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GRANDSPLAINING...It's as Bad as it Sounds!

Summary: "Grandsplaining" is a playful term that captures the all-too-familiar situation where younger generations offer unsolicited advice to older family members, often in a manner that is as condescending as it is unhelpful. This behaviour can be perceived as disrespectful and potentially creates awkward communication barriers, emotional strain, and family tension. Rooted in ageist stereotypes, it can even undermine elders' self-esteem. Here, we explore alternatives to grandsplaining, including the radical concepts of genuinely listening, asking open-ended questions, demonstrating empathy, and avoiding assumptions. These suggestions aim to help adult children support their older family members—not merely swoop in with a "fix-it" attitude. The Disrespectful Impact of Condescending Advice on Seniors When I helped older Canadians navigate financing their retirements, I often witnessed what can only be described as "grandsplaining in the wild." Conversations between adult children and their elders usually felt less like dialogues and more like lectures—one-sided advice sessions that left everyone gritting their teeth. The younger relative, likely well-meaning, would offer suggestions like, “You should downsize and buy a condo,” “Sell and rent,” or, the pièce de resistance, “Move in with family!” Judging by the withering looks from their elders, it was clear this approach wasn’t winning any "Favorite Child" awards. The older family members often felt patronized, as though their decades of life experience had been conveniently forgotten. The advice was condescending, painfully obvious, and usually impractical or unwanted. The dynamic reminded me of the cringeworthy experience of being "mansplained." And that’s when it hit me: this is “grandsplaining.” Unfortunately, grandsplaining can turn retirement planning conversations into a crash course on how not to communicate! Fortunately, with a little effort (and much less lecturing), families can turn this ship around and build stronger, more respectful relationships. What is "Grandsplaining"? In an age where communication flows freely across digital platforms, I define "grandsplaining" as a colloquial expression to describe a situation where younger generations offer unsolicited advice to older individuals, often patronizing or condescendingly. Grandsplaining typically involves a younger person explaining something to an older individual in a way that belittles their experience or intelligence. The term combines "grand" (suggesting age or status) and "splaining" (a slang term for condescendingly explaining something). While the intention behind such advice may often be well-meaning, the delivery can be patronizing, reinforcing stereotypes about aging and competence. This behaviour can significantly undermine the dignity and autonomy of seniors, leading to feelings of frustration, resentment, and a sense of being marginalized. Understanding the nuances of grandsplaining sheds light on intergenerational dynamics in these conversations. We must find a better, more respectful, and effective way to communicate with our elders considering retiring. The phenomenon of grandsplaining can manifest in various contexts, not just financing retirement—whether it’s discussing technology, lifestyle choices, healthcare options, or even social norms. For instance, a grandchild might explain how to use a smartphone app to a grandparent, assuming that the older generation cannot understand it despite their own lifelong experience with technology in different forms. Communication Breakdown In an era where financial literacy and retirement planning are more crucial than ever, "grandsplaining" has become a significant barrier to effective communication between generations. Retirees often feel overwhelmed or dismissed when their relatives provide unsolicited advice, especially if it contradicts their wants or financial strategies. This can lead to a reluctance to engage in discussions about finances, creating a rift that undermines the potential for collaborative planning. When adult children dominate conversations with preconceived notions of financial management, it stifles the opportunity for seniors to express their feelings, share their knowledge, and collaborate on effective retirement strategies. The Generation Gap in Financial Understanding Adult children may rely on outdated financial paradigms that no longer apply to their elders' realities. The economic landscape has changed dramatically over the past few decades, with shifts in real estate markets, a lack of formal retirement plans, and longer life expectancies. This generational gap can lead to misguided advice that does not consider modern challenges such as retiring with debt, little or no pension income, or rising living costs. Emotional Strain and Family Tension When relatives impose their views, it can evoke frustration, resentment, or inadequacy in their elders. This dynamic can shift the conversation from one focused on financial empowerment to one steeped in emotional conflict and shame. Instead of fostering a supportive environment for discussing retirement goals, grandsplaining can create adversarial relationships where seniors feel belittled or pressured, further complicating an already sensitive topic. Erosion of Autonomy When relatives try to impose their methods or strategies, it can undermine the seniors’ independence, making them feel a lack of control over their finances. Financial decisions are deeply personal and often intertwined with individual circumstances, goals, and values. This loss of agency not only affects financial outcomes but can also impact the mental well-being of older adults, leading to feelings of incompetence or anxiety about their financial futures. The Context of Ageism The implications of ageism are particularly concerning in a rapidly changing world characterized by technological advancements and unprecedented changes in social norms. While younger generations may genuinely wish to assist their elders in navigating these changes, their actions can reinforce negative stereotypes rather than empower seniors. Grandsplaining highlights the generational divide, creating an "us versus them" mentality that hinders collaboration and mutual understanding. Grandsplaining is deeply intertwined with ageism, a pervasive societal attitude that discriminates against individuals based on their age. Ageism manifests in various forms, including stereotypes that depict older adults as technologically inept, resistant to change, or incapable of learning. These stereotypes can lead to the marginalization of seniors within families and communities. Not cool! When younger generations adopt a condescending tone, they inadvertently reinforce ageist stereotypes that portray older adults as out of touch or incapable. This affects individual