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Retirement: For Better, For Worse, and for Much More Time Together

How to Navigate the Relationship Earthquake That Comes After the Final Paycheque

May 7, 2025

8 min

Sue Pimento

Retirement is supposed to be your golden reward—freedom from alarm clocks, endless Zoom meetings, and performance reviews. But no one warned you about the relationship performance review that arises when you and your partner suddenly find yourselves spending over 100 hours a week together.


For some, it’s bliss; for others, it feels like a full-time job without an HR department.

While grey divorce (divorce after age 50) is on the rise in Canada, separation isn’t inevitable. However, marital harmony is also not guaranteed. The truth lies somewhere in between—and that’s where things become interesting.  Retirement isn't merely a lifestyle change—it’s a complete identity shake-up, which can create stress even in the strongest relationships.


Grey Divorce: An Increasing Trend


Though Canada’s overall divorce rate reached a 50-year low in 2020, divorce among people over 50 is increasing—this trend is dubbed grey divorce. According to Statistics Canada, this demographic is increasingly re-evaluating their relationships as they retire (CBC News, 2024). The same pattern is unfolding south of the border, with the AARP reporting a steady rise in senior divorces in the U.S.


Grey divorce isn’t just emotionally taxing—it can be financially devastating. Women, in particular, bear the brunt. A study by the National Center for Family & Marriage Research found that divorced women over 50 have 45% less wealth than their married peers. In Canada, the Canadian Institute of Actuaries has warned that divorce later in life can significantly erode retirement savings and delay or derail financial plans.


Role Confusion


One retired executive shared that after decades of being chauffeured to work, he assumed retirement meant his wife would now be his driver. “I thought she’d just take over that role, as he climbed into the back seat,” he said, genuinely confused.


She had other plans that did not involve sitting behind a wheel, taking coffee orders, or navigating roundabouts. He had not yet made the emotional or physical shift from being served to becoming equal. That transition is more complicated than it sounds—and more common than you'd think.


When one partner’s identity is career-driven and the other manages the home, retirement necessitates a complete recalibration. Power dynamics shift, control issues surface, and resentment simmers if left unacknowledged.


Housework ≠ Heartwork


If you're home full-time now, guess what? You’re not a guest anymore. The dishes, the vacuuming, the grocery runs—these are now shared responsibilities.


Nothing breeds resentment faster than an unequal workload. Retirement doesn’t mean “relax”; rather, it signifies redistributing the work of life. Unspoken truths will find their voice.


Let’s face it—decades of unexpressed frustrations don’t remain buried. They begin to comment on how someone folds laundry, stacks the dishwasher, or leaves the cap off the toothpaste.


Retirement magnifies everything: the quirks you used to laugh off? Mansplaining! What habits did you ignore because life was busy? Now they’re front and center. And what bad habits did you have before? They don’t improve with age—they get worse.


Emotional and Mental Health Insights


Relationship difficulties can trigger anxiety, depression, and loneliness, especially among men who may have smaller support networks outside their marriages. A 2020 study in the Journal of Gerontology found that post-divorce social isolation is closely linked to declining physical and mental health in later life.


Not all couples want to—or need to—divorce to find peace. Increasingly, older Canadians are exploring “Living Apart Together” (LAT) arrangements, where partners maintain separate residences while remaining in a committed relationship. Research by the Vanier Institute and AARP suggests that LAT relationships allow for autonomy while maintaining emotional connection—a potential middle ground for couples who struggle with full-time togetherness in retirement.


For many, retirement means the loss of structure, identity, and purpose, particularly for those who have closely tied their sense of self to their professional roles. This loss can create irritability, aimlessness, and tension in a partnership. As Harvard Business Review put it, retirement can be especially tough for men because “so many men are bad at retirement” (HBR, 2021). This emotional void often spills over into the relationship, testing its resilience.


Retirement often brings a sudden reshuffling of roles at home. Many men who may have spent decades focused on their careers struggle to adjust to a more balanced domestic lifestyle. The Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives notes that retirement can expose long-standing gendered inequalities in household labour, leading to friction, resentment, and, at times, relationship breakdown.


How to Thrive—Together or Apart


The goal isn’t perfection; it’s peace, fulfillment, and ample personal space to breathe. Here’s how to get there: creatively, practically, and honestly.


1. Have the Real Conversations

Ask the questions you avoided when life was too busy:

• “Are we happy?”

• “What do you want out of the next ten years?”

• “Are there things we’ve never talked about that matter now?”

Unspoken expectations are relationship landmines. Bring them to light—gently and often.


2. Separate Bedrooms, United Front

Don’t frown; they are more common than you might think and less scandalous than it sounds. Separate sleep equals better rest, less irritation, and sometimes a more intentional intimate life.

Please don’t consider it a breakup; position it as a better mattress strategy.


3. The Basement Suite or In-Law Apartment Plan

This represents the sweet spot between staying together and going entirely separate. Living in the same house with clearly defined zones provides each partner with breathing room and independence, especially when you’ve grown apart but don’t want to disrupt finances or family.


Ground rules are essential:

• Who is responsible for what costs?

• Shared meals or separate?

• New partners—yay or nay?


It’s not perfect, but it can be practical.


