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Retirement: For Better, For Worse, and for Much More Time Together

Retirement is supposed to be your golden reward—freedom from alarm clocks, endless Zoom meetings, and performance reviews. But no one warned you about the relationship performance review that arises when you and your partner suddenly find yourselves spending over 100 hours a week together. For some, it’s bliss; for others, it feels like a full-time job without an HR department. While grey divorce (divorce after age 50) is on the rise in Canada, separation isn’t inevitable. However, marital harmony is also not guaranteed. The truth lies somewhere in between—and that’s where things become interesting.  Retirement isn't merely a lifestyle change—it’s a complete identity shake-up, which can create stress even in the strongest relationships. Grey Divorce: An Increasing Trend Though Canada’s overall divorce rate reached a 50-year low in 2020, divorce among people over 50 is increasing—this trend is dubbed grey divorce. According to Statistics Canada, this demographic is increasingly re-evaluating their relationships as they retire (CBC News, 2024). The same pattern is unfolding south of the border, with the AARP reporting a steady rise in senior divorces in the U.S. Grey divorce isn’t just emotionally taxing—it can be financially devastating. Women, in particular, bear the brunt. A study by the National Center for Family & Marriage Research found that divorced women over 50 have 45% less wealth than their married peers. In Canada, the Canadian Institute of Actuaries has warned that divorce later in life can significantly erode retirement savings and delay or derail financial plans. Role Confusion One retired executive shared that after decades of being chauffeured to work, he assumed retirement meant his wife would now be his driver. “I thought she’d just take over that role, as he climbed into the back seat,” he said, genuinely confused. She had other plans that did not involve sitting behind a wheel, taking coffee orders, or navigating roundabouts. He had not yet made the emotional or physical shift from being served to becoming equal. That transition is more complicated than it sounds—and more common than you'd think. When one partner’s identity is career-driven and the other manages the home, retirement necessitates a complete recalibration. Power dynamics shift, control issues surface, and resentment simmers if left unacknowledged. Housework ≠ Heartwork If you're home full-time now, guess what? You’re not a guest anymore. The dishes, the vacuuming, the grocery runs—these are now shared responsibilities. Nothing breeds resentment faster than an unequal workload. Retirement doesn’t mean “relax”; rather, it signifies redistributing the work of life. Unspoken truths will find their voice. Let’s face it—decades of unexpressed frustrations don’t remain buried. They begin to comment on how someone folds laundry, stacks the dishwasher, or leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Retirement magnifies everything: the quirks you used to laugh off? Mansplaining! What habits did you ignore because life was busy? Now they’re front and center. And what bad habits did you have before? They don’t improve with age—they get worse. Emotional and Mental Health Insights Relationship difficulties can trigger anxiety, depression, and loneliness, especially among men who may have smaller support networks outside their marriages. A 2020 study in the Journal of Gerontology found that post-divorce social isolation is closely linked to declining physical and mental health in later life. Not all couples want to—or need to—divorce to find peace. Increasingly, older Canadians are exploring “Living Apart Together” (LAT) arrangements, where partners maintain separate residences while remaining in a committed relationship. Research by the Vanier Institute and AARP suggests that LAT relationships allow for autonomy while maintaining emotional connection—a potential middle ground for couples who struggle with full-time togetherness in retirement. For many, retirement means the loss of structure, identity, and purpose, particularly for those who have closely tied their sense of self to their professional roles. This loss can create irritability, aimlessness, and tension in a partnership. As Harvard Business Review put it, retirement can be especially tough for men because “so many men are bad at retirement” (HBR, 2021). This emotional void often spills over into the relationship, testing its resilience. Retirement often brings a sudden reshuffling of roles at home. Many men who may have spent decades focused on their careers struggle to adjust to a more balanced domestic lifestyle. The Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives notes that retirement can expose long-standing gendered inequalities in household labour, leading to friction, resentment, and, at times, relationship breakdown. How to Thrive—Together or Apart The goal isn’t perfection; it’s peace, fulfillment, and ample personal space to breathe. Here’s how to get there: creatively, practically, and honestly. 