Reclaiming 'Spend': A Retirement Rebellion

Why it's time to shed the shame, silence the guilt, and proudly enjoy the life you've earned.

Jun 12, 2025

5 min

Sue Pimento

June is Pride Month—a celebration of identity, resilience, and the powerful act of reclaiming. Over the years, LGBTQ+ communities have reclaimed words that once marginalized them. “Queer” used to be a slur. Now, it’s a proud badge of honor. Similarly, the Black community has transformed language once used to oppress into expressions of cultural pride and connection.


So, here's a thought: What if retirees approached the word “spend” similarly?


Yes, you read that right.

The psychological Tug-of-War

This isn't just about numbers; it’s about narratives.


Most retirees have spent their entire adult lives in accumulation mode: save, earn, invest, delay gratification, rinse, and repeat. But retirement flips that formula on its head, and most people weren’t provided with a “mental user guide” for the transition.


Now, instead of saving, they’re expected to spend? Without a paycheck?

It triggers everything from guilt to fear to a low-grade existential crisis.


The Challenge of Saving for an Extended Period


Let’s get serious for a moment. The data tells a troubling story:


- Canadians over 65 collectively hold $1.5 trillion in home equity (CMHC, 2023)

- The average retiree spends just $33,000 per year, despite often having far more resources (StatsCan, 2022)

- Nearly 70% of retirees express anxiety about running out of money—despite having significant savings (FCAC, 2022)


We’re talking about seniors who could afford dinner out, a trip to Tuscany, or finally buying that electric bike—and instead, they’re clipping coupons and debating the cost of almond milk.


Why?  Because spending still feels wrong.



I Know a Thing or Two About Reclaiming Words


As a proud member of the LGBTQ2+ community and a woman who has worked in the traditionally male-dominated world of finance, I’ve had a front-row seat to the power of language, both its ability to uplift and its tendency to wound.


There were many boardrooms where I was not only the only woman but also the only gay person, and often the oldest person in the room. I didn’t just have a seat at the table; I had to earn, protect, and sometimes fight to keep it.


I’ve learned that words can be weapons, but they can also be amour—if you know how to use them.



Reflect on Your Boundaries


Take a moment. Have you ever felt prejudged, marginalized, or dismissed?

Perhaps it was due to your gender, sexuality, accent, skin colour, culture, or age.


It leaves a mark. One way to preserve your dignity is by building a mental toolkit in advance. Prepare a few lines, questions, or quiet comebacks you can use when someone crosses the line—whether they intend to or not.


Here are five strategies that helped me stand tall—even at five feet nothing:


1. Humour – A clever remark can defuse tension or highlight bias without confrontation.

2. Wit – A precisely timed comeback can silence a room more effectively than an argument.

3. Over-preparation – Know your stuff inside and out. Knowledge is power.

4. Grace under fire – Not everything deserves your energy. Rise above it when it matters.

5. Vulnerability – A simple “Ouch” or “Did you mean to hurt me?” can be quietly disarming—and deeply human.


Let’s Talk About Microaggressions


The term microaggression may sound small, but its effects are significant.


These are the subtle, often unintentional slights: backhanded compliments, dismissive glances, and “jokes” that aren’t funny. They quietly chip away at your sense of belonging.


Dr. Robin DiAngelo’s book White Fragility is a brilliant read on this topic. She explains how early socialization creates bias— “Good guys wear white hats. Bad guys wear black hats.” These unconscious associations become ingrained from an early age.


Some people still say, “I’m not racist—I have a Black friend,” or “I’m not homophobic—my cousin is gay.” The truth? Knowing someone from a marginalized group doesn’t exempt you from unconscious bias. It might explain the behaviour, but it doesn’t excuse it.


And no, there is no such thing as reverse discrimination. Discrimination operates within systems of power and history. When someone points out a biased comment or unconscious microaggression, they’re not discriminating against you—they’re holding up a mirror.


