Featured Post from Retire with Equity

Reclaiming 'Spend': A Retirement Rebellion

Why it's time to shed the shame, silence the guilt, and proudly enjoy the life you've earned.

Jun 12, 2025

5 min

Sue Pimento

June is Pride Month—a celebration of identity, resilience, and the powerful act of reclaiming. Over the years, LGBTQ+ communities have reclaimed words that once marginalized them. “Queer” used to be a slur. Now, it’s a proud badge of honor. Similarly, the Black community has transformed language once used to oppress into expressions of cultural pride and connection.


So, here's a thought: What if retirees approached the word “spend” similarly?


Yes, you read that right.

The psychological Tug-of-War

This isn't just about numbers; it’s about narratives.


Most retirees have spent their entire adult lives in accumulation mode: save, earn, invest, delay gratification, rinse, and repeat. But retirement flips that formula on its head, and most people weren’t provided with a “mental user guide” for the transition.


Now, instead of saving, they’re expected to spend? Without a paycheck?

It triggers everything from guilt to fear to a low-grade existential crisis.


The Challenge of Saving for an Extended Period


Let’s get serious for a moment. The data tells a troubling story:


- Canadians over 65 collectively hold $1.5 trillion in home equity (CMHC, 2023)

- The average retiree spends just $33,000 per year, despite often having far more resources (StatsCan, 2022)

- Nearly 70% of retirees express anxiety about running out of money—despite having significant savings (FCAC, 2022)


We’re talking about seniors who could afford dinner out, a trip to Tuscany, or finally buying that electric bike—and instead, they’re clipping coupons and debating the cost of almond milk.


Why?  Because spending still feels wrong.



I Know a Thing or Two About Reclaiming Words


As a proud member of the LGBTQ2+ community and a woman who has worked in the traditionally male-dominated world of finance, I’ve had a front-row seat to the power of language, both its ability to uplift and its tendency to wound.


There were many boardrooms where I was not only the only woman but also the only gay person, and often the oldest person in the room. I didn’t just have a seat at the table; I had to earn, protect, and sometimes fight to keep it.


I’ve learned that words can be weapons, but they can also be amour—if you know how to use them.



Reflect on Your Boundaries


Take a moment. Have you ever felt prejudged, marginalized, or dismissed?

Perhaps it was due to your gender, sexuality, accent, skin colour, culture, or age.


It leaves a mark. One way to preserve your dignity is by building a mental toolkit in advance. Prepare a few lines, questions, or quiet comebacks you can use when someone crosses the line—whether they intend to or not.


Here are five strategies that helped me stand tall—even at five feet nothing:


1. Humour – A clever remark can defuse tension or highlight bias without confrontation.

2. Wit – A precisely timed comeback can silence a room more effectively than an argument.

3. Over-preparation – Know your stuff inside and out. Knowledge is power.

4. Grace under fire – Not everything deserves your energy. Rise above it when it matters.

5. Vulnerability – A simple “Ouch” or “Did you mean to hurt me?” can be quietly disarming—and deeply human.


Let’s Talk About Microaggressions


The term microaggression may sound small, but its effects are significant.


These are the subtle, often unintentional slights: backhanded compliments, dismissive glances, and “jokes” that aren’t funny. They quietly chip away at your sense of belonging.


Dr. Robin DiAngelo’s book White Fragility is a brilliant read on this topic. She explains how early socialization creates bias— “Good guys wear white hats. Bad guys wear black hats.” These unconscious associations become ingrained from an early age.


Some people still say, “I’m not racist—I have a Black friend,” or “I’m not homophobic—my cousin is gay.” The truth? Knowing someone from a marginalized group doesn’t exempt you from unconscious bias. It might explain the behaviour, but it doesn’t excuse it.


And no, there is no such thing as reverse discrimination. Discrimination operates within systems of power and history. When someone points out a biased comment or unconscious microaggression, they’re not discriminating against you—they’re holding up a mirror.


That sting you feel? It’s not oppression. It’s shame—and it’s warranted. It signals that your intentions clashed with your impact. And that’s not a failure; it’s an invitation to grow.