4. A Second Space: Cottage, Trailer, or Tiny Cabin

A humble trailer or rustic cabin might save your marriage. It’s not about luxury—it’s about space, autonomy, and silence when needed. Whether alternating weekends or solo sabbaticals, having a backup place to go can restore harmony at home.


5. Travel Separately (Sometimes)

One of you wants to hike Machu Picchu, while the other prefers to nap in Muskoka. You don’t have to compromise; you can take turns.

Alternate between solo trips, friend getaways, or short solo retreats. You’ll both return refreshed—and more engaged.


6. Discover New Purpose (or Income)

A restless, lost, or bored partner can quietly sabotage the household. Encourage:

• Volunteering

• Consulting or part-time work

• Mentoring

• Taking courses or teaching others

• Rediscovering old passions


If Divorce Is the Best Option


At times, the most honest act is to end a marriage with kindness. If this is the only option, there are important factors to consider:


Financial Reality Check

• Assets will be divided, including the house, pensions, RRSPs, etc.

• Expenses double: two homes, two insurance policies, and two fridges to stock.

• Retirement income may not be sufficient for both lives.

• Legal costs and timing matter more than ever now—because the time to recover financially is limited. 


There are no pensions in tears. Therefore, if you choose this route, plan ahead.


Family Impact

• Adult children might feel shocked—or even angry.

• Grandchildren can pose challenging questions.

• Long-term friendships may weaken.

• Shared traditions may require reinvention.


This process can be amicable. A new term has emerged among women caring for their ill or aging ex-husbands: “Wasbands.” These women step up with empathy rather than obligation. Vows no longer bind them; instead, they are guided by compassion. Honestly, humanity wins in these situations. There is still love, respect, and history—even if it’s no longer romantic. That is not failure; it is growth.


Rewrite the Rules

Retirement is not a dead end; it’s a creative reawakening—if you approach it that way.

Retirement is a significant life transition—not just financially, but relationally. Like any other chapter in life, it requires renegotiation, mutual respect, and a willingness to evolve. Some couples find deeper intimacy, while others redefine their relationships entirely. The good news? Whether it's under one roof or two, retirement can still be a time of connection, discovery, and, yes, romance.


But it also requires some good, old-fashioned adulting. Yes, *adulting*—that modern word we usually reserve for paying bills, booking dental appointments, and reading the fine print. It turns out it’s equally essential in retirement. Emotional maturity, communication, boundary-setting, and a shared approach to evolving roles are all keys. Think of it like the Sonnet Insurance commercials that cheekily remind us adulting is hard but worth it. Retirement is also a factor, especially when approached with intention and a sense of humour.


This is your last chapter. Make it a good one. Whether you stay together, sleep apart, live separately under one roof, or consciously uncouple, do it with clarity, kindness, and courage. The goal isn’t a perfect love story; it’s a fulfilling life for both of you.


When in doubt, take a walk (alone if necessary). Share a joke. Communicate like adults. And for the love of long-term care insurance, remember: resentment compounds faster than interest.

If you enjoyed this article or thought, “Oh wow, this is exactly what my friend/parent/relative needs to read,” please share it. You can also subscribe to the Retirement Literacy newsletter for more smart, candid, and occasionally cheeky insights on navigating life after full-time work. Let’s make retirement not just the end of work, but the start of something meaningful, fulfilling, and a little fabulous.


Don’t Retire…Rewire!


p.s. Know someone who’s about to retire?— Why not share this worksheet?  It’s the best pre-retirement checklist they never knew they needed.



6 Questions to Ask Before Retiring Together


Retirement reshapes your schedule, your identity—and your relationship. Before you hand in your keycard, ask these candid questions with your partner.  Because the toughest part of retirement isn’t money—it’s time.


And you’ll be spending a lot more of it together.


1. What Do You Want This Chapter of Life to Look Like?

Dreams misaligned can lead to daily friction. Do you crave adventure while your partner seeks peace and quiet? Map it out—together.


2. How Much Time Do We Really Want to Spend Together?

“Always together” sounds sweet—until it feels stifling. Define your ideal balance between shared time and personal space.


3. What Roles Are We Playing Now—And Do They Need to Change?

Retirement often means rebalancing housework, caregiving, and emotional labor. What’s fair now that you’re both at home?


4. Are There Any Long-Standing Frustrations We’ve Avoided Talking About?

Retirement shines a spotlight on old resentments. It's better to talk than to silently stew over how the dishwasher is loaded.


5. How Will We Handle Money Decisions as a Team?

With changing income and more shared expenses, financial transparency and joint planning are more crucial than ever.


6. What Will Give Each of Us a Sense of Purpose—Individually?

A restless or bored partner can bring tension into the home. Talk about passions, volunteer work, or part-time pursuits that bring meaning.


Want more smart, candid insights?  Visit www.retirementliteracy.com to start rewriting your next chapter with clarity and confidence.