relationships and perpetuates societal narratives devaluing older individuals' contributions and wisdom. The Impact on Relationships Grandsplaining can strain relationships between generations, fostering resentment and conflict. For many seniors, unsolicited advice can infringe on their autonomy, making them feel infantilized or disrespected. I've seen firsthand how parents can react defensively to younger family members and sometimes withdraw altogether from conversations. When assistance is delivered condescendingly, it can backfire. The resulting tension may prevent meaningful conversations about important topics, such as healthcare decisions or lifestyle changes, which are crucial for seniors' well-being. The Psychological Impact on Seniors Being on the receiving end of condescending advice can also lead to diminished self-esteem and increased feelings of inadequacy. Seniors may begin to internalize the belief that they are not capable of making sound decisions or understanding new concepts, which can further exacerbate issues related to aging, such as cognitive decline and depression.  Encouraging Respectful Communication with Seniors Addressing the issue of grandsplaining requires a concerted effort from both younger and older generations to cultivate respectful communication. Here are several strategies to foster more positive intergenerational interactions: 1. Actively Listen: Younger people should prioritize active listening when engaging with seniors. This involves hearing what the older person says and validating their experiences and perspectives. Younger people can create a more respectful dialogue by acknowledging their knowledge and expertise. 2. Seek to Understand: Younger generations must approach conversations with empathy. To quote Stephen Covey's wise words, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."  Recognizing seniors' challenges, such as health issues or technological gaps, can foster a sense of compassion. This approach can help bridge the generational divide and promote more constructive conversations. 3. Avoid Assumptions: The tendency to assume that older adults are out of touch or incapable can lead to grandsplaining. Instead, younger individuals should avoid making assumptions about seniors’ knowledge or abilities. Asking questions like “What do you think about this?” or “How do you feel about that?” can empower seniors to share their insights and experiences. 4. Offer Support, Not Solutions: Ask questions like, “What does a successful retirement look like to you? How do you plan to finance your retirement? Do you want to stay in this home? Are you open to moving? If so, where? Do you have enough in savings? How can I support you in having an independent and dignified retirement”? 5. Understand the Bigger Picture: Don’t assume that the traditional strategies of downsizing, selling, renting, or moving in with family are reasonable solutions for your elder in today’s economic environment. These retirement strategies are problematic for today’s seniors. In most cases, downsizing only works financially if the retiree is willing to move to a smaller, more affordable community. Most seniors want to stay in their communities and not move away from family, friends, churches, or familiar shops and services. Selling, renting, or moving in with family requires the sale of their significant appreciating asset. Given today's longer life expectancies, it's not always a wise choice. 6. Humour: By skillfully using humour, you can turn potentially patronizing situations into moments of connection and shared joy, ensuring that conversations with elders remain meaningful, respectful and memorable. For example, you could start the conversation this way; "The last thing I want to do is give you advice. That would be ridiculous. You’re the wise sensei here—I’m just the clueless apprentice trying to save enough downpayment to buy a shoebox of a house." This approach humorously flips the script, poking fun at the presumptuousness of unsolicited advice while emphasizing the elder's experience and wisdom. People often feel judged or vulnerable when discussing finances or significant life changes. Humour shifts the dynamic, showing that you approach the conversation as an ally, not an adversary. For example: "Talking about budgets isn’t fun for anyone—I mean, who loves math? But it’s worth it if we can figure out how to turn this retirement conversation into the fourth of July rather than Labour Day!" This playful approach lowers barriers, making the discussion feel collaborative rather than critical. Laughter fosters connection. Sharing a laugh creates a sense of camaraderie, making it easier for people to open up about sensitive topics. When elders feel that you’re not judging them but partnering with them—and can make them smile—they’re far more likely to trust your intentions and take your advice seriously. Humour invites the other person to join the conversation, breaking the ice and encouraging them to share their thoughts. It sets a tone that the conversation is a dialogue, not a lecture. Example: "You’ve been making great financial decisions for decades. I’m here to ensure we don’t accidentally end up with a basement full of K-tel Veg-O-Matics… unless that’s the plan?" This allows them to laugh, respond, and engage while respecting their autonomy. A word of caution.  Humour is only effective when paired with genuine respect and sensitivity. Pay attention to your elder's reactions and adapt if they seem uncomfortable or unamused. The goal is to build rapport, not to win laughs at their expense. Using humour skillfully, you can turn potentially patronizing situations into moments of connection and shared joy, ensuring that conversations with elders are respectful and memorable. Before You Go Good financial planning thrives on clear communication, but grandsplaining tends to turn productive discussions into monologues that undermine elder autonomy and trigger emotional static. To create a more harmonious environment, families should swap their megaphones for listening ears and embrace a collaborative approach that respects seniors' wisdom and frames younger relatives’ financial theories as conversation starters, not TED Talks. After all, when it comes to navigating retirement planning, a little less "know-it-all" and a bit more "let’s figure it out together" can go a long way. Think of it as building a bridge, not a lecture podium—because nothing says "family unity" like tackling compound interest together! Don’t Retire…Re-Wire! Sue My Book is Now Available for Pre-Order I hope you will consider pre-ordering a copy of Your Retirement Reset for you, a friend or loved one. It's available September 8, 2026 published by ECW Press - You can now order at Indigo or Amazon. And if you love supporting Canadian booksellers, please also check with your local independent bookstore. Most can easily order it for you.