That sting you feel? It’s not oppression. It’s shame—and it’s warranted. It signals that your intentions clashed with your impact. And that’s not a failure; it’s an invitation to grow.


Calling it “reverse discrimination” is just a way to dodge discomfort. But real progress comes when we sit with that discomfort and ask: Why did this land the way it did? What am I missing? Because the truth is, being uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re being attacked. It often means you’re being invited into a deeper understanding—and that’s something worth showing up for.



Let’s Reclaim 'Spend'


What if we flipped the script?

What if spending in retirement was viewed as a badge of honour?


Spending on your grandkids’ education, your bucket list adventures or even a high-end patio chair should not come with any shame.


You’ve earned this. You’ve planned for this. It’s time to reclaim it.


Let’s make “spend” the new “thrive.” Let’s make super-saver syndrome a thing of the past.


Let the Parade Begin


Imagine it: a Seniors’ Spend Parade.


Golden confetti.

Wheelchairs with spoilers.

Luxury walkers with cupholders and chrome rims.


T-shirts that say:


- “Proud Spender. Zero Shame.”

- “I’m not broke—I’m retired and woke.”

- “My equity funds my gelato tour.”


Dreams Aren’t Just for the Young


What’s the point of spending decades building wealth if you never enjoy it?


Reclaiming “spend” isn’t about being reckless—it’s about being intentional.

So go ahead—book the trip. Upgrade the sofa. Take the wine tour.

You’re not being irresponsible; you’re living the life you’ve earned.


And if anyone questions it? Smile and say: “I’m reclaiming the word spend. Care to join the parade?”


Sue

Don’t Retire…Rewire!


8 Guilt-Free Ways to Spend in Retirement

A checklist to help you spend proudly, wisely, and joyfully:

☐ Book the Trip – Travel isn’t a luxury; it’s a memory maker.

☐ Upgrade for Comfort – That recliner? That mattress? Worth every penny.

☐ Gift a Down Payment – Help your kids become homeowners.

☐ Fund a Grandchild’s Dream – Tuition, ballet, a first car—you’re building a legacy.

☐ Outsource the Chores – Pay for help so you can reclaim your time.

☐ Invest in Wellness – Healthy food, massage therapy, yoga. Health is wealth.

☐ Pursue a Passion – From pottery to piloting drones, go for it.

☐ Celebrate Milestones – Anniversaries, birthdays… or Tuesdays. Celebrate always!



Want More?

If this speaks to you, visit www.retirewithequity.ca and explore more:


- From Saver to Spender: Navigating the Retirement Mindset

- Money vs. Memories in Retirement

- Fear Of Running Out (FORO)


Each piece explores the emotional and psychological aspects of retirement—the parts no one talks about at your pension seminar.




Connect with:
Sue Pimento

Sue Pimento

Founder | CEO

Focused on financial literacy and retirement strategies. Authoring new book on home equity strategies to help seniors find financial freedom