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Sue Pimento

Sue Pimento

Founder | CEO

Focused on financial literacy and retirement strategies. Authoring new book on home equity strategies to help seniors find financial freedom

Pension ReformInterest RatesHome EquityMortgagesReverse Mortgages

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Even measles, which has made a resurgence due to rising vaccine skepticism, is still nowhere near the half-million infections Americans used to see annually. Thanks to vaccines, measles, pertussis, mumps, and rubella are now more likely to show up in a history book—or on a pub trivia night—than in your family doctor’s office. Over a century of data shows that vaccines don’t just work—they’ve rewritten medical history. A landmark CDC study published in JAMA by researchers Sandra W. Roush (MT, MPH) and Trudy V. Murphy, MD, with Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Atlanta, Georgia did a major study comparing disease rates before and after vaccines became widespread.  The results were jaw-dropping: Cases of diphtheria, mumps, pertussis, and tetanus dropped by more than 92%, and deaths by more than 99%. Endemic polio, measles, and rubella have been eliminated in the U.S and Canada. Smallpox is gone from the globe. Even newer vaccines introduced since 1980—like those for hepatitis A, hepatitis B, Hib, and chickenpox—cut cases and deaths by 80% or more. The evidence found by the CDC study was so overwhelming that the authors called vaccines “among the greatest achievements of biomedical science and public health” (Source: JAMA, 2007) The number of cases of most vaccine-preventable diseases is at an all-time low; hospitalizations and deaths have also shown striking decreases. Think about it. When was the last time someone at your dinner table worried about catching smallpox? Enter RFK Jr., stage left. He has wasted no time since his appointment as US Secretary of Health & Human Services to undermine confidence in the public health system.  His recent moves—firing the CDC director, cutting mRNA funding (even for cancer vaccines!), and gutting expert panels—are sowing doubt faster than a Toronto raccoon opening a green bin. Even Dr. Martin Makary, Commissioner of Food and Drugs for the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), recently chimed in with an opinion piece published last week in  The Wall Street Journal. His take? Vaccines should mostly be reserved for high-risk groups, healthy people don’t really need them, and maybe we should start running more placebo trials “just to be sure.” That sounds reasonable until you realize it’s the same playbook RFK Jr. uses: shrink access, shift the burden of proof endlessly, and treat vaccines like optional extras. When Politics Drowns Out Science, Seniors Pay the Highest Price When politics drowns out science, we pay the highest price. Because the truth is: our immune systems age just like our knees do—creaky and slower to respond. Vaccines aren’t optional; they’re essential. Demanding new placebo trials for vaccines we already know work is like asking a baker to prove yeast makes bread rise every single year. And framing vaccines as “only for the sick” ignores the basic truth: when coverage falls, outbreaks rise. Period. Vaccines for Canadian Adults & Seniors (Source: Health Canada) Vaccines aren’t just for kids—they’re part of healthy aging, too. Health Canada has issued clear guidelines on which shots adults and seniors should have on their radar, from flu and pneumonia to shingles and RSV. Think of it as a maintenance schedule for your immune system. That said, every person’s health history is unique, so always check with your doctor or healthcare provider before rolling up your sleeve. Flu shot (Seasonal Influenza Vaccine) – Protects against flu strains that mutate yearly (PHAC – Influenza Vaccine). Everyone should receive it annually; seniors may be eligible for a high-dose version. Pneumococcal (Pneu-C-20) – Shields you from pneumonia, bloodstream infections, and meningitis (PHAC – Pneumococcal Vaccine). One dose at 65+. Shingles (Recombinant Zoster Vaccine – RZV) – Stops the chickenpox virus (that never left your body) from staging a painful comeback tour (PHAC – Shingles Vaccine Guidance)—two doses, starting at age 50. Tdap (Tetanus, Diphtheria, Pertussis Vaccine) – Protects against lockjaw, a throat infection, and whooping cough (PHAC – Tdap Vaccine). One-time booster, then Tdap every 10 years. Polio (Inactivated Poliovirus Vaccine – IPV) – Keeps polio from making a comeback (PHAC – Polio Vaccine). Needed if you missed doses or travel to outbreak zones. RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus Vaccine) – Prevents serious lung infections in older adults (Health Canada – RSV Vaccine Information). Recommended for ages 75+ or in long-term care. MMR (Measles, Mumps, Rubella Vaccine) – Blocks childhood triple threats (PHAC – MMR Vaccine). One dose if born after 1970 and not immune. Varicella (Chickenpox Vaccine) – For those who have never had chickenpox (PHAC – Varicella Vaccine). Two doses under age 50; For those over 50, the shingles vaccine is recommended. The Vaccines We Wish Existed Because let’s face it: medicine has cured smallpox, but not small talk. RV – Rectitious Vision Correction: For correcting poor attitudes and selective hearing in spouses. FOMOVAX: Stops the green-eyed monster when your friends are on a Caribbean cruise and you’re at Costco. TechTonic: For when Zoom won’t unmute and your iPad keeps asking for your “Apple ID you made in 2009.” EarPeace: Selective hearing—blocks whining, amplifies compliments. WineNot: The Thanksgiving booster that helps you tolerate in-laws, politics talk, and Uncle Bob’s gravy complaints. MemoryMap: Protects against the “where did I put my glasses?” epidemic. Spoiler: they’re on your head. If only. Until then, we’ll have to stick with flu and shingles shots. Screening Schedule: The Other Half of the Health Checklist Keeping your health on track sometimes feels like managing a full-time maintenance schedule. After all, the human body has more moving parts than a Canadian Tire catalogue—so of course things need regular tune-ups. If vaccines are like scheduled oil changes for your immune system, screenings are more like the regular safety inspections—checking the brakes, the lights, and making sure nothing rattles when it shouldn’t. Our bodies have a knack for keeping secrets until it’s too late, which is why Health Canada and national