World Cup 2026: Hofstra experts on the science, health, and business behind the tournament.

The 2026 FIFA World Cup comes to the New York metro area, and Hofstra University is ready. From the training room to the boardroom, Hofstra faculty bring research-backed expertise to the stories journalists are chasing this tournament season. Featured Topic The Cultural Game Why soccer means what it means and what this World Cup moment represents The World Cup has always been about more than the game. Brenda Elsey, Professor of History, studies soccer as a cultural and political force across the Americas -- from grassroots identity to gender and power. She can speak to what this tournament represents as a historical moment, on and off the field. Expert Brenda Elsey - History Featured Topic Health and Performance on the World Stage Expert insight on what it takes to compete and recover at a World Cup. Competing at this level means managing the body and the mind across weeks of high-stakes matches with almost no recovery time. Hofstra's health and kinesiology faculty are your sources for the stories behind the performance. Experts Jayne Ellinger - Athletic Training Katie Sell - Exercise Physiology Anna Len - Physical Therapy Genevieve Weber - Mental Health Featured Topic Beyond the Pitch What the World Cup does to cities, economies, and public health systems From local business impact and tourism economics to disease surveillance and emergency preparedness - Hofstra faculty are ready to talk. Experts Andy M. Forman - Marketing & Tourism Lauren Hindman - Management Martine Hackett - Population Health Meshack Achore - Population Health