1. Have the Real Conversations Ask the questions you avoided when life was too busy: • “Are we happy?” • “What do you want out of the next ten years?” • “Are there things we’ve never talked about that matter now?” Unspoken expectations are relationship landmines. Bring them to light—gently and often. 2. Separate Bedrooms, United Front Don’t frown; they are more common than you might think and less scandalous than it sounds. Separate sleep equals better rest, less irritation, and sometimes a more intentional intimate life. Please don’t consider it a breakup; position it as a better mattress strategy. 3. The Basement Suite or In-Law Apartment Plan This represents the sweet spot between staying together and going entirely separate. Living in the same house with clearly defined zones provides each partner with breathing room and independence, especially when you’ve grown apart but don’t want to disrupt finances or family. Ground rules are essential: • Who is responsible for what costs? • Shared meals or separate? • New partners—yay or nay? It’s not perfect, but it can be practical. 4. A Second Space: Cottage, Trailer, or Tiny Cabin A humble trailer or rustic cabin might save your marriage. It’s not about luxury—it’s about space, autonomy, and silence when needed. Whether alternating weekends or solo sabbaticals, having a backup place to go can restore harmony at home. 5. Travel Separately (Sometimes) One of you wants to hike Machu Picchu, while the other prefers to nap in Muskoka. You don’t have to compromise; you can take turns. Alternate between solo trips, friend getaways, or short solo retreats. You’ll both return refreshed—and more engaged. 6. Discover New Purpose (or Income) A restless, lost, or bored partner can quietly sabotage the household. Encourage: • Volunteering • Consulting or part-time work • Mentoring • Taking courses or teaching others • Rediscovering old passions If Divorce Is the Best Option At times, the most honest act is to end a marriage with kindness. If this is the only option, there are important factors to consider: Financial Reality Check • Assets will be divided, including the house, pensions, RRSPs, etc. • Expenses double: two homes, two insurance policies, and two fridges to stock. • Retirement income may not be sufficient for both lives. • Legal costs and timing matter more than ever now—because the time to recover financially is limited.  There are no pensions in tears. Therefore, if you choose this route, plan ahead. Family Impact • Adult children might feel shocked—or even angry. • Grandchildren can pose challenging questions. • Long-term friendships may weaken. • Shared traditions may require reinvention. This process can be amicable. A new term has emerged among women caring for their ill or aging ex-husbands: “Wasbands.” These women step up with empathy rather than obligation. Vows no longer bind them; instead, they are guided by compassion. Honestly, humanity wins in these situations. There is still love, respect, and history—even if it’s no longer romantic. That is not failure; it is growth. Rewrite the Rules Retirement is not a dead end; it’s a creative reawakening—if you approach it that way. Retirement is a significant life transition—not just financially, but relationally. Like any other chapter in life, it requires renegotiation, mutual respect, and a willingness to evolve. Some couples find deeper intimacy, while others redefine their relationships entirely. The good news? Whether it's under one roof or two, retirement can still be a time of connection, discovery, and, yes, romance. But it also requires some good, old-fashioned adulting. Yes, *adulting*—that modern word we usually reserve for paying bills, booking dental appointments, and reading the fine print. It turns out it’s equally essential in retirement. Emotional maturity, communication, boundary-setting, and a shared approach to evolving roles are all keys. Think of it like the Sonnet Insurance commercials that cheekily remind us adulting is hard but worth it. Retirement is also a factor, especially when approached with intention and a sense of humour. This is your last chapter. Make it a good one. Whether you stay together, sleep apart, live separately under one roof, or consciously uncouple, do it with clarity, kindness, and courage. The goal isn’t a perfect love story; it’s a fulfilling life for both of you. When in doubt, take a walk (alone if necessary). Share a joke. Communicate like adults. And for the love of long-term care insurance, remember: resentment compounds faster than interest. If you enjoyed this article or thought, “Oh wow, this is exactly what my friend/parent/relative needs to read,” please share it. You can also subscribe to the Retirement Literacy newsletter for more smart, candid, and occasionally cheeky insights on navigating life after full-time work. Let’s make retirement not just the end of work, but the start of something meaningful, fulfilling, and a little fabulous. Don’t Retire…Rewire! p.s. Know someone who’s about to retire?— Why not share this worksheet?  It’s the best pre-retirement checklist they never knew they needed. 