give retirees the tools and confidence to enjoy their golden years without worrying about depletion or feeling like they need to stockpile financial "water bottles" for a drought that may never come.


And there you have it—FORO might be a formidable guest at the retirement table, but it doesn’t have to steal the show. By addressing the emotional roots of this fear, creating practical plans, and shifting the focus to what’s possible, retirees can turn their golden years into precisely that: golden. Remember, retirement isn’t about tiptoeing around scarcity; it’s about celebrating a lifetime of hard work and savouring the moments that make life rich. So, let’s leave FORO in the shadows where it belongs and step confidently into a retirement that truly shines.


And let’s be honest, no one wants their legacy to read: "Lived frugally, died rich, and missed the Boat to the Caribbean."



Don't retire---Re-Wire!


Sue

Connect with:
Sue Pimento

Sue Pimento

Founder | CEO

Focused on financial literacy and retirement strategies. Authoring new book on home equity strategies to help seniors find financial freedom

Pension ReformInterest RatesHome EquityMortgagesReverse Mortgages

You might also like...

Check out some other posts from Retire with Equity

5 min

Federal Budget 2025: What's In It for Canadian Seniors?

Let's be honest: the word "budget" probably makes you want to take a nap. Or pour a stiff drink. Maybe both. We spent decades pinching pennies, brown-bagging lunches, and watching every dollar so we could finally retire and stop thinking about money every waking minute. Now here I am, telling you to read about a government budget. I know. I'm sorry. But stick with me—I promise to make this as painless (and possibly entertaining) as possible. Why You Should Care About the 2025 Federal Budget (Even If You Really Don't Want To) Some of you hate talking about money. I get it. But here's the thing: information is power, and denial isn't just a river in Africa (give it a second to land)—it creates unnecessary ignorance and real missed opportunities to regain some control over your financial life. Plus, this budget affects your kids and grandkids too. So even if you're sitting pretty, the people you love might not be. The Economy Right Now: A Very Quick Explainer You've probably noticed everything costs more. A lot more. Welcome to inflation, courtesy of today's tariff-happy trade wars. (And if you want a deeper dive into how inflation affects more than just your wallet, check out my earlier piece: "Inflation: It's not just for prices anymore".) Here's the short version: When governments slap tariffs on imported goods (think: "You want to sell your stuff here? Pay up!"), Companies pass those costs directly to you at checkout. Your grocery bill goes up. Your heating costs rise. Even that new garden hose costs more because, apparently, everything comes from somewhere else now. So when you're living on a fixed income—CPP, OAS, maybe some RRIF withdrawals—and prices keep climbing while your income stays flat, that's a problem. A big one. Enter: the federal budget. It's basically Ottawa's financial to-do list: where they'll spend money, what they'll cut, and (theoretically) how they plan to make your life easier. Or at least less expensive. What's Actually In This Federal Budget Thing (The Good Parts Only) I've waded through the charts, jargon, and multi-billion-dollar announcements so you don't have to. Here's what matters to you: 1. Your House: Now it's a Potential ATM Remember when turning your basement into a rental suite sounded expensive and complicated? Ottawa heard you. The Secondary Suite Loan Program is expanded: Borrow up to $80,000 at 2% interest (15-year term) to build a basement apartment, garden suite, or in-law unit.  