Calling it “reverse discrimination” is just a way to dodge discomfort. But real progress comes when we sit with that discomfort and ask: Why did this land the way it did? What am I missing? Because the truth is, being uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re being attacked. It often means you’re being invited into a deeper understanding—and that’s something worth showing up for.



Let’s Reclaim 'Spend'


What if we flipped the script?

What if spending in retirement was viewed as a badge of honour?


Spending on your grandkids’ education, your bucket list adventures or even a high-end patio chair should not come with any shame.


You’ve earned this. You’ve planned for this. It’s time to reclaim it.


Let’s make “spend” the new “thrive.” Let’s make super-saver syndrome a thing of the past.


Let the Parade Begin


Imagine it: a Seniors’ Spend Parade.


Golden confetti.

Wheelchairs with spoilers.

Luxury walkers with cupholders and chrome rims.


T-shirts that say:


- “Proud Spender. Zero Shame.”

- “I’m not broke—I’m retired and woke.”

- “My equity funds my gelato tour.”


Dreams Aren’t Just for the Young


What’s the point of spending decades building wealth if you never enjoy it?


Reclaiming “spend” isn’t about being reckless—it’s about being intentional.

So go ahead—book the trip. Upgrade the sofa. Take the wine tour.

You’re not being irresponsible; you’re living the life you’ve earned.


And if anyone questions it? Smile and say: “I’m reclaiming the word spend. Care to join the parade?”


Sue

Don’t Retire…Rewire!


8 Guilt-Free Ways to Spend in Retirement

A checklist to help you spend proudly, wisely, and joyfully:

☐ Book the Trip – Travel isn’t a luxury; it’s a memory maker.

☐ Upgrade for Comfort – That recliner? That mattress? Worth every penny.

☐ Gift a Down Payment – Help your kids become homeowners.

☐ Fund a Grandchild’s Dream – Tuition, ballet, a first car—you’re building a legacy.

☐ Outsource the Chores – Pay for help so you can reclaim your time.

☐ Invest in Wellness – Healthy food, massage therapy, yoga. Health is wealth.

☐ Pursue a Passion – From pottery to piloting drones, go for it.

☐ Celebrate Milestones – Anniversaries, birthdays… or Tuesdays. Celebrate always!



Want More?

If this speaks to you, visit www.retirewithequity.ca and explore more:


- From Saver to Spender: Navigating the Retirement Mindset

- Money vs. Memories in Retirement

- Fear Of Running Out (FORO)


Each piece explores the emotional and psychological aspects of retirement—the parts no one talks about at your pension seminar.




Connect with:
Sue Pimento

Sue Pimento

Founder | CEO

Focused on financial literacy and retirement strategies. Authoring new book on home equity strategies to help seniors find financial freedom

Pension ReformInterest RatesHome EquityMortgagesReverse Mortgages

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Building (or Rebuilding) Credit What if you need to fix a low score due to missed payments, bankruptcy, or simply a lack of credit history? Getting your credit score up is entirely possible—with patience, consistency, and the right strategy. Here’s a practical framework I use. 1. Get Credit – A secured card works just fine. 2. Use It – Buy groceries, gas, Netflix—whatever you usually pay for. 3. Pay on Time – Even the minimum. Set a reminder …or three. 4. Stay below 30% – Don’t max it out. Do this, and your score should rise like a perfectly baked soufflé. When Credit Counselling is the Better Option Struggling with debt? Credit counseling might be your best path forward. These services consolidate all unsecured debts into one monthly payment and negotiate with creditors to reduce or eliminate interest. It’s a couple-of-year commitment that avoids bankruptcy, and you pay something back. 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Your credit score doesn’t care if you’re a good person. It only cares if you’re a predictable borrower. So don’t take it personally—play the game smartly. Because in the wild world of credit, it’s not about morals. It’s about whether you paid your $9.99 Netflix bill on time. Now go forward and charge responsibly. Don’t Retire … Re-Wire! Sue

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