6 Questions to Ask Before Retiring Together Retirement reshapes your schedule, your identity—and your relationship. Before you hand in your keycard, ask these candid questions with your partner.  Because the toughest part of retirement isn’t money—it’s time. And you’ll be spending a lot more of it together. 1. What Do You Want This Chapter of Life to Look Like? Dreams misaligned can lead to daily friction. Do you crave adventure while your partner seeks peace and quiet? Map it out—together. 2. How Much Time Do We Really Want to Spend Together? “Always together” sounds sweet—until it feels stifling. Define your ideal balance between shared time and personal space. 3. What Roles Are We Playing Now—And Do They Need to Change? Retirement often means rebalancing housework, caregiving, and emotional labor. What’s fair now that you’re both at home? 4. Are There Any Long-Standing Frustrations We’ve Avoided Talking About? Retirement shines a spotlight on old resentments. It's better to talk than to silently stew over how the dishwasher is loaded. 5. How Will We Handle Money Decisions as a Team? With changing income and more shared expenses, financial transparency and joint planning are more crucial than ever. 6. What Will Give Each of Us a Sense of Purpose—Individually? A restless or bored partner can bring tension into the home. Talk about passions, volunteer work, or part-time pursuits that bring meaning. Want more smart, candid insights?  Visit www.retirementliteracy.com to start rewriting your next chapter with clarity and confidence.

Coping with Grief During the Holiday Season

Baylor experts suggest three strategies to help cope with grief during the holidays (Image Credit: D-Keine/Getty Images) The holidays are typically a time of joy and celebration for most people, but this time of year can be very different for grieving people. The death of a loved one can be especially hard during the holidays as they are full of memories, traditions, and sensations associated with the holidays – all reminders that this year is different, and someone is no longer here. What can someone in the midst of grief do to make this time more positive and step toward emotional healing? William (Bill) G. Hoy, D.Min, FT., clinical professor and associate director of Medical Humanities, and Candi Cann, Ph.D., associate professor of religion in the Honors College at Baylor, suggest three strategies for grieving people to cope with their loss during the holidays. “Holidays are also hard in grief because they are built around relationships,” Hoy said. “Family gatherings cannot ever be the same, and, of course, memories of bad relationships cause us to realize the past cannot be changed.” Acknowledge your pain The first step is to admit the pain of grieving. “Saying goodbye to a loved one is no easy task, and, undoubtedly, it feels different than you could ever have expected,” said Hoy. Cann pointed out that some deaths bring about complicated grief if the loss is from a difficult relationship. “It is okay to feel relief in addition to grief and it is important to validate all of your feelings – it’s a complicated grief because it was a complicated relationship.” Hoy said that culturally people tend to try to get around the pain without facing it, which only makes it harder later on. “There is an empty chair at the table on this special occasion. The grief following a death assault at every turn with the reality that they will not be returning to the table. Because holiday grief is so painful, there is no need to try to escape the pain this holiday season.” Take care of yourself Self-care is vital during this time, said Cann. She encourages grieving people to stay active, eat healthy, go outside to be in nature and get enough sleep. “It’s totally normal to need more sleep when you're depressed and grieving, you just have to be gracious with yourself about that,” she said. Hoy added, “Remember that grief is very tiring and - even under the best of circumstances - holidays are very taxing.” Give yourself permission to turn down invitations or leave parties early. In addition to taking care of your physical health, Cann recommends staying engaged in your community or church. “Being in community with others is very beneficial for your mental health.” At the same time, be honest with yourself about what you want to do and only accept invitations or participate in activities that you feel you can handle, said Hoy. Evaluate traditions and embrace memories When the holidays arrive, many people want to change everything about the holidays to avoid the sad feelings, said Hoy. Both he and Cann suggest evaluating family traditions, choosing those traditions that are most important to continue and including the dead through new traditions. “Don't forget to embrace your memories of past holidays and special events as you face this season,” Hoy said. “We cannot have things like they were, but we can hold in our hearts the memories of days gone by. You may want to light a special candle or purchase a special holiday decoration and hang it in your loved one's memory.” “A lot of people feel like when that person is gone, the love is gone too, but the love is still there,” Cann