The refinancing rules are also relaxed: You can now refinance up to 90% of your home's post-renovation value to fund these projects. Translation: You can turn unused space into monthly rental income, house a caregiver, or create a spot for family—all while boosting your property value. It's like your house went to entrepreneurship school. For more on Additional Dwelling Units (ADUs), check out this post. 2. Slightly Less Painful Tax Season Ottawa is cutting the base federal tax rate for modest-income earners and cancelling the consumer carbon price on heating fuels. Translation: If you're still working part-time or living on CPP + OAS + RRIF withdrawals, expect slightly lower deductions and cheaper heating bills starting this winter. We're talking maybe $30–$50 more per month—not a windfall, but enough to buy groceries without wincing at the checkout. 3. Health Care: Maybe, Possibly, Getting Better The budget includes more money for provinces to spend on health care and long-term care reform. The goal? Shorter wait times and expanded home-care programs. Translation: The government says they're helping seniors age at home with dignity. Whether that actually happens depends on your province not blowing the money on consultants and photo ops. Keep your eyes on provincial announcements for new or expanded home-care subsidies. 4. Your Savings: Slightly Less Likely to Evaporate Budget 2025 confirmed Canada has the lowest debt-to-GDP ratio in the G7. They're also cracking down on bank fraud and scams targeting seniors. Translation: Lower national debt helps keep interest rates and inflation under control, protecting the real value of your fixed income. And Ottawa is finally recognizing that scammers love targeting retirees. (If you haven't already, read my piece on The Rise in Grandparent Scams—it's eye-opening.) About time. Watch for my upcoming article on a recent senior scam making the rounds—and my assessment of how banks can do much more to protect seniors.  5. $60 Billion in "Savings" (Don't Panic) You'll hear politicians bragging about cutting $60 billion. Before you worry they're gutting CPP or OAS, relax. They're trimming their own bureaucracy—less middle management, more digital tools, fewer wasteful meetings about meetings. Translation: They're supposedly spending less on themselves so they can spend more on things that matter—like housing, health care, and infrastructure. Whether they actually pull this off remains to be seen, but at least they're talking about it. So What Does All This Actually Mean? Look, I won't pretend this budget is a game-changer. It's not. But it does offer a few smart moves if you're willing to act. And let's remember: this is Carney's first budget. Changing financial policy and spending priorities takes time—and some patience on our part. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is a functional federal budget that actually helps everyday Canadians. Review your home equity. Could an ADU loan help you age in place and generate income? Audit your expenses annually. Cutting $100/month in spending equals roughly $1,500 in pre-tax income. That's real money. Stay vigilant against scams. Government protection is nice, but it starts with you not clicking sketchy emails and text messages. Ask about tax credits. Low-income seniors may qualify for increased refundable credits under provincial top-ups this year. This isn't a flashy budget. There are no big checks in the mail. But it does signal a shift toward pragmatism: help Canadians stay housed, healthy, and financially secure while Ottawa tightens its own belt. For Canadians 55+, that means: Slightly lower everyday costs More options to create income from your home Continued investment in health and home care A more stable economy to protect your savings Progress? Maybe. One cautious, bureaucratic step at a time. Your Next Move Take 30 minutes this week to think through how these programs could fit into your life. Could an ADU loan make aging in place possible? Could refinancing free up cash flow? Small adjustments now = big peace of mind later. And that's what being hit, fit, and financially free is all about. And hey—you just read an entire article about a government budget. Voluntarily. That deserves recognition. Go ahead, brag about it. You've earned it. Now go enjoy your retirement. You've definitely earned that too. Sue Don’t Retire…Re-Wire!!!