guidelines recommend routine checks for cancer, heart health, bone strength, and more. Here’s the recommended Health Canada guidelines—your doctor may adjust based on your risk.: Cervical (Pap test): Every 3 years, ages 25–69 (CTFPHC – Cervical Cancer Guideline). Breast (Mammogram): Every 2–3 years, ages 50–74 (CTFPHC – Breast Cancer Screening). Colorectal (Colonoscopy or FIT test): Every 2 years (FIT) or 10 years (colonoscopy), ages 50–74 (CTFPHC – Colorectal Cancer Screening). Prostate (PSA test): Discuss with your doctor around age 50 (CTFPHC – Prostate Cancer Guideline). Lung Cancer Screening: For current/former heavy smokers, typically ages 55–74 (Canadian Partnership Against Cancer – Lung Cancer Screening). Bone Density (DXA scan): At 65+ or earlier if at risk (Osteoporosis Canada – BMD Testing). Blood Pressure & Cholesterol: Annual or as needed (Hypertension Canada Guidelines). Diabetes (A1C test): Every 3 years starting at 40 (Diabetes Canada – Clinical Guidelines). Your Fall Holistic Health Checklist Still with me?  Here's a checklist that I personally follow as a seasonal tune-up—part vaccines, part screenings, part lifestyle hacks. It’s not about chasing perfection; it’s about making sure you’ve got the energy to keep doing what you love (and maybe even outpace the grandkids). Whether you’re just easing into retirement, solidly in the groove, or rocking your seventies with style, these age-by-age tips will help you stay sharp, strong, and one step ahead of sneaky health surprises. Pre-Retirees (55–64) • Annual flu shot • Covid-19 shot • Start shingles series (50+) • Tdap booster if due • Immunization catch-up (MMR, polio, varicella) • Screenings: Pap, mammogram, colon, bloodwork • Exercise, hydrate, and learn to say no—yes, that’s preventive care too. Post-Retirees (65+) • Annual flu shot (high-dose if offered) • Covid-19 shot • Pneumococcal vaccine • RSV vaccine (75+ or communal living) • Shingles vaccine if not done • Screenings: colon, prostate, bone density, cholesterol, diabetes • Keep bones strong: vitamin D, weight training, and occasionally lifting grandkids count. Active Retirees (70+) • All of the above • Review meds and fall-prevention strategies • Stay social—book clubs, golf leagues, dance classes. Loneliness is a silent epidemic. • Advocate for friends, spouses, and grandkids—because being the family health quarterback matters. Your Best Shot: Be Your Own (and Your Community’s) Advocate Vaccines and screenings are only half the story—the other half is using your voice. Seniors have enormous influence, and when you speak up, policymakers listen. Here are a few ways to make sure your concerns don’t get lost in the shuffle: Start local. Write a short letter or email to your Member of Parliament, MPP, or Mayor. Personal stories are more powerful than statistics—tell them why vaccines, screenings, and health services matter to you and your community. Pick up the phone. Constituency offices actually log every call, so even a five-minute conversation with a staffer goes on record. Think of it as Yelp for public policy. Go public. A letter to the editor in your local paper or a well-placed comment at a town hall gets noticed by decision-makers. Be persistent (but polite). Politics moves slowly, but steady nudges add up. You don’t need to storm Parliament—just keep knocking on the door. You’ve spent a lifetime paying taxes, raising families, and building communities—you’ve earned the right to be heard. And let’s be real: nobody wants to mess with a senior who’s got a phone, an email list, and time to follow up. This fall, don’t let politics steal your peace of mind. Don’t let headlines plant seeds of doubt. Vaccines and screenings aren’t about fear—they’re about freedom: freedom to keep moving, keep laughing, keep living the “Hip, Fit & Financially Free” life you deserve. And until they invent the "WineNot" booster or the "MemoryMap" shot, your best defence is still the good old-fashioned flu, shingles, and pneumonia vaccines—plus the screening tests that catch sneaky stuff early. So roll up your sleeve. Book that screening. Be your own health advocate. And while you’re at it, sign your spouse up for the RV shot—because an attitude adjustment should absolutely be a household vaccine. Stay healthy. Don't Retire - Rewire! Sue Resources Want to dig deeper? Here are links to a few of my other health and wellness posts where I share practical tips, a little humour, and more ways to keep your retirement years strong, savvy, and stress-free. > The Retirement Games: From Sprint to Marathon, The New Retirement Reality > Life Hacks in Retirement: Strategies for Aging Well Also for each vaccine mentioned, here are some links to trusted sources of information.  Please consult with your physician or healthcare provider before commencing with any treatment. COVID-19 Public Health Agency of Canada (PHAC) - COVID-19: Spread, prevention and risks - https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/diseases/2019-novel-coronavirus-infection/prevention-risks.html Flu Shot (Seasonal Influenza) Public Health Agency of Canada (PHAC) – Canadian Immunization Guide, Influenza Chapter: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/canadian-immunization-guide-part-4-active-vaccines/page-10-influenza-vaccine.html Pneumococcal (Pneu-C-20) PHAC – Canadian Immunization Guide, Pneumococcal Chapter: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/canadian-immunization-guide-part-4-active-vaccines/page-16-pneumococcal-vaccine.html Shingles (Recombinant Zoster Vaccine – RZV) PHAC – Shingles Vaccine Guidance: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/vaccines-immunization/shingles-vaccine.html Tdap (Tetanus, Diphtheria, Pertussis) PHAC – Tdap Vaccine - https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/canadian-immunization-guide-part-4-active-vaccines/page-21-tetanus-diphtheria-pertussis-vaccine.html Polio (IPV) PHAC – Polio Vaccine Guidance - https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/canadian-immunization-guide-part-4-active-vaccines/polio-vaccine.html RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) - Health Canada – RSV Vaccine Information - https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/drugs-health-products/vaccines/respiratory-syncytial-virus.html MMR & Varicella - PHAC – Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Varicella Chapters: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/canadian-immunization-guide-part-4-active-vaccines.html