Pension ReformInterest RatesHome EquityMortgagesReverse Mortgages

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Here’s the upgrade part of aging: • Less shame, more self-acceptance. Turns out, as you get older, you care less if Karen from yoga thinks you talk too much. • Socioemotional selectivity theory. As we become aware that time is limited, we stop pretending. Why waste valuable hours pretending to enjoy kale chips or dull book clubs? When to Be Concerned • Normal aging: Some verbal slips, occasional public flatulence, and quirky jokes. • Red flags: Rude outbursts, memory lapses, risky behaviour, and dramatic personality shifts. That might signal more than "aging into your truth." • Impulsivity warning: High impulsivity in older adults can sometimes be associated with early-stage cognitive decline. When uncertain, discuss it—preferably with a professional. TL;DR • Physical: Brain shrinkage leads to fewer filters. • Emotional: Less time means less pretending. • Caution: Disinhibition and cognitive issues suggest it's time for a check-up. Crafting Your Identity After 60 (Before Someone Else Does It for You) Let’s be honest: You already have a brand. Even if you never wrote a tagline or hired a designer, your brand is what people whisper (or shout) about you when you leave the room. It’s how you show up, how you age, and whether you become known as: "The Cranky Codger Complaining About the Price of Lettuce" or "The Glamorous Grandma with a TikTok Following." If you don’t brand yourself, trust me—someone else will. And they might not be as flattering. The Branding Trap of Aging Aging often loosens the filter and tightens the waistband. That’s just biology. But if we’re going to become more blunt, forgetful, and comfortable saying whatever pops into our head, shouldn’t we decide who we want to be first? Instead of becoming The Know-It-All, The Debbie Downer, or The Hovering Grandparent, why not become: • The Mentor • The Lifelong Learner • The Sexy Sensei with Killer Dance Moves And let’s not forget: most of us swore we’d never become our parents. Spoiler alert: unless you act intentionally, you’re heading in that direction, with even worse tech skills. Timing Is Everything (And Also Totally Forgiving) The best time to plant a tree? 30 years ago. The second best? Right after you finish this blog, brush Dorito dust off your fingers, and take action. It’s never too early or too late to develop your personal brand. Think of it as building compound interest, but for your character. Start now before you need a doctor’s note for skinny jeans. Build a Brand That Outlasts Your Wi-Fi Password The goal? Shape a brand that becomes your legacy. Something grandkids remember, communities admire, and mirrors reflect with pride. I’m aiming for Hip, Fit & Financially Free. That means: • Eating like I care • Moving daily • Sleeping like it’s my side hustle • Managing money like I want it to stick around • And fiercely guarding my energy from sugar crashes and toxic people Avoid These Unintentional "Elder Brands" • The Cranky Codger: Complains constantly, hates oat milk, gives paper cuts with sarcasm. • The Sweet Old Lady: Harmless and charming—and almost invisible. So sweet, she could give you cavities. Stands for nothing, falls for everything. • The Know-It-All: Believes Google exists solely to confirm their opinions. • The Nona/Nono: Helicopter grandparenting, over-involved, uses spit to clean your face in public. Attract These Brands Instead: 1. Glammy or Glampa 2. Wise Old Owl 3. Sexy Sensei 4. Unstoppable Opa Tips for Maintaining Youth in Mind, Body & Spirit 1. Hang out with younger people—use their slang, apps, and playlists. 2. Volunteer—Gratitude is more effective than Botox. 3. Mentor—your wisdom is not meant for hoarding. 4. Move every day—your joints might protest now, but they'll thank you later. 5. Protect your energy—eat healthy, sleep well, say no to nonsense. 6. Be mindful of your screen time—doomscrolling drains your spirit. 7. Keep learning—new languages, new tech, and new ways to be awesome. Legacy is the Long Game You don’t need to run marathons at 85 (though if you do, I’ll cheer wildly). But you should ask: "How do I want to be remembered?" Learn Italian at age 70. Take a gap year at 65. Get an MBA at 69 (worked for me!). Write your eulogy and then live it. Age isn’t a liability. It’s your proof of resilience. Now’s your opportunity to demonstrate that to the world. So, what’s your brand, Boomer? Because like it or not, you’ve got one. It’s showing up in every family dinner, work Zoom, golf game, and passive-aggressive Facebook post. The only question is — did you choose it… or did you just inherit the ‘We Do Not Care Club’ starter pack?   Maybe we don't care about chin hair, laundry, or your opinion — but we do care about how we’re remembered. That’s your real brand, Boomer. So, you can either define it — or let your grandkids do it for you… and trust me, they’ve already got the group chat ready! So go ahead. Print those business cards that say something fabulous. Brand Strategy at Any Age: Intend it. Live it. Leave it behind.  Stay hip. Stay fit. Stay financially free. And stay tuned. There’s more coming next week.  Spoiler: There will be laugh lines and a squat rack. Don’t Retire … Re-Wire! Sue

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