7 min

Why Brokers Are Canada’s New Mortgage Rockstars

There’s a quiet revolution happening in Canadian mortgage lending—well, as “quiet” as anything can be when two-thirds of Canadians are shouting, “We’d rather deal with a broker than a bank!” According to the most recent Mortgage Professionals Canada (MPC) Consumer Survey, 67% of Canadians now say they’d rather work with a mortgage broker than a bank. Among those who already have? A whopping 81% would do it again. That’s not just a statistic. That’s a standing ovation. The Great Mortgage Broker Boom According to recent MPC data, broker market share reached 33% in 2024—a four-point increase in just two years. Nearly half of all borrowers now choose brokers. The message is clear: Canadians are tired of sales reps; they want advocates who speak human, not policy manual. And who can blame them? With 1.2 million mortgages renewing in 2025 and average payments increasing by $513 a month, people aren’t just rate-shopping anymore—they’re seeking guidance, reassurance, and maybe a bit of hope. Let’s face it: they want their cake and still be able to heat their home too. Why This Matters—Especially for Seniors I work with Canadians aged 55+ every day, and about three-quarters of them are homeowners. They’ve done everything right: worked hard, paid off debt, raised families, and built wealth through their homes. But now, many feel… trapped by them. Here’s the reality: Mortgage renewals are costing hundreds more monthly (some facing 15–20% jumps) Inflation is eating into fixed incomes; and downsizing, aging in place, or tapping into home equity all feel like high-stakes decisions. Almost 80% of Canadians over 55 say their savings and pensions aren’t enough. (Source: Home Equity Bank Ipsos Survey) According to this same survey, half of respondents believe home equity is crucial for retirement—yet 76% feel pressured to downsize even if they’d rather not trade their garden for a balcony (or their favourite hairdresser for whoever’s closest to the condo). What they don’t need: A one-size-fits-all sales pitch from someone who thinks “retirement” means early-bird specials and Sudoku marathons. What they do need: A mortgage broker who listens, educates, compares options, and helps them sleep at night—not just sign on the dotted line. The Missing Link: Transactional vs. Conversion Sales Traditional mortgages are what we call commodities, sold using a transactional method. In this approach, the need is obvious—the customer wants a mortgage—and the focus is on competing for the best price and terms. It’s fast, efficient, and, let’s be honest, a little impersonal. It’s the classic hammer-and-nail approach: every client looks like a nail, and the broker just keeps swinging rates and terms until something sticks. That may work for a first-time buyer chasing the cheapest five-year fix—but for seniors? It’s about as effective as putting a Band-Aid on a broken arm. The 55+ demographic doesn’t want a hammer. They want a conversation. They want to understand how to stretch their pension income, cover rising expenses, and prepare for life’s curveballs—like healthcare costs or home repairs—without feeling like they’re going backwards financially. That’s why this is not a transactional sale; it’s a conversion sale. A transactional sale happens when someone already wants what you’re selling—you’re just facilitating the purchase. A conversion sale, however, is when the client doesn’t yet believe they need or want what you’re offering. You’re not closing a deal; you’re changing a mindset. And that’s the secret sauce for brokers working with older Canadians. You’re not selling debt—you’re offering financial flexibility. You’re helping people reframe home equity from a “last resort” into a retirement resource. How Brokers Can Shift the Conversation Lead with empathy, not economics. Ask about life goals, not loan size. Do they want to age in place, help kids, or reduce financial stress? Start with why, then move to how. Rebrand the conversation. Words matter. “Mortgage” can feel like failure. Try “home-equity strategy” or “retirement cash-flow plan.” You’re not adding debt—you’re unlocking options. Talk cash flow, not contracts. Focus on income versus expenses, inflation resilience, and emergencies. Discuss how home equity can supplement pensions, create predictable, guaranteed income (like our parents had), and—most importantly—boost that all-important sleep score. Include the family. Adult children often play a major role. Involve them early—these are emotional, multi-generational conversations, not just financial ones. Educate, don’t sell. Show examples, calculators, and real-life case studies. Transparency earns trust—and trust is the true currency in a conversion sale. When brokers shift from “rate pitching” to “retirement planning,” they go from hammer-swingers to problem-solvers—and that’s where the real magic (and business growth) happens. What Mortgage Brokers Bring to the Table The broker market is projected to grow at a 5% CAGR through 2030, driven by consumers demanding personalization over cookie-cutter lending. And the reverse-mortgage space just got a serious glow-up. Home Trust Bank has just entered the market, announcing its new Equity Access Reverse Mortgage product at this week's Mortgage Professionals Conference in Ottawa. That brings the total to four active lenders in Canada’s reverse-mortgage space: HomeEquity Bank, Equitable Bank, Home Trust Bank, and Bloom Finance Company. More lenders mean more credibility—or, as I like to call it, street cred for seniors. The kind that lets retirees walk down the street (or the fairway) with a little swagger, knowing their financial toolkit has options. With more players in the mix comes more choice, sharper pricing, and—most importantly—a sense that reverse mortgage products have finally crossed over from “fringe” to financially fashionable.  