Brexit at 10: A Decade After the Vote That Changed Britain

On June 23, 2016, voters in the United Kingdom made a historic decision that would reshape the country's relationship with Europe and reverberate around the world. Ten years later, Brexit remains one of the most significant political and economic events of the modern era, with its effects still being felt across trade, immigration, governance, and international relations. While the United Kingdom formally left the European Union in 2020, debate continues over Brexit's long-term impact. Supporters point to greater national sovereignty and independent trade policy, while critics highlight economic challenges, labour shortages, and new barriers to commerce. The referendum's legacy has also influenced political movements beyond Britain, sparking broader conversations about globalization, national identity, and the future of multinational institutions. As policymakers, businesses, and citizens assess a decade of change, experts are examining what Brexit has achieved, where it has fallen short, and what it reveals about the evolving relationship between democracy, economics, and national sovereignty. Covering - we can help! We have experts available to discuss the origins of Brexit, its lasting consequences, and what the next decade may hold for the United Kingdom and Europe. Topic and Questions to Consider: The political history and causes of Brexit U.K.–European Union relations Trade, investment, and economic impacts Immigration and labour market policy Nationalism, populism, and democratic movements The future of Scotland, Northern Ireland, and the United Kingdom Britain's role in global affairs after Brexit Lessons from Brexit for policymakers around the world Key Questions What factors drove the Brexit vote in 2016? How has Brexit changed Britain's economy and trade relationships? What impact has Brexit had on immigration and labour markets? Has Brexit strengthened or weakened the United Kingdom's global influence? How have Scotland and Northern Ireland been affected? What lessons can other countries learn from Brexit? Could the U.K. and European Union move toward closer cooperation in the future? What does Brexit reveal about voter attitudes toward globalization and national sovereignty? Our leading experts can provide analysis on the political, economic, and social legacy of Brexit, the evolving relationship between the United Kingdom and the European Union, and the broader implications for democracies navigating questions of identity, sovereignty, and international cooperation. Connect with an expert today:

Decoding epilepsy, one brainwave at a time

Epilepsy isn’t always easy to diagnose. Seizures often don't occur during routine brain-wave recordings, leaving doctors without the direct observation they need to make a clear diagnosis. In a proof-of-concept study in mice, University of Delaware researchers and collaborators showed that using artificial intelligence to detect early warning signs hidden in the brain's electrical rhythms can identify subtle EEG differences linked to a genetic form of epilepsy, even when no visible seizures occurred. The findings, published in the Journal of Neural Engineering, set the stage for the next phase of the research, which will test the method on EEGs from children being evaluated for epilepsy at Nemours Children's Health. A dictionary of brain waves Neurologists often use EEGs to help diagnose epilepsy, but routine recordings offer only about a 20-minute snapshot of brain activity. Without a seizure captured during that window, clinicians must look for far subtler clues that can be difficult to detect visually. That's where AI comes in. “Our machine-learning approach lets the algorithm learn the brain’s ‘language’ of waveforms, spotting subtle patterns humans might miss during manual review,” said Austin Brockmeier, assistant professor in electrical and computer engineering and computer and information sciences. Starting small with a mouse model When Brockmeier presented his computational neuroscience research at a seminar, he caught the attention of Amanda Hernan, an affiliated associate professor of psychological and brain sciences and biomedical engineering at UD and senior research scientist at Nemours Children’s Health. Hernan studies how variations in brain activity affect thinking and learning in children with epilepsy. The two decided to put machine learning to the test using EEGs from mice with epilepsy-causing variations in the TSC1 gene. The researchers used a panel of more than 40 mice, including animals with and without the gene variation, across three different genetic backgrounds, or strains. They extracted EEG segments from five days of recordings from each mouse for analysis. Because the EEG segments contained no seizure activity, the algorithm had to detect differences in the brain's baseline activity alone. It was able to distinguish between the mouse strains and to detect the TSC1 gene variation with high accuracy in two of the three strains. “These results show that EEG patterns contain measurable signals of neurological differences, even without visible seizures,” Hernan said. Taking it to the clinic Now, Brockmeier and Hernan will next apply their approach to EEG recordings from children being evaluated for epilepsy at Nemours Children's Health. Pediatric EEGs are shorter than the multi-day recordings used in the mouse study, and children present with many different types of epilepsy. But the researchers are optimistic. “The goal is to identify biomarkers that flag underlying changes in the brain’s electrical activity before seizures occur,” Hernan said. Earlier detection could lead to earlier treatment and less uncertainty for families. That uncertainty, Hernan said, takes a toll. “Seizures follow natural cycles, but without a way to know where you are in that cycle, the anticipation can be incredibly anxiety-provoking,” she explained. Better pattern recognition could also improve treatment decisions. For example, if a new medication is introduced during a natural lull in seizure activity, its benefits could be overestimated. Looking further ahead, the researchers envision a future where wearable EEG devices allow continuous, real-time monitoring for those with high risk of seizures. Similar approaches could eventually be applied to other neurological conditions, including autism and ADHD. "This is a step toward precision medicine," Brockmeier said. "Brain-wave typing could help identify which interventions will work best for a given patient." For families navigating the daily uncertainty of epilepsy, that kind of precision could make a huge difference. To speak with Brockmeier and Hernan, please reach out to mediarelations@udel.edu.