8 min

The Rise of Grandparent Scams

Before you scroll past thinking, “Oh, another scam alert,” please pause. This isn’t your average “don’t answer spam calls” notice. What follows is an examination of the growing sophistication of grandparent scams—complete with call centers, scripts, and even AI voice cloning. More importantly, it’s about how to protect yourself and, especially, the older members of your family. Read on—not just for awareness, but for fundamental tools to keep your loved ones safe. Even Elvis Isn't Safe From Scammers You know the world has gone topsy-turvy when even the King of Rock 'n' Roll isn't immune to fraud. I've written before about the recent attempt to scam Elvis Presley's Graceland estate, but a recent story about senior fraud really got my blood boiling. U.S. authorities in Boston just charged 13 people connected to what I can only describe as a "grandparent scam industrial complex" – a sophisticated operation that bilked over 400 elderly Americans out of more than $5 million. These weren't your run-of-the-mill phone scammers calling from their basement. Oh no. These criminals were running call centers with scripts, managers, and daily money-making leaderboards like they were selling insurance, not breaking hearts. The math alone should make you furious: $5 million divided by 400 victims equals about $12,500 per person. That's not pocket change – that's someone's emergency fund, their vacation savings, or money they've been carefully setting aside for healthcare costs. The Grandparent Scam: Emotional Manipulation 101 If you're not familiar with grandparent scams, buckle up. These predators have turned family love into their business model, and they're disgustingly good at it. Here's their playbook: Step 1: The Panic Call – "Grandma, it's me! I'm in jail and need bail money RIGHT NOW!" Step 2: The Identity Theft – Using social media details (yes, those cute Facebook posts about little Johnny's soccer game), they sound convincingly like your grandchild. Some are even using AI voice-cloning technology. Step 3: The Time Crunch – Everything's an emergency. No time to think, no time to verify. Just panic and send money. Real emergencies, by the way, allow time for a phone call to confirm details. Step 4: The Collection – Cash via courier, rideshare driver pickup, wire transfers, even Bitcoin. Anything except the legitimate ways actual legal systems collect bail money (spoiler alert: the good guys don't send Uber drivers to your house). The Boston Grandparent Fraud Case: Scamming at Scale The level of organization in this Boston case reads like a twisted business manual. These criminals weren't just winging it – they had: • Dedicated "Opener" staff who made initial contact with victims • Specialized "Closers" who pretended to be lawyers demanding payment • Management training programs for their scam employees • Daily performance systems (because nothing says "organized crime" quite like gamifying elderly financial abuse) A number of things bothered me about this case The fraudsters got over $5 million from 400 victims. The simple math shows that, on average, each victim would have lost $12,500 – that’s not “walking around” money. I suspect many would have had to tap into a variety of savings accounts or possibly borrow from others to source funds on short notice. This creates an extra degree of hardship for victims who are struggling to manage on a fixed income. The average age of the victims was 84. This breaks my heart. The oldest in this cohort are especially vulnerable. At this age, many seniors live alone or are more isolated, making them easier prey for these deceitful tactics. Many of them are still uninformed about how these scams operate. The scammers showed a very high level of sophistication. According to court documents from the U.S. Department of Justice, District of Massachusetts (2025), the scammers operated a sophisticated “call center” with technology at multiple sites, enabling them to place a massive number of calls to unsuspecting victims. • These scams would begin with an “Opener” employee, who would call victims and read a script (see below) pretending to be a grandson or granddaughter who was in an accident. • Then, a “Closer” would allegedly follow up with another call, pretending to be their grandchild’s attorney, asking for a sum of money to pay for their grandchild’s fees due to the accident. Each of these call center locations had managers overseeing staff who trained, supervised, and paid employees. The most sickening part? They kept detailed records of how much money they stole each day, treating vulnerable seniors like ATM machines with feelings. Here is an actual photo of their “Leaderboard” taken as evidence in the Boston case. When it came to handling cash, they also had a plan for that. Most often, they used unsuspecting rideshare drivers whom they ordered to do a package pickup at the victim’s house. And these heartless criminals often went back for seconds and thirds. Using lines designed to trigger seniors into emptying their bank accounts. They would say things like "Oh, there's been a mix-up," or "A pregnant woman's baby was lost in the crash" – any lie to squeeze more money from people who'd already been devastated once. Now, I’ve been in enough boardrooms to know that leaderboards usually track sales of widgets, mortgages, or, at worst, how many stale muffins are left in the breakroom. But imagine walking into work and your boss says, “Congratulations, you scammed the most grandmas today—you win Employee of the Month!” That’s not just evil, it’s the kind of thing that should earn you a permanent bunk bed in a tiny jail cell.  And using Uber drivers to pick up cash? Please. The only thing Uber should be picking up is takeout and slightly tipsy people at 11 p.m.