Reverse mortgages are no longer the “we-don’t-talk-about-that” cousin at the financial family dinner—they’re sitting proudly at the adult table. The product is being normalized—treated as the legitimate, strategic retirement tool it has always been. So, brokers—be honest. Isn’t it time you caught up to the trend? Reverse mortgages have gone from taboo to totally credible. And if your clients still say, “We’re just not reverse-mortgage people,” that’s your cue to help them unpack that posture of financial marginalization. Because what they often mean is, “We don’t want to feel old, desperate, or dependent.” That’s not who they are—and that’s not what this product is. It’s not about retreating; it’s about reframing. Helping them see home equity as strength, not surrender. Because empowering clients to live comfortably, confidently, and cash-flow secure isn’t just good business—it’s the kind of advocacy that gives everyone involved a little swagger. Older Canadians Need Advocates—Not Just Advisors As a spokesperson for this group, I urge brokers to master Equity Literacy—the ability to explain complex tools like reverse mortgages and HELOCs in plain language. It’s about helping retirees access equity wisely, preserve benefits, and create peace of mind. Canadian reverse-mortgage debt reached $8.2 billion in mid-2024—an 18.3% year-over-year increase. (Source: Office of the Superintendent of Financial Institutions - OSFI). Canadians are catching on: their house can help them, not haunt them (could not resist the Halloween joke). Help seniors understand the range of uses for Reverse Mortgages like paying off high-interest debt, helping family through early inheritance or gifting, and supplementing retirement income to maintain independence. And here’s where brokers can really shine—by guiding family conversations about inheritance, housing, and aging in place. According to CMHC’s 2025 Mortgage Consumer Survey, 41% of first-time buyers used a gift or inheritance to cover mortgage costs.  That's up from 30% the year before. Those gifts averaged nearly $80,000. The Bank of Mom & Dad just got promoted to Wealth Management HQ. To the Canadian mortgage broker industry You’re not just in the mortgage business—you’re in the dignity business. You help Canadians stay in their homes, reduce stress, and live comfortably in retirement. With home sales slowing and fewer purchase deals, this is your moment. Building expertise in the 55+ market isn’t just good karma—it’s good business. How to start: educate your database about equity-release benefits and tax-free cash flow; host workshops on “Aging in Place with Equity”; partner with financial planners, lawyers, healthcare providers—and yes, Realtors—to build a holistic approach to retirement housing. Involve adult children in every conversation; they’re tomorrow’s clients. The data says Canadians need you more than ever. And I’ll say it louder: so do I. Let’s make retirement planning better, smarter, and more human—one conversation at a time. So here’s the truth: the 55+ crowd doesn’t need rescuing—they need respect. They’re not clinging to the past; they’re funding their future. They don’t want pity; they want power—and they’ve earned it. This generation built Canada’s equity base—literally—and now it’s time they get to use it wisely, proudly, and on their own terms. Whether that means a new roof, a family gift, or finally taking that long-postponed trip to Italy, it’s not about borrowing money—it’s about buying freedom. So, brokers, financial pros, and anyone guiding retirees—remember: your role isn’t to sell products. It’s to spark possibilities. To help older Canadians move from fear to freedom, from “we’re not those people” to “why didn’t we do this sooner?” Because the real revolution in retirement isn’t about rates or renewals. It’s about reclaiming confidence, creating financially viable futures, and knowing you’ve made a real difference—something your clients will remember long after the ink dries. Trust me, that’s far more gratifying than handing out a 4.99% five-year fixed. I want to know what you think.  Send me your feedback.  Want more insights like this? Subscribe to my free newsletter here, where I share practical strategies, real-world stories, and straight talk about navigating retirement with confidence—not confusion. Plus, all subscribers get exclusive early access to advance chapters from my upcoming book. For Canadians 55+: Get actionable advice on making your home equity work for you, understanding your options, and living retirement on your terms. For Mortgage Brokers and Financial Professionals: Learn how to become the trusted advisor your 55+ clients desperately need (and will refer to everyone they know). This isn't just another revenue stream—it's your opportunity to build lasting relationships in Canada's fastest-growing demographic. Sue Don’t Retire…Re-Wire!