said. “You wouldn't feel the grief or the big hole that you now have if you didn't have all of this love in the first place.” She suggests embracing their presence by including a place at the table for Christmas dinner, making their favorite recipe or many other ways to continue the bonds and positively remember the dead in your life. By doing these things, “you're including them in your conversation, and you're making space for that person, both literally and symbolically.” How to support someone who is grieving Being supportive of someone grieving requires patience and vulnerability. “Engage with the person and ask how you can best support them,” Cann said. “And let them know that you are thinking about them during this time.” “A lot of people don't want to bring it up because they don't want to make people sad at a joyful time,” Cann said. “But the point is, they already are sad, so bringing it up allows them to express it” and feel accepted in their pain. Hoy said to remember that there is no set timeline for an individual grief journey. It is also important to remember that not all grief is related to death. There are many types of loss that people experience such as divorce or disease. We can’t decide or predict what defines another person's grief, but we can offer love and support. Approaching the holidays when experiencing grief over the death of someone or a deep loss may be painful at first, but using these strategies can help us face the future by celebrating with gratitude what we had in the past.

Covering the music beat? Then tune in and get in touch with our resident hip-hop expert

Augusta University Professor Adam Diehl is an expert in hip-hop culture, lyrical analysis, rap as a form of literature and specifically, the works of Kendrick Lamar. Diehl gives an update on what's new in hip-hop and of course, answers questions about Lamar and his highly anticipated new album.  How has the hip-hop music scene changed over the last 5 years? The hip-hop music scene has changed faster than any other genre the last five years. Whereas country still uses radio play and music videos to gauge success (along with album sales and streaming numbers) and rock uses touring to supplement and offset recording costs, pop and hip-hop have a great advantage in that they can raise people to stardom almost overnight. In fact, several of the biggest pop stars like Billie Eilish and Post Malone made their rapid ascents through the same channel many of the top hip-hop stars did: Soundcloud. Because this platform allowed new artists the chance to put their music alongside heavyweights, it democratized the listening process. What sent Soundcloud soaring? To put it succinctly, Soundcloud was the great reset of the hip-hop world. But when COVID hit and musicians couldn't tour for upwards of two years, the hip-hop community soared past country and rock (which they were already outselling pre-pandemic) because they didn't base their profit model on touring. Even pop stars were at a disadvantage, because the TV appearances and interviews they used to promote their new releases were few and far between for at least a year, and virtual events just couldn't replicate award show appearances and performances. Hip-hop, meanwhile, continued to be "Black America's CNN" and reported on the protests and outrage following the high-profile deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. The resurgence of Black Lives Matter brought mainstream media and cultural attention to the Black community, and as such the importance of hip-hop grew, just as it did in the wake of the Rodney King verdict and the deaths of Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown and Eric Garner. How has the economy of music changed? Most people under 20 don't own any CDs. What money these kids don't spend on music can now go to a modern cultural institution: the music festival. Increasingly, cities are hosting these previously camping-required concerts, which has been a particular advantage for hip-hop artists, who don't need roadies or sometimes even other people on stage. All they need is a setlist with six to 10 catchy songs, an entrancing light show, a DJ/engineer and a strong stage presence, and they can captivate the audience as easily as some of the all-time greats of any genre. Going forward, the music industry is going to be about return on investment. Instead of developing artists over a five-year period and then letting them blossom for two to three decades, they are looking for someone to explode in popularity instantly, stay in the spotlight and public consciousness consistently for three to five years, and then maybe stick around. TikTok is, in many ways, analogous to this career arc: the videos are short, the makers are -- to some extent -- largely forgettable, and the popularity relies heavily on a "hook." It's no surprise that hip-hop has been the most adopted genre by TikTokers: the genre has been more effective than any other in terms of codifying "catch phrases." And that's what TikTok is going for: something to hook viewers into watching more. Did the Super Bowl appearance by hip-hop artists take