—not Grandma’s retirement savings. Some of These Scams Are Coming From Inside Canada Here's where this story hits close to home. While we might imagine these scams operating from some far-off location, some of the biggest operations have been running right here in Canada. In March 2025, Montreal police arrested 23 people connected to a massive network that allegedly defrauded seniors across 40 U.S. states of $30 million over three years. The suspected ringleader, Montreal developer Gareth West, allegedly ran call centers from Quebec properties and laundered the proceeds into luxury real estate. West remains at large, proving that sometimes the worst criminals are hiding in plain sight in Canadian suburbs. The Canadian Reality Check According to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, emergency or 'grandparent scams' have become one of the fastest-growing crimes targeting seniors in Canada, with reported losses rising from $2.4 million in 2021 to over $11.3 million in 2023. Here's where it gets even more interesting.  Those figures are just the losses for gradparent fraud that are reported – experts estimate the true losses are at least ten times higher since only 5-10% of fraud victims come forward.  Let that sink in: we could be looking at over $100 million in actual losses annually in Canada alone. Here’s the part that really stings: no one is exempt. Not me, not you, not even that friend who insists they “don’t answer unknown numbers.” (Sure, Jan. We all know you still pick up when it says “potential spam.”) This isn’t just about losing money—it’s about losing confidence. The shame, the self-doubt, and the “How could I fall for that?” spiral are often worse than the financial loss. I’ve seen strong, capable people withdraw after being scammed, too embarrassed to tell their own families. And honestly—I get the same chill when I read these stories: Would I have caught it in time? It’s a reminder that vigilance is like flossing—we all know we should do it daily, and yet… sometimes we forget until it hurts. Supporting an Elder Who’s Been Scammed Here’s where we need to step up as families and communities Practical Support: • Help them file a report with the police and the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre. • Contact their bank to determine if the funds can be recovered. • Lock down social media and adjust privacy settings so future scammers have less ammunition. Emotional Support: • Listen without judgment. Don’t say, “I would never have fallen for that.” (Trust me—you might.) or “you know better, Granddad”. • Normalize the experience: this can happen to anyone. If AI can clone voices and manipulate emotions, it’s not about intelligence—it’s about being human. • Follow up regularly. Shame makes people pull back, so check in to ensure they’re not withdrawing or losing confidence. Your Family’s Fraud Fighting Toolkit Look, I've spent over 30 years in the financial industry, and I can tell you that preventing fraud is always easier than recovering from it. Here's your family's defence strategy: The P-A-U-S-E Method Pause – Don't act immediately, no matter how urgent the request sounds. Ask questions only family members would immediately know ("What's Mom's maiden name?") Use known phone numbers to call your grandchild directly and verify information Set up systems to protect family members (like a secret family password) Explain to others – share this information widely with all family members Know the Red Flags • Demands for immediate action (real emergencies allow verification time) • Requests for secrecy ("Don't tell Mom and Dad!") • Payment via courier, rideshare, wire transfer, or cryptocurrency • Emotional manipulation ("I'm so scared, Grandma!") • Any request for cash payment to resolve legal issues Family Password System Set up a secret word or phrase that only your family knows. Make it something memorable but not guessable from social media. "Fluffy" (your childhood dog) is better than a pet name you posted on a recent social media post. What to Do If You're Targeted Stop. Don't. Send. Money. Instead: • Hang up immediately • Call your local police to file a report • Report to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre: 1-888-495-8501 or visit antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca • If you've already sent money, contact your bank immediately • Tell other family members what happened – you're not the only target These criminals exploit the most powerful human emotions: love, fear, and the desire to protect our families. They've turned grandparents' natural instinct to help their grandchildren into a multi-million-dollar crime operation. But here's what they're banking on (pun intended): that we'll be too embarrassed to talk about it, too confused to verify it, and too panicked to think clearly.  Don't give them that satisfaction. Remember, the average age of victims in the Boston case was 84. These aren't people who have time to recover from financial mistakes. Every dollar stolen from a senior is a dollar that won't be there for healthcare, housing, or basic dignity in their final years. We Can Fight Back Knowledge is power, and conversation offers protection. The more we discuss these scams openly – around dinner tables, in community centres, at family gatherings – the more we hinder these criminals from succeeding. Share this post with the seniors in your life. Not because they're naive, but because they're caring. And because caring people deserve to know how heartless criminals are trying to exploit their love. What is your family doing to protect against fraud? What are your strategies and ideas for keeping our loved ones safe? I’m also particularly interested in what financial institutions and various government agencies are doing these days to combat fraud and protect this vulnerable group. As I research this topic more, I’d love to hear from you. Remember: Real grandchildren in genuine emergencies can wait five minutes for you to confirm who you're talking to. Scammers can't. Helpful Resources: • Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre: 1-888-495-8501 • Report online: antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca • For more retirement security tips, visit retirewithequity.ca Stay safe. Don't Retire - Rewire!  Sue