World Cup 2026: Georgia Southern University Experts on the Game Behind the Game

Atlanta is one of the World Cup's biggest host cities. Georgia Southern faculty across economics, health sciences and international studies are ready to speak to the stories behind the tournament. Featured Topic The Atlanta Advantage: Regional Economics of Hosting the World Cup What it means for local businesses, tourism, and the long-term economic legacy of a host city Atlanta's World Cup moment is as much an economic story as a sporting one. Georgia Southern University economics professors Michael Toma, Ph.D., and Anthony Barilla, Ph.D., can speak to tourism revenue, infrastructure investment and what host cities actually gain — and manage —- when the world comes to town. Experts Michael Toma, Ph.D. - Regional Economics and Development Anthony Barilla, Ph.D. - Economics and Public Policy Featured Topic Playing Across a Continent: The Physical Demands of a 48-Team Tournament What elite athletes face competing across climates, time zones and a month-long schedule 48 teams. Multiple cities. Almost no recovery time. Georgia Southern health sciences and kinesiology professor Samuel Wilson, Ph.D., and sports psychologist Brandonn Harris, Ph.D., can explain how a World Cup schedule affects the human body and how elite teams prepare for it. Experts Samuel Wilson, Ph.D. - Health Sciences and Athletic Performance Brandonn Harris, Ph.D. - Kinesiology and Exercise Science Featured Topic More Than a Match: The World Cup as Cultural and Political Exchange How the world's biggest sporting event becomes a stage for diplomacy, identity, and soft power When 48 nations converge on American soil, the game is only part of the story. Political science and international studies expert Christopher M. Brown, Ph.D., can speak to the geopolitical dimensions — national identity, soft power and what it means for the U.S. to host global soccer for the first time in a generation. Experts Christopher M. Brown, Ph.D. - Political Science and International Studies

Raising Awareness of Rip Current Safety

Jase Bernhardt, associate professor of geology, environment, and sustainability, recently joined FOX Weather to talk about his research that offers a virtual reality simulation of being caught in a rip current and teaches ways swimmers can navigate to safety.

UD’s happiness expert appears on NPR's Hidden Brain to explain importance of a helping hand in a stressed-out America

Happiness isn’t just about chasing big, exciting moments. A lot of the science points to the smaller, everyday things that help people feel connected, calm and grounded. Simple habits like helping others when we see them struggling create a bigger impact than we often expect. University of Delaware's resident "happiness expert" Amit Kumar, a psychologist and assistant professor of marketing in UD's Lerner College of Business & Economics, appeared on NPR's Hidden Brain to discuss that very topic.  Kumar discusses why sometimes it feels like we can't help others and how we can surmount those fears to build strong connections and also feel a greater sense of happiness.  To speak with Kumar about this topic, click his profile. 