the genre to a whole new level as far as mainstream music? If the Super Bowl halftime show in 2022 did anything, it showed that rap and hip-hop are now as household friendly as rock, country and pop. Perhaps because so many best-selling rock acts had already played the halftime show, and perhaps because the pop acts of recent years had failed to maintain the public's attention, the 2022 halftime show featured one of hip-hop's founding fathers: Dr. Dre. His menagerie of artists' careers stretched over 30 years, and the time constraints of the show made hip-hop the ideal soundtrack. In a 13-minute set, six performers all got their moment in the California sun, and the mega-mix model so often used in clubs was perfect to segue from artist to artist. What 30 to 35 years ago was "Parental Advisory" is now the music that parents listen to. The target demo of the Super Bowl would've thought someone like Simon & Garfunkel or The Eagles much more risky picks than Dr. Dre & Co., even if their music was more family-friendly. Many casual music fans thought Kendrick Lamar was the head-scratcher because of his shorter tenure in the spotlight, but the younger generations watching were much more interested in what Kendrick did than "old heads" like Snoop Dogg and Mary J. Blige. Was this new album by Kendrick Lamar overdue? The new Kendrick Lamar album comes right on time: it is the definitive COVID album. If he had released in spring/summer 2020 when he originally intended (i.e. if the early March 2020 pgLang rollout was foreshadowing his record release), this would be a substantially different work of art. Instead, the project voices what so many people have endured in the pandemic: domestic turmoil. The tracks cover a vast array of topics -- from vaccinations to transgenderism to cancel culture -- but the unifying theme is therapy. As much emphasis as physical health got over the past two years, the pandemic was arguably just as bad if not worse for people's mental health. Accordingly, this album goes into dark valleys in Kendrick's and his family's trials and traumas: child abuse, sex addiction, separation/divorce, deaths, etc. In the two years that society has been persevering through the pandemic, countless marriages and millions of lives have been shaken to their cores. Listening to this double-album adds another tremor to our already-jostled souls. Tracks like "We Cry Together" capture the rapid-fire romantic arguments that can quickly escalate from disappointment to suicidal ideation, and "United in Grief" recreates the sense of a panic attack with its intensifying lyric delivery and drumbeats. Anxiety and depression are the recurring moods of this album, and the track list ranges in sonic textures -- from Lamar's tried-and-true vintage gangsta rap beats to the utterly unpredictable piano flourishes that come straight from a spoken word poetry reading -- to reflect the all-too-familiar combination of monotony and chaos that the world has undergone for the last two years. It is unforgettable -- just like COVID-19 -- but also, perhaps, something we'd rather not relive. Why do some consider Lamar the most influential rapper of our generation? Kendrick Lamar only has two real rivals for most influential rapper of the generation: Kanye West and Drake. Although Kanye is 10 years older, his career overlaps to a large degree with Kendrick's. Kanye's influence certainly comes more in the production of songs than in lyrical delivery, but his subject matter has been very contagious. Kendrick's mentioning of a Birkin bag in "N95" would never have happened if not for Kanye's lyrical (and career) forays into high fashion. Drake, on the other hand, is probably the rapper most influenced by Kanye...who went on to influence the most artists. Without Drake, many rappers wouldn't have had the blueprint for being singers as well as MCs. What Kendrick brings to the conversation is, in a way, more elusive; however, he without a doubt has raised the bar for lyrical delivery and flow, such that rappers have a better chance at success if they are comically basic than if they are merely competent. It's as if Kendrick took Eminem's velocity and used it to speak on bigger picture issues. Kendrick has also proven to be a fashion-forward rapper, collaborating with Reebok, Nike and Converse over the last few years. His influence might be most prominent in the "realness" of his lyrics: without Kendrick's "everyday life music," the emergence and popularization of "Soundcloud rap" might have been significantly limited. Instead, he uses Kodak Black -- one of the most successful of all Soundcloud-era rappers -- on Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers. If Kendrick isn't the most influential rapper of his generation, it's because his ambition and execution have placed him with the all-time greats, and oftentimes that puts artists at odds with their contemporaries. In 100 years, people won't remember some big acts because popularity wears off, but they will still celebrate Kendrick because his work is excellent. Looking to know more? Hit up Adam Diehl today -- simply click on his icon now to arrange an interview.

