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Ask a parent about phones and teens, and you’ll hear the same story: “They’re glued to that thing and don’t care.” But when you ask teens themselves, a different picture emerges.
A recent Pew Research Center study found that about 95% of U.S. teens have access to a smartphone — and around 4 in 10 say they spend too much time on it. (Pew Research Center) Coverage of the same data notes that over 70% of teens say they feel happiness or peace when they’re not tethered to their device, even as they rely on it for social life. (KTUL)
Psychotherapist Harshi Sritharan, MSW, RSW, who works with teens and young adults on digital dependency, sees that ambivalence every day.
“I have 12- to 15-year-olds who come in and say, ‘I know I’m kind of addicted to my phone,’” she says. “When a teenager says that, I’m relieved — it means we have something to work with.” She stresses that most young people don’t actually want to be left alone with endless scrolling — they want help making sense of it.
Teen Limits Work Better Than Parents Think New data suggests that reasonable limits can help and that many teens benefit when parents set them thoughtfully. A tool parents can use is collaborative problem solving. This involves parents and teens working together to come up with a plan for the best strategies that combat everyone’s concerns while compromising.
A 2024 Springtide Research Institute survey of 1,112 13-year-olds found that teens whose parents limit their screen time are less likely to be heavy users: only 32% of those with limits use their phone 5+ hours a day, compared with 55%of those with unlimited time. Just 24% of teens with limits said they’d felt like they had a mental health problem, versus 32% with no limits.(Springtide Research Institute)
In other words, boundaries are mildly protective, not cruel, especially when they’re explained instead of imposed.
Sritharan cautions against “no phones ever” rules that ignore school and social realities:
“We can’t make blanket statements of ‘no screens’,” she says. “We shape how kids use devices so they can still get things done and spend more time engaging with their family.” That might mean agreeing on tech-free windows (like family dinners or the hour before bed) and tech-friendly ones (like a 45-minute bus ride where a teen can listen to music or message friends).
Teens Are Leading a Quiet “Cutback” Movement Parents often feel like the only ones craving less screen time, but surveys show Gen Z is already trying to dial things down.
A global survey cited by Tech Times and ExpressVPN found that about 46% of Gen Z are actively taking steps to limit their screen time, more than older generations.(Tech Times) Another U.S. poll commissioned by ThriftBooks found half of respondents are cutting back on screens, with Gen Z and millennials leading — and 84% adopting analog habits like printed books, paper planners and board games.(New York Post) Reporting on the “board game revival” among Gen Z echoes the same trend: young people are consciously seeking offline, face-to-face ways to connect.(Woke Waves)
For Offline.now experts, this adds up to a simple message: teens aren’t fighting all boundaries — they’re fighting feeling controlled or misunderstood.
Parents as Co-Pilots, Not Phone Police Executive Function Coach Craig Selinger, M.S., CCC-SLP says the real leverage point isn’t just new rules; it’s how parents model and co-create them.
“If you want behavior change in kids, start with the parent model,” he says. “A 12-year-old will not put their phone away at dinner if their parents won’t.” He encourages families to focus on “little moments” where phones quietly block connection — especially car rides and in-between times when kids might naturally open up:
“In the car, your kid is trapped with you,” Selinger says. “That’s when they start talking. If they’re on their phone the whole time, you lose those big conversations hiding in the boring moments.” Both experts emphasize co-designing boundaries with teens: agreeing together on tech-free times and how late-night scrolling affects mood and school performance. When teens feel heard — and see adults following the same rules — boundaries feel less like punishment and more like shared protection.
For journalists, the story isn’t “teens vs phones” or “parents vs teens.” It’s that both sides are quietly overwhelmed, and many young people are more open to limits than adults realize — if those limits are built with them, not against them.
Featured Experts Harshi Sritharan, MSW, RSW – Psychotherapist specializing in ADHD, anxiety, insomnia and digital dependency. She helps teens and young adults understand dopamine cycles, distinguish passive vs active tech use, and build realistic phone boundaries that support sleep, school and mental health. Craig Selinger, M.S., CCC-SLP – Executive Function Coach and child development specialist (Brooklyn Letters). He focuses on how tech use shapes learning, attention and family dynamics, and how parents can model healthy habits and co-create screen rules that actually stick. (Expert interviews can be arranged through the Offline.now media team.)
It's a recent news story that has captured international attention and has parents, experts and child care advocates swirling: US boy, 11, allegedly shoots father to death after Nintendo Switch taken away If you’re planning a story on screen-time conflict, Harshi, a Digital Dependency therapist, is available for on-the-record comment, rapid written quotes, and short interviews on practical de-escalation and safer screen-limit routines.