The world is burning useful waste, and cleaner alternatives are needed

When we talk about clean air, the conversation usually turns to traffic: exhaust fumes, congestion, school runs and the air people breathe on busy streets. That focus is understandable because road transport remains one of the most visible sources of poor air quality in everyday life. But Clean Air Day should also draw attention to a less visible question: why are useful materials still being burned as waste? Clean air is about more than traffic Around the world, huge quantities of leftover straw are still treated as waste to be cleared quickly, with rice straw one of the clearest examples. More than 700 million tonnes of rice straw are produced globally every year, and around 80% is burned. That contributes directly to air pollution and greenhouse gas emissions, while also destroying material that could have value. At Aston University’s Energy and Bioproducts Research Institute, researchers are exploring alternatives to open burning of crop residues, including whether materials often treated as waste could instead become useful sources of energy, fuels or bioproducts. This matters because the clean air debate needs to look beyond transport. How we manage waste, land and energy also plays a part, and agricultural residues should not automatically be seen as rubbish to be burned. In many cases, they could be resources with real value. Why burning crop waste matters The World Health Organization describes air pollution as one of the greatest environmental risks to health, estimating that ambient outdoor air pollution caused 4.2 million premature deaths globally in 2019. Much of that risk comes from exposure to fine particulate matter, which is linked to cardiovascular and respiratory disease and cancers. That is particularly relevant when residues are burned in the open, as smoke and fine particles can travel beyond the field where burning takes place, affecting nearby communities and wider air quality. There is a practical issue as well as an environmental one. If burning is the fastest and cheapest way to clear land, it can easily become the default, which is why any cleaner alternative has to work for farmers and communities in practice. It is not enough to tell people to stop burning; they need practical alternatives that make sense economically and locally. Turning waste into cleaner alternatives Biochar and bioenergy are two examples of how waste crop material can be treated differently. Instead of being burned in the open, residues can be converted into useful products or sources of renewable energy. Biochar can also offer practical benefits for farmers when it is produced and applied appropriately. Studies have shown that addition of biochar to the soil can improve its structure, help retain nutrients and, in some cases, reduce the need for synthetic fertilisers, which will lower associated emissions and economic demands. The water-holding capacity of biochar can also support crops during dry periods, potentially reducing irrigation demand in drought-prone seasons. Work connected to rice straw has shown that cleaner alternatives to burning can produce measurable environmental benefits while supporting local economies. Community-scale rice straw bioenergy systems, for example, can avoid 2.7–3.5 tonnes of CO₂ equivalent emissions per hectare each year, while creating fuel savings and reducing post-harvest losses for rice farming communities. Research and interviews have shown that farmers and local stakeholders are willing to participate in these transitions when alternatives are designed around their needs and priorities. During community engagement activities, participants consistently highlighted cleaner air as an important benefit, not only for environmental reasons but also because of concerns about the health impacts of smoke and the financial burden of illness. For many households, avoiding respiratory problems and expensive hospital bills was seen as just as important as generating additional income from agricultural residues. That matters because cleaner air is linked to more than one policy area. Transport is important, but so are farming, energy and waste. Research can help identify what works, where the trade-offs are, and how promising ideas can move beyond the lab. It can also support industry, policymakers and local partners to develop alternatives that are practical rather than theoretical. For policymakers, the lesson is that air quality cannot be improved by focusing only on the most visible sources of pollution. Transport matters, but so do homes, industry, farming, waste and energy systems. There is no single answer. Agricultural residues vary, local conditions vary, and technologies need to be assessed carefully, but cleaner air will require better options than burning. Clean Air Day should prompt us to ask why useful materials are still being burned in the first place. If we want cleaner air, we need to reduce what we burn and get smarter about what we waste. This article was written by Dr Samuel Sogbesan and Thea Mae Baltazar from Aston University’s Energy and Bioproducts Research Institute. (Photo by Sandie Peters on Unsplash)