6 min

Who Decided 50 Means Beige Pants?

Recently, I was invited to my friend Paul's 80th birthday party. To his credit, he did it up right. We all dressed in an '80s theme, danced to '80s music, and he even hired a Michael Jackson impersonator. It was a blast—and it got me thinking. Why do we treat milestone birthdays as such big moments? And what flashes in your head when you read "80th birthday"? A rocking dance floor—or a rocking chair? The Big Deal About Big Birthday Numbers Somewhere along the way, we decided that birthdays ending in zero were cosmic mile-markers. Turn 50? Buy beige pants. Turn 70? Slow down. Turn 80? Put away your passport. Really? Who wrote this memo—and why weren't we asked to edit it? Here's the truth: age is a marker, not a mandate. You don't "have to" start coasting at 50. You might actually be hitting your stride. At 70, maybe you're still climbing mountains (literal or metaphorical). At 80, maybe it's not about stopping travel but upgrading to business class—because you've earned the legroom. The Year Before: A Release Valve Melissa Kirsch recently pointed out something fascinating in her recent New York Times article, "Banner Year: The Year Before a Milestone (39, 59, 79) Often Carries More Anticipation and Anxiety Than the Milestone Itself.  You're approaching the summit," full of pent-up energy and maybe even dread. And then you get there—and it's oddly a relief. You've crested the hill. The anticipation is gone. You're not nearing 70 anymore—you are 70. Sometimes naming the number feels like releasing a pressure valve. The Psychology of Birthday Milestones Humans love structure. We love mental reset buttons—New Year's Day, Mondays, and yes, milestone birthdays. Psychologists refer to it as the "fresh start effect." It's why we so often decide to start new habits after birthdays or holidays. But here's where it gets tricky: we often judge our progress against societal norms we've internalized without question. Be married by 30. Have kids by 40—career set by 50. Start winding work down by 60. Head to the bleachers by 70—health issues by 80. You get the point. These invisible benchmarks can make milestone birthdays feel less like celebrations and more like report cards. Instead of asking "What awed me this decade?" we ask "Why haven't I achieved X by now?" UC Berkley, Psychologist Dacher Keltner, in his book titled Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder, reminds us that awe is a muscle we can develop through experiences such as music, nature, crowds, or small acts of gratitude. What if we countered our harsh self-judgments with awe instead? What if milestone birthdays became moments to marvel at what we've experienced rather than tally what we haven't accomplished? Instead of seeing milestones as end points, why not use them as launchpads? At 50, instead of coasting, maybe you finally train for that half-marathon—or half-marathon Netflix binge—both count. At 70, you don't have to slow down—you might adjust the pace. Hike the mountain, but pack the good snacks. At 80, don't stop travelling—travel better. Upgrade your flight, book the tour guide, or better yet, let your grandkids carry the luggage. Milestones are invitations, not limitations. The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Age What we whisper to ourselves about aging matters. A lot! Psychologist Robert Merton coined the now infamous term "self-fulfilling prophecy": hold an expectation, behave as though it's true, and—voilà—it becomes true. Becca Levy's Stereotype Embodiment Theory at Yale demonstrates how cultural age stereotypes become internalized, ultimately affecting our physical, cognitive, and psychological well-being. Decades of research confirm it: people who view aging positively live 7.5 years longer on average than those who don't. Your expectations are literally a health factor.  So when we tell ourselves "70 means slowing down," guess what? We often slow down. But if we say, "70 means redirecting my energy," the body and mind rise to meet it. Real-Life Icons Who Didn't Get the Memo Need proof? Could you just look around? Barbara Walters retired at 84 and lived to 93. Andy Rooney continued to share his witty commentaries on 60 Minutes until the age of 92. Grandma Moses began painting in her 70s and built an entire art career. Laura Ingalls Wilder published her first Little House book in her 60s. Benjamin Franklin produced much of his most famous work after the age of 50.  