Aston University experts look at how cash and social media are part of 'coping with success'

"It's the whole 'money doesn't make you happy' adage... two fifths of football players are bankrupt within 5 years of retirement, while a third divorce in the same period" Professor Andy Lymer, Aston University In this episode, Steve chats to Dr Tahmineh Tayebi and Professor Andy Lymer and the social media abuse and financial responsibility that comes with being a top footballer and athlete. Dr Tahmineh Tayebi looks at the linguistics of social media abuse. She starts by understanding the fans' perspective. They've invested time, money and trust in clubs/players and feel entitled to opinions/criticism - but the issue is the language used. Explicit and hateful language - often racist and/or violent - is the easiest to cope with, as it can be banned. But there's lots of "clever" offensive language which breaks no laws and is difficult to spot but still hurtful. Tahmineh discusses loose boundaries between freedom of expression and bullying. She also points to the recent social media boycott and the BT Hope United project. Professor Andy Lymer looks at the issues faced by wealthy players. He cited interesting research showing 2/5 of football players are bankrupt within 5 years of retirement, while 1/3 divorce in the same period. Players have short careers and either need to earn enough to last them with good advice or need to do something else after playing. However, Professor Lymer says many still quickly burn through their fortunes. He notes Britain is bad at educating people in dealing with money, especially in 'decumulation' - e.g. making it last, planning savings for pensions and downsizing. He points to various government-backed schemes/helplines which can help anyone. The big issue is top footballers attracting long queues of people wanting to advise their slice. Getting the right, trustworthy advice is the problem. In football itself, big clubs are guiding young, vulnerable players as part of their development, and various players' organisations also help, such as a 24-hour helpline. But the stats show us it's not enough, and Andy calls for the sector to do more in education.