7 min

Life Hacks in Retirement: Strategies for Aging Well

If Jean Smart can star in Hacks at 72, clearly life hacking is age-appropriate. Hacks may be a TV comedy about a sharp-tongued, aging comic, but let’s face it: retirement needs a few hacks of its own. It turns out that aging well requires more than good genes—it demands good strategy. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress. Progress with fewer bruises, bigger laughs, and more money left at the end of the month than freezer-burnt chicken. So here are some tried-and-true hacks in three essential areas: Money, Muscle, and Mood. Let's get you hip, fit, and financially free.  Ready, Set, Go! Money Hacks: Japan Might Have Found Something In Japan, there's a charming financial custom called Kuzukai, where men hand over all their income to their wives and receive a monthly allowance. No joke—it's a thing. And it works. Japan boasts: • One of the highest household savings rates at 23% (OECD, 2023) • Low household debt per capita (World Bank) • The lowest personal bankruptcy rate in the developed world (IMF Report) • And a whopping 74% of households follow this practice (Nikkei Asia, 2021) Maybe they’ve discovered the ultimate money hack: give the money to the person most likely to use spreadsheets recreationally. But you don’t need a spouse or a sushi habit to save big. Whether you're solo or shacked up, a homeowner or a renter, here are some effectively universal money-saving tips. Everyday Money-Saving Hacks: • Cut the Hidden Fees: Banking, streaming, delivery apps—if you’re not actively using them, cancel or deactivate. Your wallet will thank you. Read your bank and investment statements carefully, as if they were love letters from your money. That $3 “maintenance fee”? It might be costing you more than you realize. • Unsubscribe to Survive: Subscriptions are like house guests—pleasant at first but staying too long and costing too much. Establish a quarterly ritual—Subscription Audit Sunday. Review auto-renewals—Netflix, meditation apps, fancy sock clubs. If it doesn’t bring you joy or serve your needs weekly, cancel it. You might find enough loose change for a weekend escape. • Shop Daily, Eat Fresh: Instead of over-buying in bulk, buy just what you need for the day. It supports spontaneity and reduces waste. (Bonus: you can honour the “I feel like chicken wings” days guilt-free.). Power Tip: Shop daily, eat fresh. Channel your inner Parisian. Shop just for today—reducing waste, adding joy, and turning dinner into a choice rather than a guilt-ridden freezer excavation. • Use Senior Discounts Like a Boss: Shoppers Drug Mart (55+), Pet Valu (60+), movie theatres, golf, bowling… but only if you ask. Ask proudly: “I dare you, card me.” Mark senior days on your calendar like paydays, because they are. • Split with a Buddy: Share groceries with a friend. Half a BBQ chicken is more realistic (and less greasy) than the whole bird, and it reduces “fridge clutter”! • Ride Together: Share Ubers or Lyft. Or better yet, plan your errands with a friend and make a day of it; it will feel more like an adventure. • Scan for Free Fun: Check local listings for subsidized classes, outdoor concerts, and "pay what you can" events. Even dress rehearsals can be hidden gems at a discount. Money Traps to Avoid: 1. Subscription Creep – Set reminders to cancel trials. They add up faster than your grocery bill in the frozen aisle. 2. Silent Statement Siphons – Monitor your monthly expenses. Cut out what doesn’t bring joy or value. 3. Lifestyle Drift – Just because you can spend, doesn’t mean you should. You don’t need another air fryer. 4. Over-Gifting – Love isn’t measured in Amazon orders. The best gift is your time, or your famous banana bread. 5. Retail Therapy – If it’s cheaper than therapy, it’s probably just a distraction. But that doesn’t mean it’s helpful therapy. 6. Impulse Upgrades – Your current phone may be a few years old—but so are you, and you’re still fabulous. Your toaster doesn’t need Bluetooth, and neither do your socks. Physical Hacks: Train Like You Really Mean It The book ‘Younger Next Year’ (thank you, Bill P. and Steven H.) offers a wake-up call: Life is a test of endurance. Prepare yourself for it.  In retirement, fitness isn’t just a hobby — it’s your new full-time job. And this job offers better hours, no toxic bosses, and a dress code that includes spandex. Fitness Hacks That Work 1. Schedule it: If it’s not on the calendar, it’s not happening. Even better, set a recurring date with a friend. Accountability is appealing. 2. Make it enjoyable: Not feeling spin class? Skip it. Try Zumba, power walking, or even disco gardening. Move as if no one’s watching (even if your neighbour is). 3. Start where you are: Don’t join Advanced Pickleball if your last workout was chasing a runaway dog in 2017. 4. Make It Social: Grab a friend or make new ones—bonus points for post-sweat smoothies and commiseration. 5. Keep Commitments (Especially to Yourself): Be a “serious person,” as Logan Roy would say. If you schedule a walk, show up—even if you’re in Crocs and a hoodie. 6. Track progress, not perfection: Count steps, not pounds. Celebrate consistency. Aim for “better than yesterday,” not “six-pack by September.” Fitness Traps to Avoid: 1. Choosing Something You Hate: If you dread it, you’ll ditch it. Guaranteed. 