“The headline is about a device. The deeper story is what happens when a predictable boundary becomes an unplanned confrontation without a de-escalation routine.” Offline.now is a new wellness platform dedicated to helping families achieve healthy digital balance.
What Harshi can help journalists cover On-the-record context and practical guidance for stories touching screen-time conflict, including:
Why device removal moments can trigger outsized reactions in some kids (transition & regulation) How parents can de-escalate safely without turning limits into power struggles How to design screen rules that rely on systems, not willpower What to do after a blow-up (repair & resetting the plan) When “this-is-bigger-than-screens” and families should seek professional support Insights from our expert Use any of these as on-the-record quotes:
Start with regulation, not the rule. “When emotions spike, it’s not a teachable moment. The first goal is to help everyone get calmer, then you can talk boundaries.” Don’t match intensity with intensity. “If you argue, lecture, or negotiate in the heat of the moment, you keep the conflict alive.” Use a short script - and stop talking. “Two sentences is enough: ‘I’m not debating this. We’ll talk when we’re calm.’ Then pause. Silence can be a tool.” Avoid surprise confiscations. “Taking a device without warning can feel like an ambush. Predictable routines reduce the power struggle.” Offer an off-ramp, not a cliff. “Transitions are hard. A timer, a closing ritual, and a clear ‘what’s next’ can prevent escalation.” Make boundaries about the system, not the child’s character. “This isn’t ‘you’re bad’ or ‘you’re addicted.’ It’s ‘our home has screen rules and we follow them consistently.’” Repair matters more than punishment. “After a blow-up, repair is the reset - name what happened, reset the plan, and practice the next transition.” Know when this is bigger than screens. “If threats, aggression, or extreme reactions show up, that’s a signal to seek professional support - not just enforce a stricter rule.” What parents can do right now Create a neutral device ‘parking spot.’ Devices live in one predictable place (not a tug-of-war in someone’s hand).
Use a consistent transition routine. When time’s up, share a “shut it down” cue, park the device, and then move on to a 2-minute action (teeth, pajamas, snack, shower).
Pick one calm script and repeat it verbatim. “I’m not debating this. We’ll talk when we’re calm.” (Then disengage and model calm.)
Important context Harshi does not speculate about individuals involved in the news story and does not claim that gaming or screens “cause” violent behavior. Her focus is on what families can do - before conflicts escalate - using practical de-escalation tools, predictable routines, and supportive repair strategies.
If it feels like every other night ends with “Give me my phone back!” you’re not alone. A recent Pew Research Center report found that about 4 in 10 teens and parents (38%) say they argue about phone time, and nearly half of parents admit they spend too much time on their own phones. Executive Function Coach Craig Selinger, M.S., CCC-SLP says those blow-ups often miss the real issue.
“If you want behavior change in kids, start with the parent model,” he says. “It starts at the top: kids are watching how you use tech.” He notes that conflict usually shows up in the “in-between” moments — after school, in the car, at breakfast — when a phone becomes an invisible wall between parents and kids.
“Those little moments are actually big moments,” Selinger explains. “If you can pull out tech during those kind of banal, whatever moments, that’s when kids start talking to you.” Research shows the stakes go beyond eye-rolling. A 2025 CDC analysis of U.S. teenagers found that higher non-school screen time is linked with irregular sleep, less physical activity, more depression and anxiety symptoms, and weaker social support.(CDC) And yet, many families don’t have clear, consistent rules: Springtide Research Institute’s 2024 survey of 13-year-olds found that only about half say their parents limit screen time, but when limits exist, teens are less likely to be heavy users and report slightly better mental health.(Springtide Research Institute)
For Selinger, the takeaway is simple: filters and confiscation can’t replace family systems. What works better:
Parents go first. Phones out of bedrooms at night, off the table at meals, and away during key “micro-moments” sends a stronger signal than any lecture.
Agree on the rules together. Teens are far more likely to respect boundaries they helped design, for example, “no phones at dinner and after 11 p.m. on school nights” than rules dropped on them mid-argument.
Link boundaries to what teens care about. Sleep, sports, grades, mood and friendships are all directly affected by late-night and all-day screen time; making that connection reduces the sense that rules are “random.”
Instead of asking “How do I make my teen stop?” Offline.now’s experts encourage parents to ask, “What are we modelling and what shared routines would actually make life better for everyone in the house?”
Featured Experts Craig Selinger, M.S., CCC-SLP – Executive Function Coach, CEO of Themba Tutors and child development specialist. He focuses on how phones reshape learning, sleep and family dynamics, and helps families build “digital sunset” routines and mealtime/bedroom rules that stick.