Baylor Expert Shares Six Lessons We Can Learn From Mr. Rogers About Being a Good Neighbor

WACO, Texas (Nov. 14, 2019) – In this polarized time, when it requires little effort to tear a stranger apart on social media or lash out at a family member because of a difference of opinion, the gentle cadence of Fred Rogers singing a simple song about neighbors loving and helping each other is a welcome respite. The much-anticipated movie, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” starring Academy Award-winner Tom Hanks as Rogers – known to generations simply as “Mr. Rogers,” the host of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” – will be released in theaters on Nov. 22. The official movie trailer posted on YouTube has drawn nearly 12 million views. Civics education expert Brooke Blevins, Ph.D., associate professor of social studies education and chair of Baylor University’s department of curriculum and instruction, said the renewed focus on the beloved and soft-spoken TV personality, who died in 2003, might be coming at just the right time. “When you watch Mr. Rogers, time slows down, and you are able to take a deep breath as complicated issues become more understandable and the beauty of relationships is reinforced,” Blevins said. “Imagine if we all walked into the world with the belief that each person was inherently worthy. Imagine if our goal was to help each other recognize that we are worthy of being loved. Imagine if we sought to listen more than we spoke,” she said. “I imagine if this was the case, that our conversation would change, our understanding of those around us would shift, and our national conversations would be more civil.” Below, Blevins shares six lessons we can learn from Mr. Rogers about being better citizens. Each person is worthy to be loved and heard. Like Mr. Rogers, we must recognize that each person we interact with is worthy to be loved and listened to. We must recognize that each person has unique experiences, fears, losses and triumphs that shape the way they understand what’s happening around them. We need to do much more listening and far less talking. We should work together to tackle tough issues in reasoned and evidenced-based ways with civility and a genuine desire to understand those around us. Use your platform for good. Mr. Rogers was deeply committed to creating a better world. Mr. Rogers did not take his role on TV lightly. He saw it as an opportunity to help young people make sense of the world around them and to become more knowledgeable and engaged citizens. He saw television as an opportunity to create community and a shared sense of purpose. As he once noted, “The space between the television screen and whoever happens to be receiving it, I consider that holy ground. A lot happens there.” Lessons we often think are for children are for adults as well. Mr. Rogers was a teacher, a pastor and a friend. His lessons were drawn from the everyday experiences of children’s lives, from current political events to personal and emotional trials children experience. Not only were these lessons for children, but for their parents who were also watching. His lessons focused on cultivating civic discourse, reasoned judgment and evidence-based decision-making, but most importantly, his lessons cultivated understanding and empathy for one’s neighbor. In his conversations and examples, he drew on our shared humanity to help young people make sense of an ever-changing world. Slow down. In a time of fast-paced and often silly cartoons that were designed to move quickly from scene to scene, Mr. Rogers maintained a much slower and thoughtful pace. A pace that was compelling to both young and old alike. He explored issues slowly and with depth, without the silly antics that are so often used to keep children and adults’ attention. He used his time with viewers to develop a relationship that valued their experience and honored their emotional complexity. He sent the message that all people are inherently valuable and are capable of loving and being loved. It’s OK to discuss tough issues – even with children. But be civil and understanding when you do it. As an ordained minister and gifted musician, Mr. Rogers utilized his vocational skills to create a safe space in which difficult conversations could occur. He never shied away from the tough conversations. From issues such as divorce, death, assassination and even 9-11, Mr. Rogers’ helped young people navigate emotionally traumatic events with both knowledge and compassion. Mr. Rogers knew that by talking about our fears, losses and misunderstandings, we could work together to build a better future. As he wrestled with these issues, he asked questions, he inquired, he listened, and he had children do the same. He had a deep-rooted commitment to helping children navigate their world. Be a good neighbor. Being a good neighbor is caring about those around you. It’s not just about tolerance, but truly seeking to understand those in your community. Being a good neighbor means helping those around you recognize that they play an important part in making the world a better and more just place. It means working together to solve complex issues and cultivate a world in which all people can fulfill their true purpose. ABOUT DR. BROOKE BLEVINS Brooke Blevins, Ph.D., teaches both undergraduate and graduate courses in secondary education, social studies education and multicultural education. As a former secondary teacher, she has a passion for equipping teachers with the resources needed to engage in humanizing social studies education. Dr. Blevins also serves as the co-director for the iEngage Summer Civics Institute, for which she and co-founder Dr. Karon LeCompte have raised more than $250,000 in grant funding. Dr. Blevins’ research focuses on social studies education as a means to prepare active and engaged citizens. In her work, Dr. Blevins examines how to prepare teachers to develop both political clarity and pedagogical content knowledge that encourages them to engage in transformational based and humanizing social studies education. In addition, Dr. Blevins also is interested in how to educate and empower young people to become active civic participants through participation in action civics and digital technologies. ABOUT BAYLOR UNIVERSITY Baylor University is a private Christian University and a nationally ranked research institution. The University provides a vibrant campus community for more than 17,000 students by blending interdisciplinary research with an international reputation for educational excellence and a faculty commitment to teaching and scholarship. Chartered in 1845 by the Republic of Texas through the efforts of Baptist pioneers, Baylor is the oldest continually operating University in Texas. Located in Waco, Baylor welcomes students from all 50 states and more than 90 countries to study a broad range of degrees among its 12 nationally recognized academic divisions. ABOUT BAYLOR SCHOOL OF EDUCATION Founded in 1919, Baylor School of Education ranks among the nation’s top 20 education schools located at private universities. The School’s research portfolio complements its long-standing commitment to excellence in teaching and student mentoring. Baylor’s undergraduate program in teacher education has earned national distinction for innovative partnerships with local schools that provide future teachers deep clinical preparation, while graduate programs culminating in both the Ed.D. and Ph.D. prepare outstanding leaders, teachers and clinicians through an intentional blend of theory and practice. Visit www.baylor.edu/soe to learn more.