2. Overestimating Your Ability or Availability: Planning to run a marathon in 30 days after a decade on the couch? That’s... aspirational. 3. Overpaying for Motivation: Fancy gym + guilt ≠ results. Try a budget-friendly gym, or even YouTube workouts in your living room. 4. Ignoring Recovery: If you can’t walk after leg day, you’re doing it wrong—stretch, hydrate, nap. Repeat. 5. All-or-Nothing Thinking: Missing one workout doesn’t mean the week’s a write-off. Perfection is the enemy of progress. 6. Comparing Yourself to 30-Year-Olds on Instagram: Just… don’t. Unless you want to feel bad in high def. 7. Try "Fitness Snacking" Squats while the kettle boils. Do wall push-ups before brushing your teeth. Have a dance break during Jeopardy. Movement matters. 8. Stretch Before Bed Nightly stretches improve sleep and help you wake up feeling refreshed. It’s five minutes that pay dividends. Emotional Hacks: Mindset Is Your Muscle This is the part they don’t teach in school—or even in yoga class. Emotional health is what sustains you when the stock market tanks, your golf swing falters, or the kids “forget” to call. Emotional Hacks to Try 1. Upgrade Your Self-Talk: You hear your voice more than anyone else’s. Make it kind. Make it constructive. 2. Be Your Own Biggest Fan: Self-love isn’t arrogance. It’s survival. 3. Treat Yourself Like a Dear Friend: Would you tell your best friend she’s lazy, useless, and past her prime? No? Then stop saying it to yourself. 4. Forgiveness: Begin with yourself. Write that forgiveness letter, see a therapist, cry it out. Let go. No one leaves here flawless. 5. Basic Self-Care: Feed your body with wholesome food, ensure proper rest, and maintain regular grooming. Yes, plucking your chin counts. 6. Gratitude: morning and night. Focus on one thing you’re grateful for each day. It’s better than Botox. 7. Practice "Mental Hygiene" meditation, journaling, or a walk without your phone. It's like flossing for your nervous system. 8. Try Five-Minute Journaling: “What made me smile today?” “What felt hard?” “What do I want more of tomorrow?” Answer honestly—no grammar police. Emotional Traps to Avoid 1. Negative Self-Talk: There is zero upside. Science backs this up—positive self-talk improves performance and wellbeing. Try this: “Today wasn’t my best. I was tired and snappy. I’ll apologize and do better tomorrow.” or “I know I can do this. I need to practice and be patient with myself.” 2. Not Making Yourself a Priority: The oxygen mask rule is absolute. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t help anyone else. 3. Self-Medicating with Booze, Bingeing, or Buying: Feel the feelings. Don’t dodge them with Chardonnay or Amazon. 4. Righteousness Addiction: Would you rather be right or be happy? Being “right” is expensive—emotionally, physically, and energetically. 5. All-or-Nothing Perfectionism: Perfection is a myth—and frankly, a boring one. Flaws are where the fun and growth live. 6. Regret. Let’s face it, regrets are a part of life. The trick is not to dwell on them. Don’t store them in Samsonite to pull out whenever we want to beat ourselves up! Ever notice that the windshield on your car is much bigger than the rearview mirror? Read that again. The Social Capital Audit You are more than your RRSP and Fitbit stats. What do you bring to the table? Your kindness? Humour? Lived wisdom? A killer lemon loaf? Whatever it is—own it. Hone it. Make it your signature. Whether you’re the neighbourhood listener, laughter-bringer, or human glue-stick, your contribution matters. What Are You Proud Of… and Is It Still Serving You? Maybe once upon a time, you were known for your hair, your legs, your singing voice, or your abs of yesteryear. But here's the truth: gravity always wins. And that’s not failure—it’s biology. So if you’re still starting sentences with “Back in my day…”, you might be overdue for a mindset update. Choose something new to feel proud of now: your resilience, your sense of humour, your garden, or your ability to FaceTime your grandkid without accidentally hanging up.  Adjust the metric. Celebrate the upgrade. Some Mantras for the Journey • “Done is better than perfect.” • “I am doing the best I can, and that’s enough.” • “Every day is a fresh start (even if my back cracks getting out of bed).” • “Progress, not perfection.” • “I am not too old, and it’s not too late.” • “If not now… when?” • “Stop acting my age.” The Final Hack: Don’t Just Celebrate – Throw Confetti Practice makes progress. And progress, my friends, is where the magic lives. Every step matters. Every stumble adds a twist. Perfection is overrated. Progress is the new gold standard. And as Mel Robbins reminds us: “There will be many people who won’t appreciate your value. Make sure you’re not one of them.” You’ve spent your life caring for others. Now it’s your turn to care for yourself—thoughtfully, warmly, and with plenty of good humour.  Retirement isn’t the end. It’s the ultimate reboot. Be the Jean Smart of your own story. Jean, watch your back... and Kuzukai, watch our money. Star power meets allowance power. Don’t Retire…Re-Wire! Sue

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