These aren't exceptions. They're reminders that energy, purpose, and influence aren't tied to the number of candles. Beyond Decades: Other Ways of Marking Time Why are we so obsessed with zero-ending birthdays? Some ancient Greek philosophers suggested dividing life into seven-year stages. Other traditions slice life into "seasons" or chapters. Victor Hugo famously quipped: "Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age." I'd add: "Seventy is the mischievous middle age of wisdom, and eighty the encore tour." We may need to stop seeing decades as finish lines and start seeing them as chapters. The real story isn't the number—it's how you're writing the next page. Routines, Rituals, Traditions As I reflected on Paul's 80th birthday, I realized that birthdays are part of a bigger theme: how we structure our lives. We often use "routine," "ritual," and "tradition" interchangeably—but they aren't the same. Routines ground us—morning coffee, workouts, journaling. They stabilize our health and cater to every age group. These predictable patterns provide comfort, calmness, and a sense of direction. They're the scaffolding that holds our days together, especially during times of uncertainty or transition. And here's something beautiful: the best way to support someone older in your life is to make connection a routine. Tuesdays on the telephone with Toonie. Jeopardy on Wednesday with Gram. Sunday brunch with Dad. These aren't just nice gestures—they're anchors. They say "you matter" in the most reliable way possible: showing up, predictably, with love. Rituals connect us to meaning—lighting a candle, walking at dusk. They remind us of our values and create moments of intention in our lives. Rituals transform ordinary acts into sacred pauses. Traditions connect us to community—holiday dinners, family reunions. But some age as well as polyester leisure suits—time to remix them. Traditions connect us to community—holiday dinners, family reunions. But some age as well as polyester leisure suits—time to remix them. The key is to keep what serves us: comfort, connection, and a sense of continuity. However, we should abandon the "I should have accomplished X by now" narrative and replace it with one of celebration and gratitude. Ask not "Am I where society says I should be?" but rather "Am I building a life that feels meaningful to me?" One of my favourite traditions comes from Denmark: on birthdays, the Danish flag is placed at the celebrant's place setting. It's a small gesture, but it turns an ordinary meal into a moment of honour. Sometimes it's the little flags, not the giant balloons, that matter most. Practical Tips (With a Wink) Write Your Own Script: Stop asking, "What should I be doing at this age?" Ask instead, "What do I want to be doing?" Shrink the Feast, Keep the Fun: Big productions can be scaled down into smaller, more frequent micro-celebrations. Take a page from Frank Sinatra and do it "my way." Invest in Memories, Not More Stuff: Hot-air balloon ride VS another knick-knack. Say Yes First, Edit Later: Pickleball at 75? Say yes. Forget your shoes later. Celebrate in Advance: Start the party a month early. Stretch the milestone like an all-inclusive buffet.  Here's a thought: the older we get—whether it's 80, 90, or more—the more we should celebrate. Why restrict joy to just one day? Turn it into a birthday week. Or even better, a birthday month. We've earned it. A Toast to Us Milestone birthdays aren't warnings to slow down; they're reminders to cherish the present. They're reminders to double down. They're invitations to rewrite rituals, remix goals, and re-ignite purpose. If younger generations can say "live your best life," then let's steal that line and run with it (but don't break a hip). At every age, every stage, we can choose growth over decline, curiosity over fear, and why over why not. So the next time you're invited to an 80th birthday, picture the dance floor, not the rocking chair. Paul sure did. When I asked what's next, he smiled and said: "Finding ways to make it to 90!" Raise a glass and repeat after me: "If not now…when?" Because we're not over the hill—we're still building trails on it, with snacks. Sue Don't Retire... ReWire!

View all posts