Watching Holiday Rom-Coms Can Be a Hallmark of a Strong Relationship, Marriage

Staying in for a good holiday romance movie, or Hallmark marathon? Ronald Rogge, psychology professor from the University of Rochester, says holiday rom-coms and chill can be great for your marriage or relationship.  Watching and discussing five movies about relationships over a month can cut the three-year divorce rate for newlyweds in half, according to Ronald Rogge, associate professor of clinical psychology at the University of Rochester. Rogge’s 2014 study involving 174 couples was the first long-term investigation to compare different types of early marriage intervention programs. The findings showed that an inexpensive, fun, and relatively simple movie-and-talk approach can be just as effective as other more intensive therapist-led methods—reducing the divorce or separation rate from 24 to 11 percent after three years. "We thought the movie treatment would help, but not nearly as much as the other programs in which we were teaching all of these state-of-the-art skills," said Rogge, lead author of the study. "The results suggested that husbands and wives have a pretty good sense of what they might be doing right and wrong in their relationships. Thus, you might not need to teach them a whole lot of skills to cut the divorce rate. You might just need to get them to think about how they are currently behaving. And for five movies to give us a benefit over three years—that is awesome."   Overall, Rogge’s research found that couples who'd watched relationship & romance movies together and talked about what they watched, were 50 percent less likely to divorce.   Other holiday-specific movies used in the original study, or that work well to watch as a couple, include “Family Man,” “Four Christmases,” “Surviving Christmas,” “When Harry Met Sally,” “Love Actually,” and, of course, “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Teaching kids about addiction and the opioid epidemic

If there is one thing we all know, it is that children are resilient, aware and often impacted by the actions and environments that surround them. And as America is still in the grips of the opioid epidemic, it was only a matter of time before a traditional and respected outlet like Sesame Street took the lead on making sure children could relate. According to Sesame Workshop, 5.7 million children under the age of 11 in the U.S. live with a parent battling a substance abuse disorder. That's one in eight kids and doesn't include children who have been separated from a parent due to circumstances like divorce, incarceration or death related to their addiction.  "Addiction is often seen as a 'grown-up' issue, but it impacts children in ways that aren't always visible," said Sherrie Westin, President of Social Impact and Philanthropy at Sesame Workshop. "Having a parent battling addiction can be one of the most isolating and stressful situations young children and their families face." "'Sesame Street' has always been a source of comfort to children during the toughest of times, and our new resources are designed to break down the stigma of parental addiction and help families build hope for the future." CBS NEWS, October 10 Are you a journalist covering the opioid epidemic or addiction issues in America?  If so, let our expert help with your questions and coverage. There are a lot of questions and that’s where we can help. Dr. Marc Sweeney is the Founding Dean of the School of Pharmacy at Cedarville University and is an expert in the fields of drug abuse, prescription drug abuse and Opioid addiction. Marc is available to speak with media regarding this growing issue. Simply click on his icon to arrange an interview.